threatened with disciplinary for leaving message

[allaboutthatsass]

I'll keep this short.

There's been problems in our department. There are several teams in this department. Myself and several colleagues have complained but no change, so several of us are looking for other jobs.

One colleague has another job and we were asked to sign her leaving card. I signed it along the lines of "congrats you lucky thing! Take me with you, lol x"

Now my manager has pulled me aside and told me my message was 'inappropriate' and could be interpreted badly by other managers in light of all the recent complaints. It could be percieved as 'stirring' and 'bullying'. He says other managers may question him and he may have to give me a warning.

I'm really upset by this. Whilst I obviously do wish I was going too, I didn't think the actual message was 'bad' or something that could warrant an actual warning. I didn't think it was much different from what other people may put in a leaving card and was really trying to be jokey.

So what do I do or say? There's no union. I can't afford to actually leave and I like my job, it offers me lots of great flexibility, I just dont like management.

Sacking her would not be seen as a reasonable response to her written comment, or any other sanction for that matter. Just ludicrous. Manager is what can only be termed "a fuckwit"

Agreed.

However, some posters on this thread claim that the card comments constitute disrepute and insubordination - and have provided sod all proof to substantiate such BS.

Agreed, tha manager is a snowflake fuckwit.

Manager was just swinging his dick. Pathetic little man. I bet you a fiver you’ll hear no more of this, OP.

I've been invited to informal mediation.

What exactly did they say in their invitation? On what grounds? What is the exact offence?

Who will be in the meeting?

Remember that you’ve done nothing wrong and let them know that you will be meeting with a solicitor. Stupid arseholes. Fight back hard.

My manager and the departed colleagues manager. My manager would facilitate.

It's to discuss the "unkind" comment and apparently an exit email complaint the departing colleagues manager sent to hr saying why they were leaving. Didn't know about that but feels like I'm Being targeted as retaliation for that when I never wrote that email, just the jokey message in a card!

Sorry departing colleague wrote the email not her manager, typos on my phone.

Can you take someone into the meeting with you?
It seems a bit heavy handed that you will be there with 2 managers.

What the hell?! Your workplace is crazy!

Trying to be optimistic, is there any chance that they’re going to try to positively address some of the complaints from your former colleague?

and who are you taking in to the meeting with you? Make sure you take someone in to note take.

Take an advocate in with you. Why aren’t HR involved? If HR are ”friendly”, I would insist on this. Or perhaps I would take it upon myself to invite a friendly HR person to join. The departing employee’s leaving email message is absolutely nothing to do with you. They are trying to muddy the waters here. I would also insist on the meeting minutes being taken (and not by one of the managers—they seem shady).

Absolutely ridiculous of them, OP. Sorry you're going through this. Personally I'd be telling them I'm having my own conversations with ACAS. I'd also be forwarding the invite onto HR and requesting a HR rep attends the meeting too.

Absolutely ridiculous! Contact ACAS. I would be bringing my own grievance against him for this. What an utter twat he is. My understanding is that you can refuse mediation. I did when my bullying manager demanded it.

This is madness, you didn't write the exit email. So the ex colleague's manager has received a few home truths, what has that to do with you? You didn't name them in the card either. What tosh.

even more reason to complain about this manager and his threats to discipline you for a message in a leaving card.

a pp has linked to ACAS - front this out and keep at work with you

if they do start down this route - keep very detailed notes of everything they do

good luck with the job hunt

Absolutely bonkers. I would keep reiterating that you meant their new job looks great and that bears no reflection on your current workplace even if that's how they've chosen to interpret it. I would also consider a complaint of your own about this whole situation and the way it's been handled.

the reason for keeping detailed notes of everything they do

is so you can use them in the employment court if you need to at a later date

Actually id contact HR about this point now

The manager shouldn't be telling you information about a complaint - unless its about you.
The complaint doesn't have anything to do with you, again unless the complaint is about you.

If you know the complaint isn't about you then

Dear HR

My manager has today invited me to an informal meeting concerning an exit Emil that xyzzy wrote to HR, the is inappropriate as the email is not concerning me.

get in first

Your "manager" sounds nuts. This is in no way, shape or form 'warning' worthy. He needs to go and get himself clued up about the kind of behaviour he can threaten with warnings. This isn't one of them. Take no notice.

OP wrote 'you lucky thing! Take me with you'. And has been 'invited' to mediation.

I no longer work, my comments are (I hope) those of the ordinary woman in the street: what's to mediate? Mediation is surely between parties in a dispute - what's the dispute between OP and ... who, exactly? I can't see a situation here which calls for it.

OP's card comment - former colleague's new position is so highly desirable, who wouldn't want to go with her? It's not a negative comment on her current employers. (Yes, I know it probably is in reality but it doesn't actually say so).

Take a photo of what you wrote in the card and ask the manager to include that in the official warning, as well as him documenting the reasoning for the warning. It will make him look like a complete idiot.

I think it's an inappropriate message personally. If I was on your team and saw that it would give me a negative vibe!

He is bullying you op. I would challenge him on a warning for a harmless message in a card is not appropriate at all, and take further advice. This is not okay. He needs to be stopped. Yes you are being targeted and it’s not your anxiety.