threatened with disciplinary for leaving message

[allaboutthatsass]

I'll keep this short.

There's been problems in our department. There are several teams in this department. Myself and several colleagues have complained but no change, so several of us are looking for other jobs.

One colleague has another job and we were asked to sign her leaving card. I signed it along the lines of "congrats you lucky thing! Take me with you, lol x"

Now my manager has pulled me aside and told me my message was 'inappropriate' and could be interpreted badly by other managers in light of all the recent complaints. It could be percieved as 'stirring' and 'bullying'. He says other managers may question him and he may have to give me a warning.

I'm really upset by this. Whilst I obviously do wish I was going too, I didn't think the actual message was 'bad' or something that could warrant an actual warning. I didn't think it was much different from what other people may put in a leaving card and was really trying to be jokey.

So what do I do or say? There's no union. I can't afford to actually leave and I like my job, it offers me lots of great flexibility, I just dont like management.

Are you in a union?

you made a joke, their reaction actually says everything about them. Their defensive response rather than reflection. Shows poor management

Think it was a completely unprofessional thing to write and no, not everyone who values their jobs write things like that on leaving cards, I have never seen comments like that on any leaving cards that I have signed, just because everyone says it’s ‘normal’ dosent mean it’s right and just because you think it dosen’t mean you have to say it
If you dislike your job so much, why don’t you leave?

I like my job, I don't like certain people. I keep my head down as much as possible, but other people have made complaints. All I did was put a jokey message on a card and suddenly I'm a target.
I also have an appraisal thing soon and have to complete a form in advance about what went right over the past year and what could have gone better. What the hell do I write now. "everything is rosy?" cause being honest could get me shot couldnt it.

Ridiculous. The only people being unprofessional here are the OP’s manager and whichever idiot is backing him up.

If you’re concerned there’s dissent in the ranks, I can’t think of a worse way to handle it than hauling someone into the office over an innocent comment in a card. Do they really think trying to scare people into submission is a good idea?

There is nothing ridiculous about my comment, I said I thought the comment the OP made on the card was wholly unprofessional and I still think it is,
I don’t know what kind of job you work in but in my profession you wouldn’t get people making silly comments like that on cards

Attend the meeting with bullet points you would like to get across.
You made a jokey comment in a leaving card(as did others)
Your manager did not like it and suggested he may have to give you a warning.
You offered to change it, he declined. Hopefully mediation is to help manager realise overreaction/not handling situation well. You can offer you will be much more guarded with any humour in the future.

If the "appraisal" (survey?) has any chance of identifying you, that's exactly what you do and say - everything is rosy posy. If it’s independent and deidentified - say what you like and feel (if you want). You could also leave breadcrumbs (comments) to throw anyone off that the survey came from you - perhaps talk in the first person about an incident in another team? (In team such and such, we encountered blah blah).

in any case, I’d be looking for a new job ASAP.

Going against the grain here. I would tell them it was a genuine comment due to the low morale caused by problems in your department.

Calling it a joke or jokey comment is suggesting that you knew it was not appropriate but wrote it anyway. I would double down rather than try and back track.

They cannot sack you for having an opinion. I would be pushing this back at the manager.
'Am I not allowed to have an opinion'
'Are you not aware that the team morale is on the floor'

Is there a way of constructively putting forward what needs to improve. Being solution focused

This is a great point

Reading ops posts, I really don't think there is any mileage in her fanning the flames and raising the issues which staff have. These have already been raised by others, including the leaver. She should concentrate solely on the remark on the card ... they are trying to drag her into what the leaver said in her email, she needs to side step it.
We are not talking about dealing with professional managers here who are keen to listen to feedback.

If it's am appraisal it's about what you have done well and what you could do better, concentrate on that, referencing KPIs if possible.

Read my posts please instead of interpretting them incorrectly. I don't believe the card comment is insubordination abd I clearly saud so.

@ByQuaintAzureWasp

You quoted my comment, which was in response to @Shimmyshimmyshimmy

I never said you claimed it was insubordination - you made the reference to it based on the response I gave to @Shimmyshimmyshimmy

Perhaps take your own advice about reading posts first and see what I had written and what it was in response to - because that reply didnt involve you at all.

🤦‍♂️

My weekend is just worrying about next week and what more will happen. I don't want to be pushed out. I like the actual job and the flexibility it provides. I don't want to let people win. I'm pretty anxious but the more people I speak with (outside of work), the more people say I've done nothing wrong.

If you are intending to go to the meeting what are you going to say about the supposed "unkind comment" on the leaving card if they ask what you meant by it?

Just FYI unless you're in one of very few professions, there are normally unions you can join. If you're unsure which union to join, the TUC website may have suggestions- you don't need a union rep in work necessarily, union officers and officials can also fill this role, and most unions have a legal helpline.

If you feel like you don't trust HR and you're worried about this, then I would be seriously trying to find a union to join!

I have now joined a union and spoken to someone I know who is a union representative for that same union and gotten some good advice I will use. Still nervous though. My work (charity) are very anti union.

Well done!

I hope the meeting is to try to understand the issues on the ground and ideas for resolving things in order to create a positive work environment top down

My work (charity) are very anti union.

I wonder why…..

if they say anything about union reps, you say coolly no one goes to a sudden meeting called informal mediation without support, do you really think I should have jumped straight to paying a lawyer? On my salary?

What?

The op is concerned her employers are very against unions, so she risks critical comments by saying she will be bringing one. Im suggesting a calm response should they do this.

update - two managers left the organisation today apparently (our director told us) and yes one of them is mine. All we've been told is that they have left and their work covered by other managers until roles both recruited. Weird, but good. I did send HR an email to ask for more information but I was polite, wonder if its related to that. Dont know if things will improve though. Still worried a bit about potential trouble for me.

@allaboutthatsass Are they the managers that your colleague was pleased to be leaving, and the one that filed the complaint?