My glasses are broken, so please forgive any mistakes—everything is blurry.
I’ve been working for a local council for about four months now. My team is small, consisting of seven members: six of us on the same level and one manager, let’s call him John. John’s manager is Karen.
Most of the team, especially Karen, works from home. I still work full-time in the office since I’m still in training. I’m also the only Black person on the team.
I’ve noticed that whenever Karen comes to the office for meetings (which is rare), she never acknowledges my greetings. If I mention something to her, like, “Oh, that desk isn’t working,” she just stares at me without responding. She has never engaged with me at all.
This made me wonder why.
Out of the blue, I received an invitation to a meeting from Karen. I was puzzled, as I wasn’t sure what it was about, and I was a bit concerned. Eventually, I found out the meeting was sent to the whole team.
Unfortunately, I missed the meeting, but my colleagues told me she announced that she was leaving due to redundancy and was visibly upset.
I felt sorry for her and struggled internally about whether to reach out. I eventually sent her a lighthearted, heartfelt message apologizing for missing the meeting and acknowledging her redundancy. She read it but never replied.
A few days later, she came to the office again. This time, I chose to ignore her entirely—I refuse to allow myself to be ignored as she has done to me in the past. I overheard a colleague talking to her about her redundancy, but I didn’t engage.
Her behavior disgusts me, and I’ve been contemplating the right time to bring this up with John or even Karen herself.
Now, I suspect there may be plans for a send-off party for her. My initial thought is to tell John and the team that while I’m available, I won’t be attending because I find Karen rude, unpleasant, and possibly even racist. Alternatively, I could raise this issue with John or HR when the opportunity arises, though I don’t feel inclined to formally call John into a meeting.
What do you think? Should I simply express my reasons for not attending the send-off, or should I file an official complaint with John or HR? She leaving soon but then it will be on record 🤷🏽♀️