Racist manager

[tothem]

My glasses are broken, so please forgive any mistakes—everything is blurry.

I’ve been working for a local council for about four months now. My team is small, consisting of seven members: six of us on the same level and one manager, let’s call him John. John’s manager is Karen.

Most of the team, especially Karen, works from home. I still work full-time in the office since I’m still in training. I’m also the only Black person on the team.

I’ve noticed that whenever Karen comes to the office for meetings (which is rare), she never acknowledges my greetings. If I mention something to her, like, “Oh, that desk isn’t working,” she just stares at me without responding. She has never engaged with me at all.

This made me wonder why.

Out of the blue, I received an invitation to a meeting from Karen. I was puzzled, as I wasn’t sure what it was about, and I was a bit concerned. Eventually, I found out the meeting was sent to the whole team.

Unfortunately, I missed the meeting, but my colleagues told me she announced that she was leaving due to redundancy and was visibly upset.

I felt sorry for her and struggled internally about whether to reach out. I eventually sent her a lighthearted, heartfelt message apologizing for missing the meeting and acknowledging her redundancy. She read it but never replied.

A few days later, she came to the office again. This time, I chose to ignore her entirely—I refuse to allow myself to be ignored as she has done to me in the past. I overheard a colleague talking to her about her redundancy, but I didn’t engage.

Her behavior disgusts me, and I’ve been contemplating the right time to bring this up with John or even Karen herself.

Now, I suspect there may be plans for a send-off party for her. My initial thought is to tell John and the team that while I’m available, I won’t be attending because I find Karen rude, unpleasant, and possibly even racist. Alternatively, I could raise this issue with John or HR when the opportunity arises, though I don’t feel inclined to formally call John into a meeting.

What do you think? Should I simply express my reasons for not attending the send-off, or should I file an official complaint with John or HR? She leaving soon but then it will be on record 🤷🏽‍♀️

You’ve no employment rights. I’m not sure I’d be calling people racist without some evidence, to be honest. They can let you go a whole lot easier than they did Karen.

It could be racism. You are right. It also might not be. However the overriding factor for me would be that in the work place you can very quickly (and often unfairly) be singled out as "difficult" or a "troublemaker" so you do need you pick your battles and be very careful about making accusations or raising issues. Personally I wouldn't bother putting my head above the parapet for someone that was leaving. Rightly or wrongly it could have negative consequences for you which would be very unfair. She won't be a problem for you soon.

Well, we don’t know Karen, so we don’t know. Maybe it’s the enormous chip on your shoulder making her wary of you?

Oh, and despite being very busy and very senior, if my boss’ boss invites me to a meeting, there are very few reasons I would decline it.

Don't go to any leaving parties. You don't need to give a reason.
I don't feel she has been obviously racist. She seems to not like you but that could be any reason.
I don't know what industry you're in but word gets around within industries and you may come across her again, and those who work with her, in the future so it's worth considering that.
(I actually did report someone for racism in the work place. I made it clear that I wouldn't take it further if they made her aware that her comments (mainly jokes) were inappropriate and to send her on some diversity training, which they did.)

Honestly OP? - She is leaving.

Totally ignore and move on with your life.

You on the other hand still have to work here with your lovely colleagues.

Save yourself some serious angst over someone who is actually leaving of her own accord and nothing to do with you.

Just treat her like she's treating you. She's going soon so it won't be a problem for much longer.

I don't think you can really say this is racism (it might be but there's no evidence).

I've recently started a new job. Reactions from the existing employees vary from people being really friendly to totally disinterested / appearing to be ignoring me. I just tell myself that however people behave says something about them, not about me. I'll just take responsibility for and care about what I'm doing (stay friendly and pleasant).

You missed out the part where she was racist.

Oh and you have a cheek to call anyone racist given the outdated/offensive language you use- whites, blacks, Karen.

“Another white hired after me”

A white what? Cat? Tin of paint? Person?

As someone complaining about what you perceive to be racism I’m not sure this language is helping your cause.

Not every negative behaviour towards you, is racism! I’m white and get treated like this sometimes by random people with zero cause or reasoning; This is despite being perfectly polite & friendly to everyone I meet.
Also there’s always at least one person in every workplace who you don’t gel with, that’s the case for absolutely everyone.
One of my neighbours categorically refuses to acknowledge me or my daughter; Yet is lovely to everyone else. All the other neighbours are great! We’re a quiet household, never have visitors, keep our house & garden tidy & well presented so there’s no obvious reason for it. Sometimes some people just don’t like the ‘aura’ or the vibe somebody gives off. I think it’s quite a leap to presume it’s because of the colour of your skin….

What makes you think this is racism? I just can’t see anything to suggest this? Maybe there’s just something about you she’s not warmed to/isn’t struck on?

@Startrekkeruniverse

Thank you for your response. To clarify, I mentioned race to highlight the issue and describe the context of the treatment experienced. It isn’t about reducing anyone to their race but about pointing out a pattern of behavior that feels significant to me

I understand how language can sometimes be misinterpreted, and I appreciate your feedback. However, I hope the focus remains on the behavior I’ve described and the broader issue I’m trying to address.

Not sure this is racist . My manager ignores me! It was horrible when I first started. She didn't help me at all. No small talk but ultra friendly with other team members. I'm not sure if I'd go. If it will help
Bond with other members of the team then maybe.

Thank you for your comment. I want to clarify that mentioning race was necessary to describe the situation accurately. Without referencing race, how could I have explained the dynamics or highlighted the issue I’m experiencing?

It’s not about using outdated or offensive language but about providing context to the treatment I’ve observed. I hope this helps you understand my intent, and I’d appreciate it if we could focus on the behavior I’ve raised, as the language was used specifically to make clear exactly what was going on.

What do you think? Should I simply express my reasons for not attending the send-off, or should I file an official complaint with John or HR? She leaving soon but then it will be on record 🤷🏽‍♀️

I fully believe you that Karen is an unpleasant racist woman.

But you expressing this or filing an official complaint won’t go on any record because she has already been made redundant. She likely would not even be told about it. It won’t affect her reference for another job either, as she has left prior to any disciplinary action being taken. The company will NFA it because they have already taken her job, there is nothing more they can do.

All it will do is put a target on your back. You’d be falling on your sword- doing the honourable but entirely pointless and self harming thing.

Save the complaint of racism for when it will make a difference. There is no shortage of them after all.

On the leaving do, just don’t go. If anyone asks you just say you have prior commitments and you never really got to know her. You have already reached out about missing the meeting and it was for work related reasons. Leaving dos are really for close colleagues, not any random who leaves the company.

Don't shit on your own doorstep

Thank you for your comment. The situation I described highlights differential treatment that I believe is rooted in bias. While I didn’t explicitly state she was “racist,” the behavior I’ve observed feels significant enough to raise concerns about potential prejudice.

How else would you explain someone who speaks to everyone else (all white) but completely ignores me, the only Black person there? Yes, I’m new, but she is happy chatting away to someone even newer, who is white. That, to me, is equivalent to her saying, “I don’t like you” or “I don’t like you because you’re Black.”

On top of that, she’s a rude and mannerless person, which only amplifies the problem.

What a shock, a bunch of white women deciding something isn't racism because this woman isn't shouting racial slurs down the corridor.

The sole Black employee is the only member of the team who is treated this way, it's racism, even if it's not deliberate, it still results in racial bias.

I would speak with HR, because you deserve better than another day of this treatment.

I agree at the willful ignorance. I believe the OP.
However, this is one of those pick your battles moments.
There won’t be any more days seeing Karen because she works from home and has been made redundant. OP can easily skip the leaving do.

Reporting to HR will not help OP at all and look a bit foolish as Karen is already out the door and looking for a new job.

I'm not white and I think OP herself is displaying racist prejudice.

Whatever left wing crap you're consuming is corrupting your mind.

I don't know what else I am expected to think and moreover she engages with another person (white) who started weeks after me this is a very important detail