Told by boss to stop hugging in the office

[Ilovechcolatealways]

Evening all

I have been working at my current job for over 20 years so have built good relationships with most colleagues
I consider it part of my personality to hug certain colleagues. I usually hug hello / goodbye but sometimes also during the working day

We work in a stressful environment, therefore some days are worse than others and I like a hug to relieve stress !!!

Today I was called into an office by my boss and told that I must stop hugging in the workplace and it is not the 'done' thing at work.

In all of my time there, I have NEVER been told / asked to stop doing this.

The recipient's of the hugs always reciprocate the hug and none have ever told me they are uncomfortable with them. Obviously if they were then I would stop immediately and apologise. I have read our policies today and nowhere does it state that hugging is not allowed and I really don't want to stop.

Can anyone offer advice on how I can handle this ???

@Youcantwinthemall
DM me and we can try and make it happen 😃

But faire la bise is purely formal, like a handshake, in many workplaces. It doesn’t indicate any particular joie de vivre or pleasure in one another’s company in a work context. Definitely not like a ‘stress-relieving hug’.

Not on Fridays and never over the boss’ desk?

The people being hugged might be ok with it but onlookers may not.
It is all round best to keep hugging out of the office. It’s really not necessary or required.

Do you work with me? I have s colleague that wants to hug all the time. It's awkward, I reciprocate because it's the quickest way to get her out my office but I hate it. It's unprofessional, rude and makes me feel, well (as my teen says) meh 🙄

I doubt there are posters above the photocopier stating 'No Shagging In The Office' - and yet we all know that it's not the done thing to shag in the office OP 🤔

Same goes for incessantly hugging colleagues! You shouldn't need a poster campaign to know that it may make other feel uncomfortable 🥴

I'm 'a hugger', but wouldn't bring this trait into the workplace!! It's strictly a 'friends and family' zone, surely you know this???

I bet the complaint is from a jealous collegue who didn't get a hug. Why not double down and give every single person in the office an extra long, tight hug? Imagine how relaxed everyone will feel.

I've worked at the same place for 9 years. For colleagues (both sexes) I've not seen in a while we tend to hug hello/goodbye if it's been a while. it's sort of what we do. I'd not thought it weird.
That said I have a male colleague at work who hugs me and it makes me uncomfortable. I can't put my finger on why it does.
Someone has complained who maybe is new or has got the confidence to say they don't like it.

I consider it part of my personality to hug certain colleagues

Does anyone else find this sentence creepy AF? Maybe it's just me.

I don't complain about much, but if I worked with you OP I'd be looking for a new job, even if it wasn't me you were hugging. The complainant may not be someone you hug but someone who witnesses your need to hug people and is unsettled by it. If you want physical affection, internet dating is a thing.

How do you handle being told to stop? Erm, you stop! If that is causing you problems, you need a counsellor so you can deal with your feelings.

I worked with a hugger.

She smelled.

Stop it.

You sound lovely. I hate hugs, and I’d feel too bad telling you that if you were my colleague. I hope you can find a different way to channel the goodwill you feel towards others.

Umm. They are not kissing each other because they are happy to see each other. That is just how it’s done in Paris. They might hate each other, you can’t tell.

It’s not just you…

No, it's not appropriate.

I've never hugged any of my colleagues - although I have been tempted to strangle a few.

I don't think you take this seriously at all OP, almost mocking people who expressed that you should stop the hugs.
You could work with me for 20 + years and we could have a great work relationship but you wouldn't know that your hugs almost cause me panic attacks and even watching you constantly hugging others makes me extremely uncomfortable.
As a victim of child SA and DV I would also never be able to confront you and ask to stop as well.

I think you've taken this relatively well, OP.

It isn't ok to hug on arriving/leaving then in the day as well at work.

I never hug colleagues. A squeeze of an arm in a difficult or upsetting situation. I once hugged a colleague who broke down in public and ushered her out of the way.

On nights out, even with colleagues, I think all bets are off and you can dispense your hugs if it seems everyone is up for it.

It could also come over as quite exclusive to the not hugged people, it can be seen as a display of 'besties' in the workplace.

All in all, this is good advice you have received.

It’s pretty obvious that one of your colleagues has complained. If you don’t stop you could be on the path to a disciplinary for harassment or misconduct. Just stop. It’s not appropriate to hug your colleagues and you shouldn’t do so.

@StereotypicalKaren Don't give a shit I'm about to get deleted. You absolute disablist nasty, thick as shit, ignorant bastard. Cunt. From a half autistic twat mother, of a half autistic twat daughter.

@ImAnAutum Saw your post first before the other and thought that's a bit uncalled for but then clocked the other poster - yeah, they totally deserved that, good on ya.

Yeah, it's not the other people on the thread or the OP that are the twats.

@TofuTart honestly, I swear I try and be a good and kind person and you shouldn't even lower yourself but jesus, my blood was boiling. They r clearly just that antagonist type.

CANCEL THE CHEQUE!!!!!!!!!

@StereotypicalKaren please, please tell me you don't have children. Words matter. Online, face to face, written in a letter. Words matter. Your a really sad person. And only I'm actually a normal person, I actually pity you.