Told by boss to stop hugging in the office

[Ilovechcolatealways]

Evening all

I have been working at my current job for over 20 years so have built good relationships with most colleagues
I consider it part of my personality to hug certain colleagues. I usually hug hello / goodbye but sometimes also during the working day

We work in a stressful environment, therefore some days are worse than others and I like a hug to relieve stress !!!

Today I was called into an office by my boss and told that I must stop hugging in the workplace and it is not the 'done' thing at work.

In all of my time there, I have NEVER been told / asked to stop doing this.

The recipient's of the hugs always reciprocate the hug and none have ever told me they are uncomfortable with them. Obviously if they were then I would stop immediately and apologise. I have read our policies today and nowhere does it state that hugging is not allowed and I really don't want to stop.

Can anyone offer advice on how I can handle this ???

You’re due a rewatch, it was spanking. Not sure which I’d enjoy least, at least a spank doesn’t linger claustrophobically.

Hugging people at work isn't on. If you hugged me I would complain immediately. I wouldn't want you in my personal space. I just don't think touching people in the workplace is commonplace now or welcome.

This thread has reminded me of the Meghan and Harry documentary where Meghan says "I'm a hugger!" And goes on to imply that Kate didn't like being hugged by her when they first met and was therefore cold and mean!

It’s a way that in groups / cliques etc can be seen. I think you can’t say how other feel about your very visible affection shown to certain people and not others makes people feel.

Anyone else think the word hug sounds strange now? 😀

Yep, don't do it. High five? Or just don't touch your workmates. Bake em a cake instead - that's a bit like a hug, only from the inside.

Glad you’ve taken it on board. I’m very friendly and open with my colleagues but would hate it if any of them hugged me. I would reciprocate because not hurting their feelings would be more important than my discomfort. But I would really hate it. I’ve been hugged by ‘huggers’ many times in the past, and yes I reciprocate. But I still hate it and wish they wouldn’t touch me. Huggers never seem to understand that.

But it’s definitely not for the workplace.

You should handle this by stopping the hugging.

I wish I could bake them I would

You literally wrote that you only hug a certain few people and that you have a laugh and go on nights out with "some people".

I'm not saying you are a cliquey biatch, I'm saying that it may appear that way and some people may be upset by it.

Ok

This. Just stop.

@foodtoorder it is very normal in my team but we do deal with really sad deaths daily. If I worked in Tesco or a bank I cant imagine needing to hug people and imagine I wouldn't want people hugging me. Unless I was working with my best friend.

All I was thinking reading this thread was that the OP was Meghan and Kate was the boss!

I was an oncology nurse. Hugging was pretty normal after a particularly sad event. Or sometimes when it just all got too much. It helped us to pick ourselves up and carry on. I couldn’t imagine it being usual in a firm of city lawyers though.

No hug no kiss was introduced by my employer decades ago:

1. Can’t be one rule for you, and another rule for the creepy guy.
2. This is the new woke: other people might feel sad that they don’t get hugs. Or “unsafe” they might get hugged & are afraid!
3. Some people don’t like to be touched at all
4. Someone might feel it’s sexual harassment

Best policy for your employer. No touching anyone anywhere anytime

For this very reason I have avoided a career in any environment where hugging and kissing is the norm, ie pr.

I was hugged by a lovely co worker whom realised mid hug I was frozen with shock:) both of us very embarrassed.

Living in France total nightmare due to all the three kisses to say hello and goodbye to anyone in the vicinity. Maxed out the British aloofness big time.

Perhaps some of the colleagues you hug feel awkward and want it to stop, but they’re too British polite to tell you to stop it to your face.

They’ve told the manager, in confidence, and the manager has had no choice other than to tell you to lay off the hugging, without dropping any employees in it.

Take it on the chin, please don’t take it to heart, and stop everyday random hugging. You’re obviously a kind and affectionate person, but please understand not everyone else will be.

Personally I’ll only ever hug someone at work if it’s their last day and we’re saying good luck and goodbye, or if they’re visibly upset about something and need consoling.

Is this a reverse? I know someone who got fired recently and this was one of the reasons. Other people had quit because they were uncomfortable with it but didn't feel they could mention it to her herself.

Lol, this made me actually laugh 😁

I imagine there are all sorts of things not specifically forbidden but that you wouldn't do

"What do you mean I can't hop up and down holding a haddock and singing Agadoo?! It doesn't say anywhere that I can't!"
🤣

Anyway OP, yeah I think you just need to stop hugging. My colleagues are lovely, but if they started hugging me at work I'd be like WTF, back off a bit lady!

This ^

Yes, does it state you're not allowed to stab people? Of not, go do it and see what happens

And this ^

@Ilovechcolatealways you are a man?
I can't imagine a son's girlfriend requesting that a mum shouldn't hug her, but a dad? Yes I've heard a few girlfriends have to fend off over/huggy dads (myself included).

If you are a man, please please stop. It's gross.

If you are a woman, bless you, but yes stop hugging at work.