Told by boss to stop hugging in the office

[Ilovechcolatealways]

Evening all

I have been working at my current job for over 20 years so have built good relationships with most colleagues
I consider it part of my personality to hug certain colleagues. I usually hug hello / goodbye but sometimes also during the working day

We work in a stressful environment, therefore some days are worse than others and I like a hug to relieve stress !!!

Today I was called into an office by my boss and told that I must stop hugging in the workplace and it is not the 'done' thing at work.

In all of my time there, I have NEVER been told / asked to stop doing this.

The recipient's of the hugs always reciprocate the hug and none have ever told me they are uncomfortable with them. Obviously if they were then I would stop immediately and apologise. I have read our policies today and nowhere does it state that hugging is not allowed and I really don't want to stop.

Can anyone offer advice on how I can handle this ???

I love to hug. I used to work in a very huggy place and then moved to a non huggy place where I missed the hugging. Now I wfh so no hugging confusions.

I consider it part of my personality to hug certain colleagues.

You're touching people, without their consent, in the workplace!

My guess is that someone in management has noticed the liability risk given that changes in workplace culture are now backed by legislation.

You handle it by stopping hugging people.

Yes - the manager is quite new and possible jealous that no one hugs her

Probably cos she's a bit of a cunt 🤣🤣

There are new laws coming in where employers have to ensure that employees are not subject to any form of sexual harassment and I suspect they can't be seen to bee allowing this to happen in case at some point in the future someone complains about you doing this if they find it inappropriate. It may be possible that someone has indeed complained about you doing it and them not liking it but don't knkw how to tell you.

I work in quite a huggy sector. I love a hug. But even within those huggy parameters, hugging work colleagues on the daily is really fucking weird. Stop it.

Absolutely not without their consent !!
Where have I said that ???
I understand boundaries which is why I was slightly confused !!!

I lived in France and there are strict and accepted parameters about how much you touch people - it is a very formalised thing, just like going into shops and saying Bonjour Mesdames/M'sieurs' to the people in there. Now that I could get on board with... 🙂

Does anyone remember the episode of Friends where Chandler's boss was hugging everyone?

I'm sure you're very lovely and kind but you're talking about the workplace. A work space is not the place for hugging, it's unasked for contact, unprofessional and downright weird.
What's more, in the current climate, you could well find yourself on the end of lawsuit if someone took it badly....cries of "I only meant well" and "I've been doing it for years" are not a credible defence.

Thing is, some creepy types abuse the situation. So you give out non creepy hugs making it hard to stop the creepy huggers.

I complained recently about a colleague touching me constantly. It was one evening meeting, not creepy, loads of people around. He was quite tall, kept touching my arm, putting an arm across my shoulder, patting me. I felt like a therapy dog.

It’s actually quite controlling- like the elderly lady gripping your forearm as she talks to you so you don’t walk away. Bloody irritating at best.

Never watched much of friends. How did this episode end? 😂

Someone has definitely complained- either that you are hugging them and it makes them uncomfortable but they don't feel able to tell you, or, that you appearing very cliquey in your open plan office by only hugging certain people and going on nights out and having a laugh with "some people" in front of other people who you leave out.

I cannot think of a workplace where it would be normal to hug people so much. I think I hugged a lady at work when she lost a family member. If people were hugging hello and goodbye so much I think people would make complaints. Kind of reminds me of cliquey teenage girls at school.

I believe that Chandler hated it at first but then felt left out and it ended with him getting a slap on the arse from the boss.

I used to work in France and this is absolutely true - it’s just part of the culture. I used to think it shaved hours off their working day what with all the air-kissing and greetings, it took forever 🤣

I'm a hugger but I realise that not everyone is, so I don't impose on anyone. I wasn't reared as a hugger - quite the reverse! - but I do love to show my affection now through a hug! I haven't hugged a lot in work tbf. I did have a colleague pre-Covid who sat near me and we could tell when each other had had a tough day and we would have a hug! It was totally reciprocal. It's one of the things that got us through hard times! I have had a new work colleague of just over a year and we've really gelled, and I've supported her through tough times. The two of us went for lunch after a team meeting recently and she hugged me, and I really appreciated it.

I hug my friends, I hug my only remaining aunts, cousins, and I hug one of my sisters. I hug my children all the time.

I've one good friend who hates hugging - and we all hug her to wind her up lol! She doesn't mind, she takes it in good part.

I can't bear to be hugged by anyone other than closest family.
Many people are the same.

It's invasive and uncomfortable to be squished up against someone you don't know very well.

I very much doubt the boss is 'Jealous'- someone is very likely to have mentioned that they aren't comfortable with it.

Honestly I have taken all of the comments on board and realise hugging is not for the workplace....

I shall save it for home / out with friends etc

Just wanted to say I think you sound lovely OP! Wish I worked in your office. I’m not even much of a hugger, not at work anyway, but then I’m not they fussed about a lot of my colleagues.

I'm not a hugger at all, one of my closest friends is but she has body odour problems (not for a minute saying you do!) and it's actually affected our friendship as I can't bear to be smothered by her. If I say I don't want a hug she makes a joke of it and gives me an even bigger one so I can't get away from it if I do see her.

Some people aren't comfortable with physical contact. I wouldn't be, even if it was obvious you didn't mean any harm by it.

No one is left out and there is not a clique at all

I get on with 99% of my colleagues but only hug a certain few who reciprocate

People who have suffered SA as children often detest hugs. It's an invasive closeness.

In work it is weird/creepy and very unprofessional.

Come and work with me 🤣🤣