Coworker snapped at the dress I'm wearing

[user1471867483]

I’m wearing a three-quarter length thin white crepe fabric sleeved dress with black ric rac at the bottom. It’s quite sheer, but it’s lined and I’m fine wearing it. It’s boho and vintage. I have thick black tights on with it and black ankle boots. My coworker, who works next door, came in and said, “Aren’t you cold in that”? I said, “No, I’m fine”. She said, “No you’re not”.
Well, I am! I wouldn’t have worn it if I wasn’t OK in it.
The dress is a bit like this:
https://froufroufrocksboutique.com/products/ent-ecru-plus-ric-rac-midi-dress
What I’m really asking is why has what I’m wearing got anything to do with anyone?

As I say, unless posters are aware of the dress code it seems quite odd to say it's not appropriate.

It's a white dress, with black opaques and ankle boots. In autumn. Nothing inappropriate about it unless it goes against a dress code

I would give double "Thanks" if I could!

You just did-thank YOU😂

OP, you seem to be very "this is my style and I love it and so it's fine". Personally it would not be fine where I work (City, finance). Have you thought about checking your staff handbook to see what it says. Whilst I don't think your co-worker should comment, maybe she isn't being critical but clumsily bringing something to your attention?

Why do people always start banging on about jealousy on this type of thread? I never understand that. Not being keen on someone's style doesn't automatically make an older woman an embittered old hag who is mourning her youth...

It's you going on about being floaty, vintage and wafty that's wound your colleagues up.

That is the terminology OP has used on this thread to describe her style, nowhere has she said that she said it to this woman.

Also if work aren’t paying for your clothes (which they usually are not in an office) then it’s not a “fucking fashion show” it’s just wearing something from your own wardrobe and therefore usually will lean towards your personal style. Most people don’t have the money to fund a second wardrobe of frump they can’t get use out of outside the workplace.

But I’ve just read a post saying that the OP sounds like "great fun"…

I don’t quite know why 😉 but I’m reminded of one of those Victoria Wood type characters who gleefully say, ‘I’m mad, me!’

Nice dress. Not office attire though. None of anyone else’s business who wears what. To comment is a form of bullying

But if your office has a dresscode and therefore do care what you wear, then it's tough shit if that dresscode isn't your personal fashion sense.

If the office doesn't have a dresscode, then go off and wear what you want - but don't bleat on about it.

I would feel quite chilly in that today but it doesn't sound like it's her place to comment on your dress sense or say that you are not ok in it.

Completely out of order to comment on what you're wearing, and in 2024 something like this is totally fine to wear in the office with tights. It's cute.

To comment once is not bullying!! Bullying is repeated behaviour intended to cause harm… not a ‘comment’ that someone looks cold in their frock.

@Arlanymor that's just about finished me off

25 years ago I worked in the local VAT office and for some reason (probably because I fancied some bloke there), I saw fit to turn up to work in denim hot pants and a vest top. And yes, I was taken to one side and spoken to

So with my older hat on now, I'd say that dress isn't right for an office environment. But having said that, wear what you like and fuck what anyone else thinks

Not appropriate for office wear.
Not the colleagues place to comment though.
Sounds as though you enjoy upsetting your colleagues,which is also not a good look.

This would my thought. I wouldn't say it, though. If the managers are fine with it, it's none of my business.

If I were client, I'd be surprised.

Yea op tell your dress to stop winding up your colleagues by being all materially n shit 😂

Sorry but if her colleague has got upset at the sight of someone in a dress tights and boots then she needs to get a grip.

Plus let's throw in a bit of ageism, while we're at it.

I'm imagining the op looking like this!

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1166531/Why-Im-proud-wackiest-dresser-Britain-I-got-legs-25-year-old.html

For the record I have seen Sue in Person when she was in her 40s and she did have the most beautiful pair of legs.

This would be perfectly appropriate for our office, so it definitely depends. Sounds like your colleague is just being weird.

Already done, see OP’s reply regarding the person being old enough to be her mother.

I’m old enough to be her mother too, and actually have dresses like those (lost 5-6st and look young for my age, plus have teens, so fuck it, fuck ageism). Wouldn’t wear them to work, though. And I’m an PhD student/uni teacher and lecturer so boho is in (and pretty normal, unexceptional attire, frankly, even in my age group).

I don't think it's professional office wear but really depends on industry/ position etc.

How short and floaty is it? Could you pick something off the floor without your bum showing?

Also I thought short floaty dresses with black tights and boots was dated now? That's what I wore 10 years ago.

It's OP' s comments about her co workers being " old fashioned. And talking about the worker in question being being old enough to be her Mum that really grate.
Op is making judgements on their choice of clothing - which is probably more office appropriate. So she can't complain if they are looking at her and similarly judging. She is being ageist about her co worker - "old enough to be her mum" translates as therefore too old to know about clothes.
It comes over that she thinks it's her job to teach everyone in the office about "style".