Coworker snapped at the dress I'm wearing

[user1471867483]

I’m wearing a three-quarter length thin white crepe fabric sleeved dress with black ric rac at the bottom. It’s quite sheer, but it’s lined and I’m fine wearing it. It’s boho and vintage. I have thick black tights on with it and black ankle boots. My coworker, who works next door, came in and said, “Aren’t you cold in that”? I said, “No, I’m fine”. She said, “No you’re not”.
Well, I am! I wouldn’t have worn it if I wasn’t OK in it.
The dress is a bit like this:
https://froufroufrocksboutique.com/products/ent-ecru-plus-ric-rac-midi-dress
What I’m really asking is why has what I’m wearing got anything to do with anyone?

Not very professional

They didn't snap. They just commented. Why does it matter?

As long as it doesn't breach any dress code rules, you're free to ignore the comments. The image you choose to project is a matter of personal choice, so it's down to you whether you feel your folksy image is compatible with the work persona you want to convey, your ambitions in your job and so on.

I'd probably have worn something like that to the office before I worked from home with tights and boots- would depend how sheer it is but it looks ok from that photo.

It looks like the nighties I had as a kid in the 1980s. Or one of my grandma's side table lampshades. Not remotely office wear. It's simultaneously too casual (totally shapeless which is not flattering by the way) and too short/exposing. You must have half your arse on display when you sit down or walk up stairs.

Your colleague is telling you it's unsuitable.

I like the sound of your outfit but it doesn’t sound suitable for an office job. Doesn’t it ride up when you sit on a chair, then you have to keep smoothing it over your bum.

She is trying to tell you you look ridiculous without actually saying it.

just work in an office and I'm very boho and unique in my dress sense. Think vintage, artisan and folksie - and that's me! I'd also describe myself as way out with a 1960s influence

I wonder what made your colleague comment on this outfit if you're always so way out and folksy. You'd think they'd be used to it.

I mean, depends how similar it is to that dress and how tall you are, my instinct would be to think it was very short or very see through in real life!

She was telling uou it wasn’t appropriate without telling uou it wasn’t appropriate. I’d maybe do a little side eye if someone fronted up in that, but not quite as much as I would if they described themselves as unique, folksy etc 😀

I used to work with someone who would come in in short sleeved dresses in October & November, then demand the heating on, even though the rest of us would then be too hot.

As long as you’re not doing that or breaking any dress codes, YANBU.

I think she was trying to kindly tell you that it wasn't appropriate office wear. Although without knowing where you work and what the other people are wearing it's hard to know for sure. It's a nice dress, but looks like beach/holiday wear to me.

I think she was politely trying to tell you it wasn’t appropriate for the office. Is your dress the same length as the one in the photo?

I used to work at a special needs school, it was always warm. I wore sleeveless tops and skirts. Some older female staff always exclaimed, how how cold I must be! It was a bit bemusing but I just ignored them!

Nope, my dress is not that sheer. I have a black top on underneath on top of my bra and you can't see a thing through it.

If this was AIBU ( which the vein of the thread is, really) I would say that you'd lost me at folksie! 😜

I would say it's suitable if your workplace is a bit arty. But it's for a manager to comment, not a colleague.

Take the subtle hint, mate.

Do you not think you're being a bit dramatic? They didn't "snap". It was a fairly innocuous comment.

And honestly, it is a moderately ridiculous thing to be wearing in an office, unless you work in an art school.

😂😂😂😂😂😂

What’s the point of this thread other than to say ‘hey I’m so cool and quirky and don’t dress like you other boring people’

Were your nipples protruding? If so, she probably hoped you were cold, rather than pleased to see her. It seems a bit too flowy and loose fitting for work, I would worry that leaning forward would show both my boobs and my bum, and she probably doesn't want to spend the day trying to avoid it. Did you try leaning forward in front of a mirror to check your cleavage view?

Also, what's the model holding?

I do think she was trying to tell you it was inappropriate for the office. Only you know if she’s right or not.

It's not appropriate work wear unless your job is at the side of a marina selling boat trips.

Artisan always make me think of pretentious bread misses point of thread

Did they snap or just make an observation? Bit annoying when they tell you how you are feeling - i.e. cold - though.

Looks like something I’d wear by the pool but if that’s fine in your office then you crack on to be fair.

I once accidentally went to work dressed as a hobbit, I didn’t mean to. Grey jersey dress, wide tan belt and boots. Thought I looked the nuts. Got home and as I looked in the mirror to undress I realised I looked like an extra from Lord of the Rings. Sigh.

It's really none of her business but people can be a bit sneery.

As you can see.

If your clothing breaks the workplace rules then that's for your manager to address, it's really got nothing to do with anyone else. I mean, they'll have their opinions of course, but they should keep them behind their teeth.