Make up at work

[ZebraGiraffe12]

I posted previously regarding achieving a promotion and I am super happy about this and I love the promotion. However, I have had a meeting today about a complaint from one of our senior managers. Before coming back from maternity leave I liked to be very glamourous, high heels, make up, etc. However, since coming back from maternity I prefer a nice flat shoe or a small heel and minimal or no make up. If I am at home doing video conferences I will rarely wear make up, when travelling I will wear a bit (lots of photos taken).

Last week I was taking part in a training conference for managers across the world. It was a 5 day conference and on 4 of the days I wore no make up, on the second day I was presenting at the conference and decided to wear some make up. I have just had a meeting with a senior manager who has told me it was very unprofessional of me to not wear make up and that my face is part of selling the company and it needed to look professional. I feel absolutely awful and cried all through my lunch.

Someone please reassure me that I am not in the wrong and the senior manager at my work is. I haven't seen him since I was 4 months pregnant so I know my look has changed a lot.

Thank you

Slightly off topic but I have noticed more young men wearing make up to work over the last few years. Some quite obvious and some going for a more natural but still make up look. Nail polish is getting quite common with young adult males as well

@notacooldad They’re under the pump to look good too now as well. Men’s cosmetics are openly advertised in Korea by K-Pop idols. Not just hair care, but foundation, lipstick and concealer.

@Fraaahnces that assumes everyone thinks make up makes you look good.

As a HR Manager myself, I would 100% advise that you raise this as a formal grievance - it’s absolutely indirect and possibly direct discrimination (both as illegal as the other!) as he would not be having the same conversation with a man. It’s also totally inappropriate and a senior manager, or any other manager of a business should do better and they need to be made aware of that!

My. Fucking. God.

surely you are allowed to punch a bloke at work who does this, isn’t it in the hr book under “allowed male correction” or something?

🙄

Sorry, this is 2024, not 1954!

Absolutely

That was the nice way of telling you that you look rough or didn’t put an effort into looking presentavle

I would 100% report this if it were me. Gender discrimination at its finest.

Was he wearing make-up?
Case closed.

OP, I wouldn’t bring being a mum into this - regardless of having children your role either involves being very well manicured (and some roles do!) or this is discrimination and the snr manager is incredibly rude. I have worked alongside some people like this who expect a certain look and dress code, it is part of the company culture - but seniors who think they can use that to criticize and offend people are a decade behind the times.
Either way, don’t get upset over it, and if it will make YOU feel better find easier routes to a well groomed look - i’ve completely changed my products post motherhood to shortcut a similar look, but only because it makes me happier.

I assume they demand make-up from men too?

I wdnt go to work to work without the basic makeup cos i look like shit. Hormones, time of the month, tired, stress etc takes a toll on my face.

Men dont have that, doesnt affect their skin, so they dont understand it. they go to sleep, wake up and look almost the same. we dont.

Yawn - what a puerile comment.

Lets see a pic of the OP at work and then we can judge......no?

You want to judge another woman on how she does at work by her looks? Have you ever thought that the older you get ,generally the more experienced you become in your career…so if we judge a woman on her looks at work, we should we all just get out of the workplace for daring to age, get wrinkles, grey hair etc? Do you think all the balding, beer bellied men are also less good at their work and should just shuffle in home to let all the energetic good looking people have the jobs? Or is it just women that this thinking applies to?

This.

Had a casual word with HR, who will be pathetically desperate to not be seen inside an employment tribunal, and this will fade away with the rapidity of summer dew.

First, get this bloke to email or text you with exactly what he meant. Something along the lines of "I've been considering our conversation on blah at blah when you said blah and I was wondering exactly what you meant and what it was you wanted me to do." Repeat everything he said and get him to dig to China.

No man has ever been told that he has to wear make-up in business. No woman should.

Where do you work?

Please say that was just an ill-judged joke.

You post a photo of yourself first and let us all judge you.

Some of the posts on this thread show just how deep the misogyny is that some women are defending this man and his ridiculous ideal that women should be dressed ‘up’.

Also, it’s very clear that the OP is not coming back after her post about the chat with the other woman and will not be reporting this. I also fear that she will start wearing make up and high heels again.

What a ridiculous comment. I don't need makeup at work to perform in my role. Do you?

Please take this up the line. It’s illegal, it’s sexist, it’s shocking. This idiot will be fired!!!

Go to HR. Immediately.
This manager has not got a leg to stand on. So start getting it documented.
Just wrong on every level.
But you should also note, if promoted to a role you're very happy with - and you've changed, as in you no longer project an image that the company gained benefit from.
You've reached your top level in that company.
You may just need to find another company that will accept you as you wish to project you.
I have every cordial regard for a new chef. But he sweats and turned up for an interview with food stained clothes. Personally would never eat anything he cooks.
If he can't make the effort to turn up to an interview in clean clothes?
We judge people always on first appearance impressions. And if people can't make an effort, then we expect to be impressed by something else.

Cant believe you are still happy to work there.

Maybe I'm missing something... I can see how it could work with eyeliner or lipstick - and I suppose if they're only talking for a two-hour concert; but how would a normal bloke look if he used concealer or foundation in the morning, once the 5 o'clock shadow came through?