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Colleague's pies

135 replies

glitterfinder · 30/09/2023 19:32

I have a colleague who has taken up baking fruit pies and bringing them in. Not a problem! However it’s not as simple as ‘there’s pie in the kitchen, help yourself’, it’s become a twice-weekly ceremony where we are all brought in to sit at the table to partake and admire whether we want to or not.
For background- this person is loud to the point of unbearable, nosy, with near constant attention-seeking behaviours and drama and has absolutely zero boundaries. She is the kind who uses work as the entirety of her social interaction.
I (privately!) have real doubts about the hygiene of these pies given the pictures I’ve seen of cats on the counters etc, and also the general state of her fingernails. I’m also (again privately) very slowly (but successfully!) losing my pandemic stone by making a few changes with food. Happy to be polite and admire, but I just don’t want to eat the pie.
In this case, over the last few weeks that this has been going on, a cheerful ‘that looks great, but not for me today, thank you’ which would work anywhere else hasn’t cut it. It’s resulted in intrusive questions, pointed hurt looks and going on about it in a mean way afterwards. I have to sit beside her. Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

OP posts:
Ponderence · 30/09/2023 19:42

o ffs this is annoying. I mean if you’re being good with food you could decline and say you’re being good thank you. Just means she might watch what you’re eating at lunch. Or run an errand whenever this is going on x x

frustratedashell · 30/09/2023 19:43

Can you say you can't eat it as you're gluten intolerant?

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 19:44

How annoying. I would be less friendly next time, just say 'I don't want any, thank you' and don't get involved in praising her efforts - once or twice, OK, but she doesn't need validating week in, week out.

Greenshake · 30/09/2023 19:44

Just say no thanks. You don’t need to justify yourself to her. The more you do, the more this will continue.

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 19:45

frustratedashell · 30/09/2023 19:43

Can you say you can't eat it as you're gluten intolerant?

Then OP would doom herself to never being able to eat gluten at work again!😃

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 30/09/2023 19:48

Had this yesterday. My boss forced a cake on me. I took a couple of bites then chucked it in the bin when he left my office.

Witchbitch20 · 30/09/2023 19:48

“No, thank you”.

If she continues to insist and forces a plate into your hand put it directly into the bin.

frustratedashell · 30/09/2023 19:49

OnAFrolicofmyown, yes I get that but it's a way of getting out of it if she's desperate lol

GreenWheat · 30/09/2023 19:49

Oh god, I wouldn't even be going to the table to admire after the first week. I would be at my desk saying "You're very talented. I do need to get these emails out though" and nothing more.

AdaColeman · 30/09/2023 19:54

Just say, "No thank you" firmly and politely, and mean it.

Learning to say NO is a great life lesson.

MargotBamborough · 30/09/2023 19:54

This is so weird. I sometimes bring things I have baked into work. I wouldn't keep tabs on who is eating it or put pressure on someone if they don't want any.

Just say, "No thank you, I don't want any."

As many times as necessary.

rasellagirl · 30/09/2023 19:56

also the general state of her fingernails
Making the pastry will give them a bit of a clean.

MissingMoominMamma · 30/09/2023 19:56

‘How lovely- I’m going to take mine home to enjoy after dinner, I’m not hungry right now.’

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 19:57

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 30/09/2023 19:48

Had this yesterday. My boss forced a cake on me. I took a couple of bites then chucked it in the bin when he left my office.

"I'll save it for later" is your best bet if whatever it is is thrust on you with no chance to decline.

WmFnKdSg1234 · 30/09/2023 19:57

@rasellagirl 😂

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 19:57

rasellagirl · 30/09/2023 19:56

also the general state of her fingernails
Making the pastry will give them a bit of a clean.

🤢

CorvusPurpureus · 30/09/2023 19:58

Next time she rocks up with pie, don't leave your desk. Her pie antics are not your problem.

If she challenges this: 'oh not for me, Fiona!'. Big smile.

If she pushes further: 'no, I really just don't want any fruit pie, Fiona'. Brisk smile.

If she demands to know why: '<hard stare> I did say no thank you. <hold stare>.'

She will almost certainly flap off & annoy someone else.

Don't mention the cats or the finger nails. You just don't have any interest in office baked goods.

MBM18 · 30/09/2023 20:10

"No thank you I'm on a diet"?

SillySausagez · 30/09/2023 20:13

Take it and tell her you’re going to save it for pudding after supper later

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:14

Ask why she's harassing you to eat her pie and ask if you need to escalate this to HR.

SillySausagez · 30/09/2023 20:14

Then bin it somewhere discreet

MargotBamborough · 30/09/2023 20:14

MBM18 · 30/09/2023 20:10

"No thank you I'm on a diet"?

This just invites comments about your weight, or anything else you might choose to eat at work that isn't pie.

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:16

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful".

jenpil · 30/09/2023 20:20

Does the rest of the office have the same problem with her?

If so, it might be worth your manager saying to her not to waste any more working time with the "pie admiring ceremony" and for her just to leave it in the kitchen/break room so people can help themselves.....

Millybob · 30/09/2023 20:21

Bum glued to your seat and headphones on as soon as pie-fest starts. Or develop IBS and talk loudly about what pastry does to your insides?