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Original poster

Colleague's pies

135 replies

glitterfinder · 30/09/2023 19:32

I have a colleague who has taken up baking fruit pies and bringing them in. Not a problem! However it’s not as simple as ‘there’s pie in the kitchen, help yourself’, it’s become a twice-weekly ceremony where we are all brought in to sit at the table to partake and admire whether we want to or not.
For background- this person is loud to the point of unbearable, nosy, with near constant attention-seeking behaviours and drama and has absolutely zero boundaries. She is the kind who uses work as the entirety of her social interaction.
I (privately!) have real doubts about the hygiene of these pies given the pictures I’ve seen of cats on the counters etc, and also the general state of her fingernails. I’m also (again privately) very slowly (but successfully!) losing my pandemic stone by making a few changes with food. Happy to be polite and admire, but I just don’t want to eat the pie.
In this case, over the last few weeks that this has been going on, a cheerful ‘that looks great, but not for me today, thank you’ which would work anywhere else hasn’t cut it. It’s resulted in intrusive questions, pointed hurt looks and going on about it in a mean way afterwards. I have to sit beside her. Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

OP posts:
Jesseweneedtocook · 30/09/2023 20:23

Fucks sake I hate stuff like this. So difficult for people who may have issues around food or an eating disorder or might want to lose weight, whatever size they may be or whether others think they 'need' to lose weight.

Just say no thank you and if she persists ask her to please stop harassing you to eat her pie. If she persists further, take it up with your manager and HR. This person is letting her own insecurities make her become intrusive, insensitive and bloody rude.

Definitely don't just say you'll take some for later. She needs knocking down a few pegs, I hate people like this 😒

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 20:26

"No thank you. I had it last week and was violently ill afterwards"😝

Duckingella · 30/09/2023 20:27

Honestly

Have a private word;you don't really like pie and you don't want to hurt her feelings so you're good to sit it out;thanked her for being so understanding and then walk off.

Kill it with kindness.

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 30/09/2023 20:29

That's so odd, I bake for my team when it's an office day as I get asked to, it's normally sweet treats, I drop a teams message around to say it's on the box at the end of the desks and that's it !, some make requests for the next office time and lots do eat bits, we have a couple that have never eaten anything, I don't find it offensive it's just one of those things.
I'd just say no thanks I'm good and walk away

PinkFrogss · 30/09/2023 20:29

I wouldn’t be partying in the ritual and would make generic excuses each time “I have lunch plans already”, “I’m a bit tied up with a complex case right now”, “I’m not hungry” etc etc.

How does management react to her antics?

AlisonDonut · 30/09/2023 20:30

I can't have pastry at the moment thanks.

BeyondMyWits · 30/09/2023 20:30

"No thanks"
... whatever they say....
"No, no thanks"
repeat.

I do this at work every Friday. I have heart issues, don't need or want cake or coffee adding to my issues, so No thanks... but I'm not talking about my private medical condition with nosy colleagues. They get used to it.

Holidaylover68 · 30/09/2023 20:30

how annoying! I agree with the others, a simple ‘no thanks’ is fine. If she gets the hump with that, then tough! Life is too short to pamper irritating, self obsessed people.

MothralovesGojira · 30/09/2023 20:37

One of my ex-colleagues worked in the same job centre as Dennis Nilsen. He would regularly bring in and share his home made meat pies 😱

sipsqueak · 30/09/2023 20:44

I really don't enjoy desserts and hate people pushing them on me. I have no qualms about declining politely. Not having to do this every week is (yet another) wonderful thing about WFH

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:46

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 20:26

"No thank you. I had it last week and was violently ill afterwards"😝

I mean.. that's certainly an option OP!

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:47

MothralovesGojira · 30/09/2023 20:37

One of my ex-colleagues worked in the same job centre as Dennis Nilsen. He would regularly bring in and share his home made meat pies 😱

Oh my god

viques · 30/09/2023 20:47

Save for later when you “have time to enjoy” . Then discreet bin.

LightSpeeds · 30/09/2023 20:48

^This 😂
(edited - sorry that didn't work! Was trying to quote a previous PPs post - the one about escalating it to HR)

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 20:48

MothralovesGojira · 30/09/2023 20:37

One of my ex-colleagues worked in the same job centre as Dennis Nilsen. He would regularly bring in and share his home made meat pies 😱

Given what he used his cooking pot for 😱

TheMurderousGoose · 30/09/2023 20:49

MothralovesGojira · 30/09/2023 20:37

One of my ex-colleagues worked in the same job centre as Dennis Nilsen. He would regularly bring in and share his home made meat pies 😱

Jaysus this thread took a turn.

Frazzledandfried · 30/09/2023 20:50

Just tell her last weeks pie gave you the shits so you won't be partaking again 🙊

tescocreditcard · 30/09/2023 20:50

Have some fun with it.

Next time you have to admire the cake, clap your hands, squeal with delight and jump up and down. Go on and on and on about how delicious it was for days. After doing this 3 or 4 times, she'll realise you're taking the piss.

MissingMoominMamma · 30/09/2023 20:50

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:16

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful".

😂

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 20:52

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful"

"... I'm an ex-colleague of Dennis Nilsen"

MariePaperRoses · 30/09/2023 20:52

Dennis Nilsen vibes.

LynetteScavo · 30/09/2023 20:58

Say" Oh, unfortunately it's not a pie day for me." Look sad and refuse to go anywhere near the pie. Id necessary firmly repeat that it's not a pie day for you.

pontipinemum · 30/09/2023 21:04

@OnAFrolicOfMyOwn do I want to goolge who that is?

Tell her you don't want it and run away!

OnAFrolicOfMyOwn · 30/09/2023 21:09

@pontipinemum He was a serial killer. I recommend the 2020 tv drama 'Des' with David Tennant in the eponymous role if interested to know more, or the book it was based on 'Killing For Company' by Brian Masters.

PlacidPenelope · 30/09/2023 21:10

However it’s not as simple as ‘there’s pie in the kitchen, help yourself’, it’s become a twice-weekly ceremony where we are all brought in to sit at the table to partake and admire whether we want to or not.

Why? Why are you all so craven and weak as to indulge this?

Happy to be polite and admire, but I just don’t want to eat the pie.

Don't then, what can she actually do to you? Pin you down and force it down your throat?

In this case, over the last few weeks that this has been going on, a cheerful ‘that looks great, but not for me today, thank you’ which would work anywhere else hasn’t cut it. It’s resulted in intrusive questions, pointed hurt looks and going on about it in a mean way afterwards. I have to sit beside her.

No, you don't have to sit beside her (I am assuming you mean in the kitchen?). Stop tolerating her meanness, if she persists then take it to HR.

Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

You handle it by saying a firm, unequivocal, polite 'No'. If she starts then shut her down by continuing to decline and refuse to budge. You cannot be disciplined for refusing to partake in this ridiculous ritual or refusing to eat something you do not want to eat, her, however, could be for her attitude.