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Colleague's pies

135 replies

glitterfinder · 30/09/2023 19:32

I have a colleague who has taken up baking fruit pies and bringing them in. Not a problem! However it’s not as simple as ‘there’s pie in the kitchen, help yourself’, it’s become a twice-weekly ceremony where we are all brought in to sit at the table to partake and admire whether we want to or not.
For background- this person is loud to the point of unbearable, nosy, with near constant attention-seeking behaviours and drama and has absolutely zero boundaries. She is the kind who uses work as the entirety of her social interaction.
I (privately!) have real doubts about the hygiene of these pies given the pictures I’ve seen of cats on the counters etc, and also the general state of her fingernails. I’m also (again privately) very slowly (but successfully!) losing my pandemic stone by making a few changes with food. Happy to be polite and admire, but I just don’t want to eat the pie.
In this case, over the last few weeks that this has been going on, a cheerful ‘that looks great, but not for me today, thank you’ which would work anywhere else hasn’t cut it. It’s resulted in intrusive questions, pointed hurt looks and going on about it in a mean way afterwards. I have to sit beside her. Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

OP posts:
AppleDumplingWithCustard · 30/09/2023 23:16

Are people really so spineless over trivial issues like this that they have to ‘take it to HR’? If I was in HR and a grown adult came to me stating that a colleague is forcing them to eat pies and they don’t want to I’d be wondering if they were old enough to be in employment.

k1233 · 30/09/2023 23:21

Given most people can't make pastry to save their lives, I'd be honest and say I'm really fussy about pastry and don't eat random pies as they typically have pastry that may as well be moistened cardboard.

00100001 · 30/09/2023 23:28

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:16

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful".

Pienful. Actually.

glitterfinder · 30/09/2023 23:34

Pienfull now happily added to vocabulary! Replies have given food for thought (cliché groan) but the woman is like a toddler. I've never had a colleague like her.

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 30/09/2023 23:37

Surely an issue for the manager. Surely there not happy at the time lost admiring this woman's baked goods twice a week

BlueBlubbaWhale · 30/09/2023 23:56

Ask if you can take the whole pie home for your husband because it reminds him of his band camp days

WandaWonder · 01/10/2023 00:01

Just say no thanks, you don't need to make this about you if they have an issue it is on them

LorW · 01/10/2023 00:03

Just tell her pastry gives you horrible heartburn, it’s what I do (though it actually does give me horrific heartburn)

LiesDoNotBecomeUs · 01/10/2023 00:51

'I had a terrible night after a bad pie recently and I'm really off pastry just now ?'

She sounds nutty!

JFDIYOLO · 01/10/2023 00:54

Broken record assertiveness technique:

'No thankyou'
Attempt to persuade ...
'No thankyou'
'Everyone else is ...'
'No thankyou'
'Dont you like pies?'
'No thankyou'

Polite, pleasant smile, same words, same decisive final tone of voice every single time, no variation, no taking the bait or being led into further conversation.

No explanations, apologies, or further information in the face of intrusive questions.

Then back to your work.

Therealjudgejudy · 01/10/2023 01:05

Please use @smallshinybutton reply!!

coxesorangepippin · 01/10/2023 01:37

Coeliac

Came On suddenly

Binglebong · 01/10/2023 02:17

Have a word with the manager (I know it shouldn't be necessary!) "Not everyone has a great relationship with food and making a big deal of it twice a week really goes against guidelines for anyone with eating disorders. We don't know everyone's medical history and they probably wouldn't bring it up but perhaps it would be a good idea if this was made less theatrical and if she wants to bring it in people can help themselves with no comment. I'd hate to think work is making it harder for people to stay healthy."

Edited for annoying typo.

ohsuzannah · 01/10/2023 02:20

MothralovesGojira · 30/09/2023 20:37

One of my ex-colleagues worked in the same job centre as Dennis Nilsen. He would regularly bring in and share his home made meat pies 😱

You're joking, right? 😫

Newestname002 · 01/10/2023 02:35

FoxtrotOscarFoxtrotOscar · 30/09/2023 19:48

Had this yesterday. My boss forced a cake on me. I took a couple of bites then chucked it in the bin when he left my office.

I've done similar. Wrapped it up in a serviette and thrown it away in a bin far away from my desk.. 🌹

supplycaptain · 01/10/2023 02:37

I had a colleague who used to always bring baked goods in the office and literally put a slice on your desk first thing. I initially started giving them away to other colleagues, leaving it in the canteen for someone else etc but then it just didn’t stop. I had to tell her I didn’t want it, I’m dieting etc and was met with lots of “you sure??? Have it later, take it home” and after I insisted “no”, she was always funny with me since!

Elderflower14 · 01/10/2023 02:49

ohsuzannah · 01/10/2023 02:20

You're joking, right? 😫

🤮

BabyFireflyx · 01/10/2023 03:02

Ey love, I don't want to eat yer pie. Alright? Grin

LemonTreeSkies · 01/10/2023 03:09

wizzywig · 30/09/2023 22:07

When she isn't looking, smash your fist into it.

😂😂

theriseandfallofFranklinSaint · 01/10/2023 07:57

I love a pie as much as the next person but every week and having to stand on ceremony and admire the pie? No way!

youveturnedupwelldone · 01/10/2023 08:57

Oh this is one of the good things about hybrid working, there's barely a cake in sight these days.

There always seems to be a cake pusher.... I identified ours a while ago. The one who is always "ooh have a cake.." and you say no thanks and they say "ooh go on, look at the cakes, have a cake..." and you say no and I add "I don't really like cake" and they react like you're a serial killer because OMG who doesn't like cake? Have some cake...

It's tempting to tell them to fuck off, but apparently that's not the done thing at work.

I always establish myself in a new workplace as "someone who does not eat the cake/biscuits/whatever other crap people bring in".

The fruit pie ritual is really weird and I wouldn't participate.

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 01/10/2023 08:59

MothralovesGojira · 30/09/2023 20:37

One of my ex-colleagues worked in the same job centre as Dennis Nilsen. He would regularly bring in and share his home made meat pies 😱

Wonder if it was the same place as my friends sister. He bought them an electric carving knife as a wedding present

ChocolateCakeOverspill · 01/10/2023 09:02

00100001 · 30/09/2023 23:28

Pienful. Actually.

I totally missed the pun in this and googled the word. Got hits for a lots of porn 🤦🏼‍♀️

ShitMermaid · 01/10/2023 09:05

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:16

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful".

If she looks intrigued say your dad died during a pie eating competition.

ShitMermaid · 01/10/2023 09:06

I am imaging the trifle scene in Friends. Annoying pie maker lady will find discarded pie hidden everywhere.

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