Colleague's pies

[glitterfinder]

I have a colleague who has taken up baking fruit pies and bringing them in. Not a problem! However it’s not as simple as ‘there’s pie in the kitchen, help yourself’, it’s become a twice-weekly ceremony where we are all brought in to sit at the table to partake and admire whether we want to or not.
For background- this person is loud to the point of unbearable, nosy, with near constant attention-seeking behaviours and drama and has absolutely zero boundaries. She is the kind who uses work as the entirety of her social interaction.
I (privately!) have real doubts about the hygiene of these pies given the pictures I’ve seen of cats on the counters etc, and also the general state of her fingernails. I’m also (again privately) very slowly (but successfully!) losing my pandemic stone by making a few changes with food. Happy to be polite and admire, but I just don’t want to eat the pie.
In this case, over the last few weeks that this has been going on, a cheerful ‘that looks great, but not for me today, thank you’ which would work anywhere else hasn’t cut it. It’s resulted in intrusive questions, pointed hurt looks and going on about it in a mean way afterwards. I have to sit beside her. Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

This is exactly what I thought of right away!
Why you no like-a ma piiiieeeeeee????

it is a good pieee

Every time we have pie at home - and sometimes just because- one of us will quote this 😂

@Zooeyzebra haha same in our house! Can't walk past a pie in the supermarket without going "piiiiiiee" and occasionally a pitiful, "it was a trick pieee" 😄
Suddenly realising how old that sketch is and how long we've been doing that joke haha!

This is the way.
No excuses, no lying, no "ooh it looks lovely but...". All of these give her reasons to try again to foist it on you.
No "I'll take some for later". That gives her the reward she wants - you taking it and being grateful.
You're worried about making her feel hurt, but she's making you uncomfortable. Your feelings aren't less important than hers.
Stop being polite and admiring her cat hair & fingernail gunge pies, and hopefully she'll stop bringing them! Let her sulk. She'll survive.

I'd say ohhh no i can't come over I'll be too tempted.

I'd raise it with your manager. It's totally against health and safety.
We are not allowed to bring anything to work that isn't bought from the supermarket and fully wrapped when it gets here.

This is the best reply 😆

@glitterfinder we need an update! Is she still making pies? Is she doing mince pies this festive season??

I tend to not die on pie-hills. In the past I've played to their ego.

I've pretended to have taken it home and shared with partner.

Of course, that's the partner who luuuuurved their cat-piss/nail-scraping ridden offerings. 😉

From then on, I was ceremoniously presented with two pieces of cake, bars of tablet etc. etc. to take home for me and Mr Trez to enjoy together. 👍

Edited: Typo

In instances like this i truly love being Vegan ( i know, i know ) we have a big group that tend to bring in pastries on a weekly basis, heavy buttery things and there always seems to be a bit of a ‘oh help yourself’ but when translated is ‘you best go get one’ … but ugh. Cat’s and dirty fingernails i’d stir well clear…

We also had an invite to a german ‘sausage’ breakfast one morning home-made too. 🤢 I’d stand your ground. Join in if its a group event but take an apple with you and say ‘i’m all set ta’