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Colleague's pies

135 replies

glitterfinder · 30/09/2023 19:32

I have a colleague who has taken up baking fruit pies and bringing them in. Not a problem! However it’s not as simple as ‘there’s pie in the kitchen, help yourself’, it’s become a twice-weekly ceremony where we are all brought in to sit at the table to partake and admire whether we want to or not.
For background- this person is loud to the point of unbearable, nosy, with near constant attention-seeking behaviours and drama and has absolutely zero boundaries. She is the kind who uses work as the entirety of her social interaction.
I (privately!) have real doubts about the hygiene of these pies given the pictures I’ve seen of cats on the counters etc, and also the general state of her fingernails. I’m also (again privately) very slowly (but successfully!) losing my pandemic stone by making a few changes with food. Happy to be polite and admire, but I just don’t want to eat the pie.
In this case, over the last few weeks that this has been going on, a cheerful ‘that looks great, but not for me today, thank you’ which would work anywhere else hasn’t cut it. It’s resulted in intrusive questions, pointed hurt looks and going on about it in a mean way afterwards. I have to sit beside her. Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

OP posts:
StaunchMomma · 30/09/2023 21:11

It's one of those where a white lie or a misdirect will just lead to you having to think of something else for next time.

Much better to just say, once and for all, you're eating as healthily as possible and hence won't be participating in pie days.

I'd be reporting any kick-back to HR as this is clearly nothing at all to do with your role.

C1N1C · 30/09/2023 21:13

This is an attention thing, but it sounds like she's getting 'cherried' away.

If you're all made to eat it in front of her, just say you're trying to eat below x calories and your husband had a nice meal planned or something. If you don't need to eat it around her, say uiull have some later or have already had some :)

MikeRafone · 30/09/2023 21:14

Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

Pull her to one side on Monday morning, say I really need to have a quick word with you in private

Tell her that it's really private but having been to the doctors you've been told in no uncertain terms not to eat a few things and pastry is on that list. Really appreciate you not telling anyone else and please don't ask any other questions as its all overwhelming for you. The quickly leave

determinedtomakethiswork · 30/09/2023 21:14

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:16

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful".

I love this one!

airfresh123 · 30/09/2023 21:17

Your colleague is a people pleaser and probably doesn’t get attention at home .Just be polite and say you are not a dessert person and thank her for her efforts.

Used2beMw · 30/09/2023 21:21

Just be vague & say you have various allergies so don’t eat homemade food.

PlacidPenelope · 30/09/2023 21:26

MikeRafone · 30/09/2023 21:14

Dreading pie day next week already. How do I handle this?

Pull her to one side on Monday morning, say I really need to have a quick word with you in private

Tell her that it's really private but having been to the doctors you've been told in no uncertain terms not to eat a few things and pastry is on that list. Really appreciate you not telling anyone else and please don't ask any other questions as its all overwhelming for you. The quickly leave

No, don't dop this you have no need to lie or invent stories just be firm and say no, take no nonsense from her.

griegwithhimandhim · 30/09/2023 21:28

She's not called Mrs Miggins is she?

KissyMissy · 30/09/2023 21:28

rasellagirl · 30/09/2023 19:56

also the general state of her fingernails
Making the pastry will give them a bit of a clean.

Ugh 😑

BrutusMcDogface · 30/09/2023 21:31

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:16

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful".

Please say this! 😂😂😂

AnneWhittle · 30/09/2023 21:42

smallshinybutton · 30/09/2023 20:16

"No, sorry I don't eat pies for personal reasons I don't want to discuss as it's too painful".

this is genius

DreamingofGinoclock · 30/09/2023 21:44

Claim to not like stewed fruit?

PosyPrettyToes · 30/09/2023 21:50

Conveniently develop diabetes?

Whataretheodds · 30/09/2023 21:51

we are all brought in to sit at the table to partake

How does that actually happen, though? One minute you're at your desk, then what?

Just keep saying no thanks. If she persists then do the mumsnet head tilt, smile, slightly puzzled face. "Ah, no thank you very much" and change the subject.

ThatsLifeIGuess · 30/09/2023 21:54

Spoken in a brisk manner in a very matter of fact way... " For dinner the last few days I've had chicken pie, fish pie and shepherds pie. Not to mention pork pie followed by blueberry pie for lunch on Sunday. Quite frankly m'dear, I'm all pied out".

Hurriedly get back to typing emails.

Redlarge · 30/09/2023 21:54

Just say you are on slimming world,be really boring and detailed about how many points you have left etc. Bore the shit out of her and everyone then no one will mention it again.

UndercoverCop · 30/09/2023 21:57

I'd tell her that you don't like her pies, you can do it 121 if you're feeling kind, just say to her this is really awkward and people have different tastes, so I'm sure I'm just missing something but I just don't really like them so I won't be eating them.
She'll stop pushing them on you.

Sunshinenrain · 30/09/2023 21:59

MBM18 · 30/09/2023 20:10

"No thank you I'm on a diet"?

Agree with this.

Just say you’re trying to lose weight, then anytime she brings one in you won’t have to keep coming up with excuses.

AnneLovesGilbert · 30/09/2023 22:00

airfresh123 · 30/09/2023 21:17

Your colleague is a people pleaser and probably doesn’t get attention at home .Just be polite and say you are not a dessert person and thank her for her efforts.

She’s quite clearly not. She’s not pleasing anyone by trying to force pies on them and being mean to OP when she politely declines.

OP, say no, no, no, with escalating volume and ask why she won’t accept your right to decline.

Xmasbaby11 · 30/09/2023 22:04

No thanks. It looks great though!

or something along those lines

I often bake for work and would hate people to feel obliged to eat it or like they can’t say no! There really isn’t any need to give a reason. Not everyone wants to eat random homemade food that they haven’t chosen.

wizzywig · 30/09/2023 22:07

When she isn't looking, smash your fist into it.

whynotwhatknot · 30/09/2023 22:13

just say you dont want to eat sweet things during the day ru8ins your appetite

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 30/09/2023 22:15

Tell her “Listen - for the last time, I don’t want your manky old pies full of old bits of fingernail and cat hair and cat PISS, okay? I’d rather eat a pie baked by Mrs Lovett than your tasteless, unhygienic old shit! When are you going to twig that nobody wants to stand around admiring this old crap when we could get better from the Aldi bargain bin for 10p, without your moggy’s puke in it!! And by the way - your crusts are soggy.”

jenpil · 30/09/2023 22:46

WomanStanleyWoman2 · 30/09/2023 22:15

Tell her “Listen - for the last time, I don’t want your manky old pies full of old bits of fingernail and cat hair and cat PISS, okay? I’d rather eat a pie baked by Mrs Lovett than your tasteless, unhygienic old shit! When are you going to twig that nobody wants to stand around admiring this old crap when we could get better from the Aldi bargain bin for 10p, without your moggy’s puke in it!! And by the way - your crusts are soggy.”

Yes! This! Winner! 😍

MrsBelikov · 30/09/2023 22:53

Bake a fabulous pie of your own. Bring it to work on the same day your colleague is presenting her revolting and unhygienic pie. Watch whilst all of your colleagues devour your delicious pie whilst hers sits untouched. Hope she will be shamed into never baking another pie again and you will be free!