Tell me about your colleagues’ cheeky fuckery

[fuseboom]

A colleague volunteered me for something to my boss without discussing it with me first. I don’t want to be too outing but it’s somewhat akin to volunteering me for night shifts if I typically worked day shifts a and only day shifts were in my contact.

I spoke to my boss about it and they said that this colleague had said someone in another department had asked him to do this. I think this person doesn’t exist 🤣.

I see the funny side as my boss fully backs me up. The colleague is not a malicious person I just think they didn’t want to do this particular work themselves anymore (not unreasonable) but didn’t dare just say so so the solution was to pass it on to yours truly 🤔😂. Without me agreeing. 👀

Please share your stories of your colleague related cheeky fuckery 😊

I worked one summer in a factory that made baked goods including Marks and Spencer mince pies.

It was a souless job, and I was only there for the summer but some of the women worked there for years.

One young woman was very disgruntled with the job, so she deliberately went ot the loo and didn't wash her hands before returning to the proction line where she was handling the mince pies into plastic tray.

There were many hygiene rules that were only enforced on days when there was an inspection too. (eg nets over hair and no jewellery)

I had similar with a colleague, luckily we got Christmas and Easter off as legal secs (lots of law firms shut down over those times). She had a 9 year old son and 4 adult children but liked to be with them at certain times which I usually ignored.

My commute meant I had to get 2 trains which took about an hour, hers meant 1 bus taking 20 mins. Over a period when it snowed she complained or tried not to come in as too hard (she could have easily walked plus it was mostly flat!) I had to divert and get train and trams sometimes. Plus area I live in has very steep hills. I slipped on one during this time and broke my foot so therefore wasn’t able to come in cue lots of sniping when I returned, I actually returned after 3 weeks or so but when snow had gone and no way was I going to slip again and I also told boss if you arrange laptop and audio stuff I’ll WFH which he didn’t do or if you pay for taxis. No way was I going to shell out for a taxi from my own underpaid salary.

I’ve mentioned this before and not sure if CFery or not but same legal colleague would leave downstairs reception toilets covered in period blood and refuse to wipe it up. I asked her to do this once or twice but she’d look at me blankly. Some days it looked like a crime scene. I put wet wipes and anti bac spray but no, obviously expected me or the cleaner to wipe it up.

The woman who put the correction fluid in her boss's tea said at trial that he had been bullying her and 'she just snapped'. Tipp-Ex contains (or used to contain) a toxic solvent. He collapsed and was taken to hospital. It was banned in our accounting office, but not to prevent poisoning.

Oh my god what is wrong with people!! 🫠 in a place I worked in in Australia there was a Phantom shitter, used to leave these giant 💩 in the toilet 🤢

I had a colleague who wanted wfh. Our manager was against it but eventually conceded to a day a week.

Colleague proceeded to massively take the piss. She’d take her allocated wfh day then manufacture excuses to have additional days. I warned her repeatedly not to take the piss in case our manager changed her mind but she wouldn’t listen. Eventually, she told me she was going to ask for extra wfh because commuting for 30 minutes made her too tired. I pleaded with her not to as I knew our manager would flip her lid but of course she went ahead and asked.

The result was we both got banned from wfh even though I’d played by the rules on the basis that manager didn’t want to treat us differently.

The result was we both got banned from wfh even though I’d played by the rules on the basis that manager didn’t want to treat us differently

What a stupid woman! Did she then leave the job, leaving you to do extra work?!

And the manger is one of those like some teachers I have worked with that keep the whole class in when it is only a few kids playing up. Such an unjust way of behaving.

Worked in a care home years ago. One of the staff did most of the shopping, but the fridge always seemed empty. Found out through going through the receipts that she had been taking a lot of the food home!

Then found out she had been taking suppositories home as her boyfriend suffered from constipation! Was soon sacked

Bank member of staff used to nick patients' food (supper provided for us by the hospital) out of the fridge, before supper time. This was in a mental hospital, locked ward. Nice.

In the 1970s when I worked in a local authority's Social Services finance department I was told of a gigantic fiddle that had been going on at a very large old people's home, now long since demolished. The staff had been over-ordering for the kitchens, and sharing out the booty. One person's wedding reception was mostly catered this way. Apparently certain senior staff had 'connections' with councillors (one rolled up trouser leg?), and it was deemed inappropriate to take any action beyond a stern warning and stricter auditing going forward. A manager told me of another, worse, fiddle involving a councillor who was on the committee awarding contracts for homeless B&B provision to a company he owned. The manager said 'I had the cheques and invoices. I could have got him jailed'. When I asked why he hadn't (he thought it was a very bad thing), he said 'I wouldn't have been able to work in local government ever again'. There was a lot of that sort of thing going on. Planning, for example! I daresay things are different these days.

That sounds really embarrassing for the poor workman who ended up being the butt (no pun intended) of the joke. :(

No, I ended up leaving and my former colleague took three lots of maternity leave back to back then got made redundant.

Posting this has just reminded me about when we had snow one winter. She lived across the road (literally) from the station, I lived somewhere rural and got snowed in. She refused to walk across the road to the station in case it was slippy and when challenged on it by our manager, said ‘well, pringle hasn’t been in for the last three days because of the snow either’. Given my car was buried in about three feet of snow, I think I had a slightly more legitimate excuse.

Sadly this is so true........