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Original poster

Tell me about your colleagues’ cheeky fuckery

213 replies

fuseboom · 25/05/2023 19:36

A colleague volunteered me for something to my boss without discussing it with me first. I don’t want to be too outing but it’s somewhat akin to volunteering me for night shifts if I typically worked day shifts a and only day shifts were in my contact.

I spoke to my boss about it and they said that this colleague had said someone in another department had asked him to do this. I think this person doesn’t exist 🤣.

I see the funny side as my boss fully backs me up. The colleague is not a malicious person I just think they didn’t want to do this particular work themselves anymore (not unreasonable) but didn’t dare just say so so the solution was to pass it on to yours truly 🤔😂. Without me agreeing. 👀

Please share your stories of your colleague related cheeky fuckery 😊

OP posts:
GCWorkNightmare · 26/05/2023 11:12

peachicecream · 26/05/2023 10:37

But that would be an organisation-wide change. Not just agreeing one person requesting it. What about their colleagues who see them doing it and want the same? You agree all of that and you suddenly have a massive reduction in working hours that managers have to deal with.

I'm all for the 4-day week, but it has to be planned for as a whole organisation. It's a big change.

It's ridiculous to think one person can just randomly go to their boss and expect it to be implemented just for them, in a company where most people otherwise do a 5 day working week.

Show quote history

I agree, but the poster said they couldn’t understand where the idea had come from. I’ve provided where it could have come from.

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 26/05/2023 11:14

PuppyMonkey · 26/05/2023 08:44

Blimey @YetMoreNewBeginnings I’d like to read the novel based on that story. Shock

Tbh it was madness.

It was a piss easy job with a council. It was well paid for the area given we were all young-ish (and there was an annual increment- not millions but still), good pension and a really decent amount of holidays and flexi time. The core people, of which he was one, had mandatory hours of 12-2. The rest was full flex and the building was open from 8am to 8pm so you had total freedom to be morning or afternoon.

And, as can be seen with the initial plan for him not to be sacked, you could (and many did!) take the piss and not lose your job.

CharlottenBurger · 26/05/2023 11:15

newtb · 26/05/2023 10:59

Xh worked in the public sector - Environnent Agency. Spent hours at his desk looking at French property sites, while 'working'.
Following a ban on alcohol during the working day, he used to eat at the local chinese restaurant and have 2 pints.
He worked at home on Tuesday and would go to a local Italian restaurant, have a beer and a litre of red and drive home the 5 miles or so.

I found his CV from when he applied for a job internally. He'd 'forgotten'
Dropping out in the LVI and abandoning his A levels
Dropping out of a sandwich degree course in chemistry and doing nothing until he was 21.

He could lose his pension. Hope someone in HR is on here!!😀

There was an HEO at a Civil Service I was with like that. Based 50% in one location, 50% at ours. Often used to tell each he was working at the other, and go home. Used to show me pics on his office PC of his house in Spain, asked me to do translations in connection with that, in work time. He got the sack eventually, and then took the Department to a tribunal. They hadn't followed procedures and the tribunal awarded him 15 grand. He was widely resented among the staff for taking the piss when they were trying to do their jobs properly.

HelloShitty123 · 26/05/2023 11:21

GCWorkNightmare · 26/05/2023 11:12

I agree, but the poster said they couldn’t understand where the idea had come from. I’ve provided where it could have come from.

Show quote history

What? 10 years ago? As the poster said when it occurred?

That poster didn't say the CF was talking about recent research or evidence so your post didn't apply.

The poster didn't even say the CF had any proposed argument for why they thought they should be paid for full-time work when working 30 hrs. Just that they were shocked they wouldn't receive the same pay.

Maybe don't dive in to support CFs when you don't know what was happening?

Goodoccasionallypoor · 26/05/2023 11:22

Kissedbyfire1 · 25/05/2023 21:55

Colleague applied for a four day week on her return from maternity leave. Our dept lead asked what her plan was in regards to her workload - it was company policy that anyone who wanted flexibility had to have a plan to cover their work and present this with their application. Colleague’s answer was that she thought I could do it. I was already working full time on projects that were very different from hers and she hadn’t discussed any of this with me.
Cheeky mare. Boss was having none of it, luckily.

I actually think your employer sounds like the real cheeky fucker here to be honest.

Do they really take no responsibility for working with people to solve these problems?

Goodoccasionallypoor · 26/05/2023 11:26

Imeldatryagain · 26/05/2023 08:21

I have a colleague who's obsessed with getting food for free. We have an annual workplace hog roast/BBQ and somehow mysteriously his wife and child 'who just happen to be in the area', always pop in to get some food too. She just walks in and joins the food queue and it's so brazen that no one has yet said anything.

Whenever there's cake or biscuits that people have brought in, he takes a slice for himself and wraps up two to take home (one for wife, one for child). Someone at work has a relative who has a small grocery/corner shop and she recently brought in a big pile of nearly-out of date canned food. He was spotted grabbing a carrier bag from his car to load up.

Recently I was given a load of chocolates for my birthday so took some into the office and walked round offering them to people. He stood there and took six, one for him, his wife, child and one for each of their extended family who'd come to stay for the week.

I do not think he is poor, underpaid or hungry by the way. We are Facebook friends and he seems to have a good quality of life. He just obsesses over taking 'free' food and using it to treat his family.

This is bizarre!

GCWorkNightmare · 26/05/2023 11:27

HelloShitty123 · 26/05/2023 11:21

What? 10 years ago? As the poster said when it occurred?

That poster didn't say the CF was talking about recent research or evidence so your post didn't apply.

The poster didn't even say the CF had any proposed argument for why they thought they should be paid for full-time work when working 30 hrs. Just that they were shocked they wouldn't receive the same pay.

Maybe don't dive in to support CFs when you don't know what was happening?

Show quote history

The post I responded to said

Florencenotflo · Yesterday 22:31

A recent request from a member of staff to only work 30 hours a week but continue being paid as full time. No attempt to even justify the absurd request, they just didn't see why we might have an issue with that.

RECENT request. Dunno where you’re getting 10 years from but maybe you could wind your neck in.

Therealjudgejudy · 26/05/2023 11:43

So glad I work from home alone now!

Daniki · 26/05/2023 11:53

Blondey2023 · 25/05/2023 21:13

We had pizza Fridays at work, the company would order and pay for heaps of pizza for all departments. One particular employee would stand waiting for the pizza to be delivered, then take plates upon plates of slices and scurry away with them. We assumed she was taking them back to her department to share with everyone there..... nope she was taking them home to FREEZE them and save them for herself to eat for the weekend!! Oh and may I add in case anyone thinks she was poor, she was very well paid and lived a comfortable life!

Oh my god 😂😂😂

Tidsleytiddy · 26/05/2023 12:10

HelloShitty123 · 26/05/2023 10:27

Yes. The overwhelming majority of employees are great. It's a small minority who are not but the piss-taking that goes on in the public sector where it is virtually impossible to sack anyone without hours upon hours of red tape, investigations, appeals and tribunals is insane.

Usually, a worker who would be sacked in the private sector with little thought, gets moved around and redeployed to other teams and the problems go on.

Show quote history

Absolutely this. The office bullies are fawned over because management have no idea what to do with them. Wall to wall cheeky fuckery

Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 19:57

Blondey2023 · 25/05/2023 21:13

We had pizza Fridays at work, the company would order and pay for heaps of pizza for all departments. One particular employee would stand waiting for the pizza to be delivered, then take plates upon plates of slices and scurry away with them. We assumed she was taking them back to her department to share with everyone there..... nope she was taking them home to FREEZE them and save them for herself to eat for the weekend!! Oh and may I add in case anyone thinks she was poor, she was very well paid and lived a comfortable life!

What a weirdo!

OP posts:
Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 19:58

GreatBigBoots · 25/05/2023 21:38

Similar to Blonday2023 My previous workplace provided a limited amount of free fruit for staff. There was a fruit bowl or 2 in each department and they were filled once a week, early in the morning. One member of staff went round the office first thing as soon as they were filled and took several pieces from each bowl so then kept them in his drawer for his own consumption. The more bowls of fruit that were put out the more he took. He was definitely not poor or in need of food, just grabby and selfish.

We have a sign at work saying one piece for person. I thought that grown adult needs that? Well now I understand why the sign is needed 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 19:59

Kissedbyfire1 · 25/05/2023 21:55

Colleague applied for a four day week on her return from maternity leave. Our dept lead asked what her plan was in regards to her workload - it was company policy that anyone who wanted flexibility had to have a plan to cover their work and present this with their application. Colleague’s answer was that she thought I could do it. I was already working full time on projects that were very different from hers and she hadn’t discussed any of this with me.
Cheeky mare. Boss was having none of it, luckily.

‘Thought you could do it’ ffs haha

OP posts:
Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 20:02

Some great ones here, thank you everyone

OP posts:
Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 20:06

Imeldatryagain · 26/05/2023 08:21

I have a colleague who's obsessed with getting food for free. We have an annual workplace hog roast/BBQ and somehow mysteriously his wife and child 'who just happen to be in the area', always pop in to get some food too. She just walks in and joins the food queue and it's so brazen that no one has yet said anything.

Whenever there's cake or biscuits that people have brought in, he takes a slice for himself and wraps up two to take home (one for wife, one for child). Someone at work has a relative who has a small grocery/corner shop and she recently brought in a big pile of nearly-out of date canned food. He was spotted grabbing a carrier bag from his car to load up.

Recently I was given a load of chocolates for my birthday so took some into the office and walked round offering them to people. He stood there and took six, one for him, his wife, child and one for each of their extended family who'd come to stay for the week.

I do not think he is poor, underpaid or hungry by the way. We are Facebook friends and he seems to have a good quality of life. He just obsesses over taking 'free' food and using it to treat his family.

His heart is in the right place that he’s thinking of his family but weird way to go about it. Very comical about the bbq.

OP posts:
Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 20:10

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 26/05/2023 08:32

An ex colleague of mine had a baby with his wife. When he realised how much time off he could have in our very flexible workplace he then, when said baby was 4 months old, invented another pregnancy.

He had time off for umpteen appointments for this difficult pregnancy. Even brought the older baby to work a few times as his wife was struggling (everyone pitched in to help out).

There was no second baby. He had planned to say there was a miscarriage, which was 10 days paid compassionate leave where we worked, but then a colleague miscarried twins and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He brought in photos of the “new baby”, but never brought the baby in saying that his wife was too anxious to be parted from her and people believed him. He then panicked and walked out randomly one day when he realised that a new start used to with with his SIL.

Amazingly management originally planned to deal with it by sending him for counselling. Various colleagues made plain they considered he’d stolen for them - the collection for baby #2 was worth in the region of £500 and had been given in cash as they were struggling financially he said.
in the end he was only sacked because claiming the two weeks government paid paternity leave was actually fraud and the workplace had to sort out that they’d claimed it and he wasn’t entitled.

😮😮😮😮

I’m a suffererer of multiple miscarriages and if a colleague made up having a miscarriage as a convenient storyline for him I couldn’t be in the same room as him. Disgusting.

OP posts:
coxesorangepippin · 26/05/2023 20:15

People used to nick washing up liquid where I used to work

Takes the cake

Danikm151 · 26/05/2023 20:18

Last week… work event.
buffet style food. Enough was ordered to cater for 150 people. There were 120 in attendance.
When the last 20 of us where in the queue… getting excited at the yummy things we’d seen piled HIGH on colleagues’ plates there were a few blocks of cheese and about 3 sausage rolls and a slither of salad.
management had to get approval to order more but the venue hadn’t catered for that so all we got was chicken strips and some chips. 😖

tbf they hadn’t said the buffet wouldn’t be replenished but some people deffo took the piss.

A lot of the cfering surrounds food 🤣

CharlottenBurger · 26/05/2023 20:20

Not cheeky to me personally, but a team leader where I used to work had relatives to stay at Christmas, so he drove to the office while it was closed, and took the tearoom fridge-freezer home with him in the back of his Volvo estate so he could keep all the extra food in it. He brought it back and might have been OK if the security people had not viewed the CCTV for some reason. He got a final written warning.

Danikm151 · 26/05/2023 20:20

Another one….
A head of a department passed some stuff over to me advising that help was needed and the task would transition to me…. Turns out she was on a fixed term contract and part of her role was to change the task and improve the process…. She just passed it out of her department and seemed to think that was enough 🤣

CharlottenBurger · 26/05/2023 20:23

Danikm151 · 26/05/2023 20:18

Last week… work event.
buffet style food. Enough was ordered to cater for 150 people. There were 120 in attendance.
When the last 20 of us where in the queue… getting excited at the yummy things we’d seen piled HIGH on colleagues’ plates there were a few blocks of cheese and about 3 sausage rolls and a slither of salad.
management had to get approval to order more but the venue hadn’t catered for that so all we got was chicken strips and some chips. 😖

tbf they hadn’t said the buffet wouldn’t be replenished but some people deffo took the piss.

A lot of the cfering surrounds food 🤣

A woman was placed at our office for 3 months. There was a cafeteria and you were meant to serve yourself the main and veg using big spoons. She used to pile the meat main up on her plate like a mountain, and later people got shirty when there was none left. A notice went up. DO NOT SERVE YOURSELF THE MAIN.

Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 20:24

flabbergastedandfumbletooted · 26/05/2023 09:15

I work in a team of two - we own our own cases from beginning to end. They are allocated by the system (from another team) on a alternating order. However some of the cases have a very short deadline that cant be missed for regulatory reasons. These are allocated on top of the alternating system to ensure they are treated as a priority. For a year I was getting loads of short deadline cases on top of my alternating cases to the point I was run off my feet and starting to really burn out.

One day, after my co-worker mentioned that she had been able to take the time to go to very long works lunch out .... I got suspicious. I happened to look at allocations (not my job and could have got me in quite a bit of trouble) realised I was sitting on twenty cases while my co-worker had four.

So, it turns out the priority cases are auto allocated where the worker doesn't have training days/leave or meetings out of the office to maximise the working time and reduce the chance of a failure.

She had learned to game the system and made sure she had a training day or leave showing in her calendar one day of EVERY SINGLE WEEK so the system automatically discounted her and allocated to me (she then would cancel these the day before so her schedule looked open).

I very carefully raised it with the allocation team (knowing that I could have got into trouble accessing a system outside of our permitted use) and they realised that she hadn't had a priority case allocated to her for over a year. They immediately started manually allocating to us regardless of our calendar events.

She jumped ship before the business had the chance to start an investigation. there was a lot of finger pointing after the fact about how this had been allowed to happen without anyone having a clue.

Whilst I applaud a work smarter, not harder attitude I was under so much pressure it made me very ill at the time.

That cheeky bitch!

OP posts:
Original poster
fuseboom · 26/05/2023 20:26

CherryogDog · 26/05/2023 09:32

Two CF colleagues took it upon themselves to be guardians of all food brought into share.
They'd hide the food in their lockers and bring it out on their breaks. We had staggered breaks, so if you were on a different break you lost out.
If it was boxes of chocolates or biscuits, they'd take one layer out, because some people would take their favourites from the bottom layer if none left on the top.
One day someone brought in a really nice tin of biscuits, and requested that the tin was saved because she wanted it for a memory box.
Well the tin got hidden by the CFs, and that sparked a screaming slanging match in the corridor. The CFs were insistent they'd done nothing wrong, and in the future they wouldn't bother helping anyone ever again.

Slagging match at the work place over biscuits - love it!!!

OP posts:
Pringleface · 26/05/2023 20:36

I have to confess to once being the cheeky fucker. I was temping at a company 30 odd years ago where they had a kitchen with teabags, coffee etc. I was really hard up at the time, to the point of having to spend non working days in the library to keep warm, and I pinched a handful of teabags and stuffed them into my handbag. Unfortunately someone came in and saw me do it. She never said anything but I still feel a twinge of shame when I think about the look on her face.

Sianthomasisnothererightnow · 26/05/2023 20:39

YetMoreNewBeginnings · 26/05/2023 08:32

An ex colleague of mine had a baby with his wife. When he realised how much time off he could have in our very flexible workplace he then, when said baby was 4 months old, invented another pregnancy.

He had time off for umpteen appointments for this difficult pregnancy. Even brought the older baby to work a few times as his wife was struggling (everyone pitched in to help out).

There was no second baby. He had planned to say there was a miscarriage, which was 10 days paid compassionate leave where we worked, but then a colleague miscarried twins and he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

He brought in photos of the “new baby”, but never brought the baby in saying that his wife was too anxious to be parted from her and people believed him. He then panicked and walked out randomly one day when he realised that a new start used to with with his SIL.

Amazingly management originally planned to deal with it by sending him for counselling. Various colleagues made plain they considered he’d stolen for them - the collection for baby #2 was worth in the region of £500 and had been given in cash as they were struggling financially he said.
in the end he was only sacked because claiming the two weeks government paid paternity leave was actually fraud and the workplace had to sort out that they’d claimed it and he wasn’t entitled.

This has gobsmacked me. What on Earth was going on in his head that he thought this was a good idea! And your poor colleague who miscarried twins. How awful for all of you.