Tell me about your colleagues’ cheeky fuckery

[fuseboom]

A colleague volunteered me for something to my boss without discussing it with me first. I don’t want to be too outing but it’s somewhat akin to volunteering me for night shifts if I typically worked day shifts a and only day shifts were in my contact.

I spoke to my boss about it and they said that this colleague had said someone in another department had asked him to do this. I think this person doesn’t exist 🤣.

I see the funny side as my boss fully backs me up. The colleague is not a malicious person I just think they didn’t want to do this particular work themselves anymore (not unreasonable) but didn’t dare just say so so the solution was to pass it on to yours truly 🤔😂. Without me agreeing. 👀

Please share your stories of your colleague related cheeky fuckery 😊

I work in a team of two - we own our own cases from beginning to end. They are allocated by the system (from another team) on a alternating order. However some of the cases have a very short deadline that cant be missed for regulatory reasons. These are allocated on top of the alternating system to ensure they are treated as a priority. For a year I was getting loads of short deadline cases on top of my alternating cases to the point I was run off my feet and starting to really burn out.

One day, after my co-worker mentioned that she had been able to take the time to go to very long works lunch out .... I got suspicious. I happened to look at allocations (not my job and could have got me in quite a bit of trouble) realised I was sitting on twenty cases while my co-worker had four.

So, it turns out the priority cases are auto allocated where the worker doesn't have training days/leave or meetings out of the office to maximise the working time and reduce the chance of a failure.

She had learned to game the system and made sure she had a training day or leave showing in her calendar one day of EVERY SINGLE WEEK so the system automatically discounted her and allocated to me (she then would cancel these the day before so her schedule looked open).

I very carefully raised it with the allocation team (knowing that I could have got into trouble accessing a system outside of our permitted use) and they realised that she hadn't had a priority case allocated to her for over a year. They immediately started manually allocating to us regardless of our calendar events.

She jumped ship before the business had the chance to start an investigation. there was a lot of finger pointing after the fact about how this had been allowed to happen without anyone having a clue.

Whilst I applaud a work smarter, not harder attitude I was under so much pressure it made me very ill at the time.

Two CF colleagues took it upon themselves to be guardians of all food brought into share.
They'd hide the food in their lockers and bring it out on their breaks. We had staggered breaks, so if you were on a different break you lost out.
If it was boxes of chocolates or biscuits, they'd take one layer out, because some people would take their favourites from the bottom layer if none left on the top.
One day someone brought in a really nice tin of biscuits, and requested that the tin was saved because she wanted it for a memory box.
Well the tin got hidden by the CFs, and that sparked a screaming slanging match in the corridor. The CFs were insistent they'd done nothing wrong, and in the future they wouldn't bother helping anyone ever again.

Oh our CF did this. She had always been lazy but then she got pregnant. In our office you could work 4 x 10 hr days or 5 x 8 hr days and she worked 10 hr days. She then said 10 hr days was too much being pregnant (it was a desk job) so could she work fewer hours. We suggested she did 8 hour days but no she only wanted to work 4 x 8 hours. We said fine but obviously it will be reflected in your pay which she wasn't happy with so she stayed on 4 x 10 hr days.

She has the baby telling us she was taking 7 months maternity. Fine. Then she says she's coming back after 3 months! We were surprised but allegedly she hated being at home and was getting depressed so her HV had told her to go back to work.

Of course on the day she was due back she goes sick with post natal anxiety obviously expecting to now have 6 months on full pay. Thankfully HR we're having non of it and we're looking at a plan for a phased return on reduced hours. As she had assumed she'd just be left alone for 6 months and it became too much hassle she resigned. She then started her teacher training course in the Sept which had clearly been planned for some time probably whilst she was still pregnant. The timing would have been perfect. Baby in November nearly full pay on maternity until March, go sick then have 6 months on full pay before resigning to start the course you'd been planning to do all along.

The last place I worked the managers bought us all an Easter egg. They left an egg on the desks of people who were off that day. The well-known, tight as arseholes, shit-stirrer, office cheeky fucker swapped her egg for a bigger one from an empty desk because she deemed hers too small. Cunt

Lots of CF food colleagues as above.

The one that affected me the most was CF just refused to do an aspect of her job. First it was because she didn't know how to do it. So I showed her, printed guides etc. Then it was she didn't have the time, but she admitted she just didn't want to do it, thought it was my job as the 'admin' to do it and was beneath her. It was finance related and I wasn't supposed to do her part of the job as it was my job to approve it and was dodgy from an audit perspective. The best was when her manager (not mine) called me combative and lazy when I kept saying no, I wouldn't do her job for her because if we were audited I would be the one in hot water. Management just basically shrugged it off until I got the head of finance involved. CF then just got the interns or other staff to do it for her. The fuckkunckle is manager in a similar department at another organisation now, so I suppose she got her wish of delegating shite she thought was beneath her.

Several years ago. Public sector community job. CF would arrive in the office as soon as it opened at 7am. Core hours were 9-5 but we allowed flexi.

He'd leave at 12 saying he was going on home visits for the rest of the day which weren't in his diary. For months.

When pulled up on this he'd put appointments in his diary which he never seemed to report he'd done and would just document 'I went round but they weren't in'.

Eventually, a team members 'phone was stolen from her bag in the office. CCTV showed it was him. He was sacked then appealed this and accused the organisation of racism. Which of course, was not upheld. But not till after months of stress and investigation for the team and managers.

Endemic in the public sector

Did you miss the massive 4 day week experiment that lots of companies have been part of?

its based on 80% hours and 100% pay and the results aren’t what you would expect.

Also in HR. Current case: person appointed to role with London base. London salary etc. Hybrid working at 2 days a week. Moved a month later to a house 3+ hours train ride from London. Doesn’t want to come to the office anymore as too far. Asked if we can cover the costs of travel.

I’ve offered them a local base with the required reduction in salary or to forget they asked and they can attend work as required in their contract.

I would love to know thier reasoning on how hiding treats to their benefit constituted helping people.

I once worked in a London office, was living in London like lots of colleagues in flatshares or house shares. Older colleague lived out into Essex because rent was cheaper but argued at a staff meeting she should be paid more than all of us because her travel was more expensive and we all benefited from living in London (zones 4 and 5 - my commute was an hour each way - so not exactly central!). She just couldn’t get her head around the fact that she chose where to live and to take the job so the salary was the salary.

Yes. The overwhelming majority of employees are great. It's a small minority who are not but the piss-taking that goes on in the public sector where it is virtually impossible to sack anyone without hours upon hours of red tape, investigations, appeals and tribunals is insane.

Usually, a worker who would be sacked in the private sector with little thought, gets moved around and redeployed to other teams and the problems go on.

God reading all of these, grateful I never had any sort of CFery in the work place, but even more grateful to be retired. 😀

I've been involved in public sector sackings where the amount of 'red tape' is no more that for the private sector. If they gotta go, they gotta go.

Not the same thing.

The experiment results are compelling. But what this poster was complaining about was a CF dropping their hours in an organisation not implementing reduced hours for full pay yet somehow expecting to be paid the same as they were previously and the same as other workers working full time.

Which is a CF.

...no more than in the private sector.

Not my experience but glad it's not yours.

From the opposite direction. I went from 28 hours back up to full time. My American boss seemed very surprised that I expected to be paid for those extra hours. 🙄 Thankfully she wasn't in charge of payroll. 😂

I would love to know thier reasoning on how hiding treats to their benefit constituted helping people.

Probably this: "Some people are CFs, so we are looking after the food to protect it for everyone."

But that would be an organisation-wide change. Not just agreeing one person requesting it. What about their colleagues who see them doing it and want the same? You agree all of that and you suddenly have a massive reduction in working hours that managers have to deal with.

I'm all for the 4-day week, but it has to be planned for as a whole organisation. It's a big change.

It's ridiculous to think one person can just randomly go to their boss and expect it to be implemented just for them, in a company where most people otherwise do a 5 day working week.

@GCWorkNightmare I have seen it! It looks really good and I'm hoping it does get pushed forwards. Unfortunately I'm in the public sector and we're always about 15 years behind.

This was nearly 10 years ago. At the time though, this person couldn't honestly understand why we couldn't do what she was asking. We explained that I'm sure everyone else would like to do the same but we are a small team in a huge local authority department, I was no where near high enough to agree anything like that.

I suggested that if she was serious that we get together and put a business case together to take to the members for a discussion about trialling it. She wasn't asking for it for everyone, just her. She later put in a complaint about me for not taking it forwards for her. It wasn't upheld.

I had an assistant who would keep spare change after getting us lunch. If it was coins I wouldn't mind but she'd keep over a tenner and never offer it back. When I realised one week that she probably had kept over £50 I asked for it back. "X could you leave the spare change from our meals on my desk please?" Cue her digging through her purse and producing a few pound coins. She wasn't short of money, I bought her lunch, coffee, breakfast, anything I got she was offered and she still kept the change.

Xh worked in the public sector - Environnent Agency. Spent hours at his desk looking at French property sites, while 'working'.
Following a ban on alcohol during the working day, he used to eat at the local chinese restaurant and have 2 pints.
He worked at home on Tuesday and would go to a local Italian restaurant, have a beer and a litre of red and drive home the 5 miles or so.

I found his CV from when he applied for a job internally. He'd 'forgotten'
Dropping out in the LVI and abandoning his A levels
Dropping out of a sandwich degree course in chemistry and doing nothing until he was 21.

He could lose his pension. Hope someone in HR is on here!!😀

I worked for a company that provided training for a specific job.
Training rooms were well-equipped, & often hired out along with a function room & the facility to provide a buffet lunch.
Caterers would be told how many people to cater for, but there was always a shortfall. I was in the room but hidden from view when I saw the boss take a kebab skewer from under the clingfilm, then carefully re-arrange the rest so it wasn't noticeable. He then went on & did the same to other platters !
I stayed hidden, I was very young & didn't know how to handle the situation.

That could be gross misconduct in places I've worked.