Tell me about your colleagues’ cheeky fuckery

[fuseboom]

A colleague volunteered me for something to my boss without discussing it with me first. I don’t want to be too outing but it’s somewhat akin to volunteering me for night shifts if I typically worked day shifts a and only day shifts were in my contact.

I spoke to my boss about it and they said that this colleague had said someone in another department had asked him to do this. I think this person doesn’t exist 🤣.

I see the funny side as my boss fully backs me up. The colleague is not a malicious person I just think they didn’t want to do this particular work themselves anymore (not unreasonable) but didn’t dare just say so so the solution was to pass it on to yours truly 🤔😂. Without me agreeing. 👀

Please share your stories of your colleague related cheeky fuckery 😊

The lengths some people will go to to save money absolutely takes my breath away

Absolutely unbelievable

That woman with the allocation system, i mean, does the woman have no shame whatsoever?! And the miscarriage guy?

Awful people

The manager of another department had fallen a long way behind with his work and he asked if I would help him out as it could only be done by someone at managerial level. I didn't mind helping him and he negotiated with our boss that if I picked him up at 7 am we would do overtime from 7.30 to 9am Monday to Friday and 7.30 to 12:00 on Saturdays and I would get paid from the time I picked him up. I had to pick him up because his wife liked to keep the car.

We did this for three weeks until he was up to date. When I left the office on the final Saturday his wife was waiting by my car and, unsmilingly asked me if we were up to date now. I said we were, thinking she was going to thank me. Instead she launched into a massive tirade about how John couldn't keep doing this with me and how he had a family to think about and how selfish I was being. I was so stunned I just got into my car and drove off.

Halfway home I realised he must have told her that I was behind with my work and he was helping me out. It certainly explained why she had glared at me from the front door every morning when I picked him up and never returned my cheery waves.

I didn't tell John what had happened, he adored his wife and would have been very upset if he knew what she had said to me. But to save time she used to take him part of the way to work in the mornings and park up about 3 miles from town until she saw me or one of the other two people who drove in the same direction then he would get out and we would stop and pick him up. I started driving a different, quicker route after that day.

A colleague of mine kept going behind my back and telling our manager that I had agreed to do jobs that she was too lazy to do. It took me a long time to find out it was actually her doing this!

Not 'quite' CF but ohhh i find it infuriating when our most junior, inexperienced member (but by a long chalk not most recently joined) member of staff can never, ever bring themselves to say 'thank you' in return for any clarification or explanation willingly provided.

They always, always have to say 'oh, yes, I was pretty sure that was how it worked, just thought I ought to check in with you to be polite. I know how you like this stuff'.

As if they were humouring me rather than me giving up my time to explain something new to them, or, very often, some vital but complicated aspect they could not possibly be aware of.

Once they do get it, they are reliable and accurate, so I go along with it but ohhh, i can think of nothing more irritating. I feel obliged to appear fully professional at all times so don't feel I could ever even mention this propensity. And honestly feel why should I help them to be nicer.

Oh sad day, it's the not being naturally the bigger person that is hurting me here. So it is just up to me to let go of that. Sigh.

Sounds like someone I worked with. It was customary at my employer to bring in cakes when it was your birthday. She'd take home any leftover birthday cakes without asking and was eventually issued with a warning when someone complained. She obviously never brought any of her own in.

Interviewed 2 people in January. Person offered the post accepted it but had to give 2 months notice then had some annual leave booked. Fine. They then contacted us in April to say sorry, they'd got a better offer.

So contacted the unsuccessful candidate to offer them the job as they had been appointable but had less points than the candidate initially offered the job. Said she'd love to accept then let us know she is pregnant and had been when she Interviewed. We couldn't retract the offer, she needed an enhanced DBS check which is just completed and she starts on June 5th and is going on MAT leave 2 weeks later. Fab.

You will probably get some stick for this post as technically and legally this lady has done nothing wrong but I totally get where you are coming from

Oh yeah I know she hasn't but it's still a bit of a shitter. She also dropped into the conversation that she'd been off sick for the last few months in the previous role but that the issue wouldn't apply for the new post so she'd work for 2 weeks with us before MAT leave.

They seemed happy to let her go. She seemed lovely at interview so hopefully it'll be okay.

About 25 years ago I was a Sales Manager for a pharmaceutical company, managing 10 Sales Representatives. Their job was to visit GPs and Hospital Doctors to promote products, so on the road alone all the time. As a Manager I would go on Field Visits with each rep every couple of weeks for coaching etc.

One of my Reps had become quite chaotic generally and was having personal issues. I started giving more support and field visits but then went on Maternity Leave.

My cover Manager had worked that territory himself previously so knew the Doctors well, so one called him about Gina after one of his visits.

Long story short she had started working for another company at the same time. So two cars, two Managers and two salaries. Her personal issues we're training courses and having to juggle two Managers for field visits. Presumably she thought she could get away with it.

In my industry we generally work Monday to Friday but there are times when we have to work weekends or go away at very short notice. Totally random and unpredictable and absolutely a known part of the job. I have lost count of the weekends I've had to work or the short notice taskings I've been given because X, Y or Z "has a family".

Yes so do I, husband, brother, parents.

"Well no that doesn't count, I have children."

I absolutely love my job but I'm on the verge of leaving because I'm so tired of being treated like I'm not just as entitled to time off as those with children.

@Liverpool52

I absolutely love my job but I'm on the verge of leaving because I'm so tired of being treated like I'm not just as entitled to time off as those with children.

That sounds frustrating and discriminatory. Maybe do some discreet research into what's available on the external jobs market - you might even find there are better opportunities out there for you. 🌹

@Newestname002 thank you. It really is gut wrenching. I'm looking but I suspect my lack of enthusiasm for other jobs I don't actually shows in my applications.

I need to take a breath and knuckle down though. The grass isn't always greener but I bet it's not as rotten as it is currently.

A friend of mine had a similar problem at a previous job. When she moved on, she claimed her niece and nephew were hers 🤣

Work for LA, during Covid a colleague would step inside public buildings, pubs, cafes etc not buy anything simply step over the threshold. She would then get pinged on her phone later if anyone in the place had COVID and would have to have a mandatory 10 days off. She got pinged 13 times !! And has 130 days off. CF then sold her years holiday entitlement back to the LA . She has only admitted this in the last 6 months, let’s just say that the rest of the team look upon her differently now.

None as bad as these but a former partner at our firm was an absolute food CF. When it was someone's birthday they brought in two cakes, a vanilla cake and a coffee cake. There were about 12 of us in the department. He arrived first and cut himself a huge slice of the vanilla cake, about a third of the whole thing. One of the lawyers said "you can't just take a third of a whole cake!" And he replied "oh I don't like coffee cake" and walked off scoffing. When we had a client meeting that went over lunch we'd order in sandwiches. When they were brought in he'd just lunge across the clients without offering them first and grab a massive handful of what he wanted. Once there were four triangles of tuna sandwiches (apparently his favourite) and he lunged and grabbed all four in one go. The lunch disbursements got added to the client's bill so they really ought to have had first dibs! Another one when I was temping at a water utility company we sat in pods of three and incoming calls were supposed to rotate in order. Eventually I realised I'd had loads of calls for several days and one colleague in the pod seemed to have had none. I asked if he'd forwarded his phone to mine and he said yes and giggled. FFS.

Really sad to hear the attitudes towards pregnancy and particularly post natal depression. Those of you who claim you're in HR, does your employer not insist on mandatory Equality Act Training because I think you need to revisit it and, rather than pay lip service, truly understand it's purpose?

As for the child free employees, the key word is dependants. Husbands and siblings do not need a responsible adult to keep them safe, clean and fed like children do. Being a parent is not a protected characteristic by law but I am aghast that you can't see the difference between caring for a child and spending time with your relatives.

If children are so dependent that they must spend all waking hours with their parent, well women should just get back into the kitchen, shouldn’t they? In reality, children have two parents, or other caretakers. Why should a parent have priority rights to 24 and 23 December?

What utter nonsense. And rude, too.

I worked for a charity. Once a year we used to have 'Volunteers Day' whereby all the staff would make the most delicious homemade cakes and the volunteers would come in, we'd have a quick meeting beforehand and then we'd chat and eat cake and drink tea.

One of the volunteers was famous for taking home lots of cake so I was told and he never came for the meeting part which was obligatory. On this particular 'volunteers day' up he rolled after the meeting, got a plate and had cake and a cuppa. All fine.

I was stood next to him, and then he said to me... 'good job I brought this with me!' and proceeded to take out a huge folded up piece of tinfoil.
I said 'you better not be going to do what I think you are planning to do'
'But I always do' says he
'Correction. You are never doing that ever again'

He never did again.

If the parents don’t want a job that has weekend work, overnight stays etc, as per the post that brought this up, then parents shouldn’t apply for the job. Why should people with no children have to do all the weekends, overnight stays for the same job and pay, as parents - they have a life too, and having children does not mean their wants trump those with no children.

You're mistaking a want for a need.

Children cannot be left to fend for themselves, that's why they're called dependents.

Likewise, if you're not prepared to do the overnight stays or weekends then don't apply if you're not a parent either.

Understanding the "needs" of others is part of being an empathetic, decent person. I am sorry you're missing this and can't tell the difference between equality and equity.

It’s not your colleagues responsibility to deal with your dependents.

If your job involves weekends and late nights then it’s your responsibility to sort your childcare, bar unexpected emergencies, to cover this.

No-one should have to do all of the weekends or late nights because of the life choices of others.

Your child’s needs are your responsibility. Not your colleagues.

And some people absolutely take the piss with it.

I worked, briefly with someone, who had a year round job and it was clearly pointed out to them that school holidays and bank holidays were the busiest times.

They then repeatedly whinged about working school holidays and bank holidays, and tried to pressure colleagues into covering for them, because they had kids…

I am not mistaking a want for a need at all. It is the parents responsibility to sort out their child care, not to expect colleagues to always take on all the unpopular jobs/hours because they have children. If all parents thought as selfishly as you do, no parents, especially single parents would be able to work, as luckily, many employers wouldn’t go along with your discriminatory thinking.

my story seems trivial compared to some of these, but it's cathartic to share.

Blagger:
Very charming fellow, much experienced, much promoted for his "achievements", very respected & deferred to. I worked with him before he got so promoted (& before I knew what he was like).

Totally useless at being organised. He had no idea what was in his email inbox and if/when he replied to an email, it was probably 6 weeks later. He often volunteered for big roles that require organising events with multiple stakeholders, chairing meetings, networking, business plan production. He'd do minimal effort until the actual date of the big event / document deadline was 10 days hence & then he'd announce "Oh I can't do that, I'm going on holiday!" and he'd get some other sap to cover for him, pick up all the work he hadn't done or organised. He did this repeatedly to colleagues. His timing-clash-can't-be-helped holidays were things like windsurfing in Majorca with his kids over half-term.

@stormytwilightnight given that the majority of childcare falls to women, actually it's your thinking that is discriminatory.