Tell me about your colleagues’ cheeky fuckery

[fuseboom]

A colleague volunteered me for something to my boss without discussing it with me first. I don’t want to be too outing but it’s somewhat akin to volunteering me for night shifts if I typically worked day shifts a and only day shifts were in my contact.

I spoke to my boss about it and they said that this colleague had said someone in another department had asked him to do this. I think this person doesn’t exist 🤣.

I see the funny side as my boss fully backs me up. The colleague is not a malicious person I just think they didn’t want to do this particular work themselves anymore (not unreasonable) but didn’t dare just say so so the solution was to pass it on to yours truly 🤔😂. Without me agreeing. 👀

Please share your stories of your colleague related cheeky fuckery 😊

Do you feel better for saying that?

You don't have to agree with a person to feel empathy.

Have you lost the ability to understand that you're dealing with a human being with feelings, even if we are anonymous in here?

@2pence but you do seem utterly insufferable and rather ghastly

What do you get out of making personal attacks on people you don't know?

What's made you like this?

I feel very sorry for you and do hope you have someone in real life who can support you.

It’s more like 90% hours, over four days.

I used to work in social services and for about 12-13 years one particular CF always used to book Christmas and New Year off "because I have chillllldren" and got it every time, which meant that those without (my manager and I) had to work the 12 hour shifts from Christmas Eve to 27th and then NYE to 3rd Jan as the 2nd is a BH in Scotland.
She would book it all off again on Jan 3rd to ensure that she had the Christmas off at the end of the year.
I eventually got the right hump with this and decided that since my mothers health was failing and she lived abroad I was going to book Christmas and NY off in Jan for the end of year and go stay with my parents for a block (basically mirroring what the CF had been doing for over a decade) so as I was working Jan 2 and the A/L calendar had updated I put in a request for just before Christmas and running through New Year.
My boss (manager) approved it.

CF gets in to work the following day and goes apeshit saying id blocked her A/L when she wanted to be with her chilllllldren and it wasn't fair that those without kids were able to "hog" annual leave. She took her complaint to the assistant manager who she was cosy with.
Assistant manager (who also never worked Christmas either) was a pain in the arse at the best of times dragged me into the office and asked me why I had booked Xmas and did I know I was upsetting CF and preventing her from spending the holidays with her offspring.
My manager had to come in to mediate, and I pointed out that I had covered Every. Single. Christmas. And. New. Year ever since I started which was 12 years ago. I would be doing my 13th Christmas had I not nipped in and booked it off.
CF was sitting in a chair doing her best hangdog expression so my boss said "Hang on a minute. If Verv has covered all the Christmas shifts for 12 years, how old are your children?"

They were 22 and 25 by then.

This happened over 20 years ago.

I had been back from mat leave for 6 months or so when I was called into managers office to be told off about some work which had been done and was all wrong and I should no better, affected multiple clients. Now this particular job was only completed in a 6 week period every year. I sat there looking very puzzled and clarified they meant the period that year, yes they did and my mistake had been brought to their attention by the person I job shared with (and who had covered my leave and who they thought the sun shone out of her backside) I calmly pointed out that it was her who had completed all the work in that period as I had literally just given birth and was on leave - she wasn't happy I hadn't taken the blame for her but dumped her in it.

@Verv

my boss said "Hang on a minute. If Verv has covered all the Christmas shifts for 12 years, how old are your children?"

They were 22 and 25 by then.

WOW!! That really was CFery! Shame the managers didn't 'do the math' before though, but at least she was finally caught out. 🌹

I live in Australia and was working when an impending flood of natural disaster proportions was announced. You could see this immense body of water tracking and gathering momentum, and the news was constantly giving a forecast of when it was going to hit certain areas and how a natural disaster allowance was going to be paid for people trapped by the floods. My colleague made a joke of one area being “good fishing”. The next day he wasn’t at work and everyone was so concerned because he was THERE! He was “trapped” by the floods, receiving payments meant for genuine victims - AND HE SENT PHOTOS OF HIMSELF BLOODY FISHING!!! (He didn’t last long in that job, but was shuffled off for other CF’ery.)

Wow 😮 what happed when she got rumbled what did she say ? Did you get the holiday ? Please say yes !

I work in a team at the moment where we have one guy that is the biggest, laziest CF.

We are a call centre type role so answering emails and taking incoming calls. CF has appointed himself (being the only male and having a head bigger than the moon) some sort of ‘manager’ as our actual manager is is preoccupied with his new wife / new baby that he prefers to WFH as much as possible.

CF will allocate hard enquiries to the rest of the team, keeping the nice easy ones for himself, he’ll then sit there with his headphones on listening to music ignoring the phones whilst he takes all day to reply to 3 emails.

The rest of the team (about 6 hard working, efficient women) will average 25 emails a day plus taking calls.

He will also give every excuse to WFH at least once a week where on those days he will do even less.

Flagging to the manager results in manager promising to ‘have a word’ but he doesn’t really as he doesn’t want to rock the boat over his own WFH arrangements.

So the team are all seething quietly, not able to do anything about it apart from leaving.

How can you complain if the manager himself isn’t really interested.

I dream of walking into the MD’s office (nice guy) and literally sitting down and spilling alll about how crap the management of our department is. Not the way to do it though I know.

Take it to your managers manager.

Not a lot you can do as both of these men are hand in glove with each other and your stay at home manger will defend him to the last as they are both getting what they want . I'm afraid it just head down , do what you gotta do at your own pace and start looking for another job .

The moment you begin to make waves you might as well just sign your resignation as you will be managed out of this work place . CF like these are very strategic and often plan ahead for every scenario.

She still tried to argue that she wanted the time off to spend with her children and have a FAMILY CHRISTMAS. Like the rest of us didn't actually have families!

Yes! I got my holiday, I left that job in the summer so never had to deal with her holiday CFery again.

*Verv
*
Good for you .

Used to work in a place where most of us enjoyed baking. Every couple of weeks one of us would bake and bring it into the office. Nothing official, no pressure, not everyone liked to bake so not everyone bought food in, but they would eat what we made. No big deal, small office and more than enough to go around.

until one of the non-bakers decided they wanted to make something one day. Bought it in, and then told us their other half had told them to get the rest of us to pay them back for the cost of the ingredients they’d used!

@dizzyupthegirl86 you cant leave the story there!!! What did you all say?

Oh we laughed! I don’t think we phrased it quite like ‘do you want an invoice made for the last six months of brownies, you cheeky bitch?’ But it was a similar vein. She of course made out that she knew it was a crazy idea, and she was only telling us coz she thought it was funny - but knowing her previous form, she wanted to claw back the four quid she’d laid out for her cookies.

now that I think about it, she was always very quick to take one extra of whatever we made for her boyfriend….

@dizzyupthegirl86 brilliant response 😁

I'm the mug for accepting this shit

Working well over contracted hours despite not wanting too and saying this but I just accept it and do it instead of being firm

I'm a fucking mug

That's modern day slavery . Tell them to pay you for this time or give you the time back . Or just go home at the time your contracted to work till .

This is in the past. Legal secretary we both were. Would go to extended lunch breaks with the boss every day often coming home in time to go home which meant all phones, taking post out etc was done by me. Worked a 4 day week with Fridays off which I didn’t know about until I joined. Then apart from proper holidays i could barely take Fridays off.

She always passed harder and complex work to me.

When I left after 5 years she knew she’d have to step up.

My ex colleague was amazingly clever at filling her day with everything except work!

She’d stroll in of a morning, proceed to apply her makeup and do her hair (her straighteners lived in her bottom desk drawer!), then continue to assembling an impressive breakfast - think preparing five different types of fruit, yoghurt, etc, etc.

Coffee and making childcare arrangements / life admin calls during the morning then out for at least an hour for lunch.

Back in the office to actually prepare and eat her lunch (again, think fancy bowl of salad prepared from scratch!)

Bit of work in the afternoon,(though mostly chatting with colleagues), before usually slinking off a bit early to ‘beat the traffic’ / ‘make her childcare pick up on time’, etc. etc.

Actually fairly impressive that she managed to keep her job! 😆

Here at work there's some workmen outside doing something with the roads. I was dashing out to the public loo as we don't have one here at work and one of the workmen said ''So you think my arse is cute? Very kind of you to say so!''

I was completely confused as I never said it and have never said anything other than good morning to them!

He pointed to the man who was watching out of the window and said ''that man told me you told him you think I have a cute arse!''

I burst into fits of hysterical laughter and said ''that man is my husband!''

It's one of the reasons I love hubby to bits as he's always surprising me with hilarious things!

This counts as CFery. Worked as a legal secretary and realised there was a float legal sec who did extra work out of hours or during them but she WFH and was the only person to do so despite all other secs wanting to WFH but not all the time just maybe 1-2 days a week. She was the best friend of the boss’s wife who didn’t work and the worker who did the extra work lived outside London and had 2 kids. Occasionally she’d come into the office for the day, about 1-2 days out of the whole year I worked there.

I had another colleague once when I worked for a large architects, she was new to being a PA/team secretary but would dump most of her audio tapes onto me and spend ages on the phone to her friends. She also worked after hours as a DJ and would then often come into work late. She was made redundant. Another colleague took about 2-3 months off with a back injury which was genuine but afterwards it was felt she milked this time off. When she returned she did similar long lunch-breaks and spending ages chatting to friends on work phones. She was made redundant too.

I had a very close platonic male friend and briefly we dated who told me after being very pally with 2 work colleagues that when he fell out with one and they sacked him he’d pissed in her milk in the fridge. We lost contact due to falling out then he gets in contact with me. I reply and say thanks but no thanks and brought up the wee incident which he strongly denied saying he’d never do that. I knew he was lying.