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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
cocksstrideintheevening · 28/04/2023 16:54

Oh come on. You don't wfh with a baby.

Tryingtoconceivenumber2 · 28/04/2023 16:55

Absolutely no chance you will get anything done. Barely had time to feed myself and clean when my baby was 3 months. I honestly don't think it's fair either as this type of approach is the reason don't companies are clamping down on working from home x

LouLou198 · 28/04/2023 17:03

Working from home means you work as you would in the office. You wouldn't take a baby into work with you. You need to sort out some childcare.

Hedonism · 28/04/2023 17:04

Sweet, another one of these.

How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

I think it will be manageable for about half a day max, and then you will realise that the age it would be better to use child care is whatever age they are when you go back to work.

shivawn · 28/04/2023 17:04

I think people are being quite mean to you here OP. This is your first baby and it's not unusual to be a bit naive to life with a baby while pregnant.

I agree however that working from home and minding a baby is a really bad idea. Not just because you won't be able to give your job your attention but you won't be able to give your baby the attention that he/she needs either.

Do you have to go to back to work at 3 months? That's really early, your baby will just be coming out of the 4th trimester and waking up to the world around them. This is also around the time that sleep went dramatically downhill for us so there's no way I would have been functional at work.

Original poster
Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 17:11

It's hardly taking the piss. I said that I would be prepared to work out of hours but wondered if it would literally be a I could get 2 hours done here 2 there or just nothing. If I wanted to take the piss I wouldn't be asking. I hate rude assumptive answers like yours.

OP posts:
Jules912 · 28/04/2023 17:12

If you get a baby like my DS you might manage until 6 months, he slept a lot and was happy to just chill on his playmat/in the bouncer etc until then.
However my DD would not be put down, wouldn't sleep unless touching me and had an attention span of approximately 3 seconds for any activity.

TheSnailAndTheWaaaail · 28/04/2023 17:13

A small baby is hugely dependent on you, and you'll be going back to work at the point where they are moving out of the sleepy newborn phase and need a lot more attention!

I absolutely would not have been able to do any sort of reasonable work from home with either of my DC. You need to put them in nursery/with a childminder.

Chocolatepancakes11 · 28/04/2023 17:14

In the nicest possible way OP, your dream of WFH with baby to save on childcare isn’t going to work. I’m a FTM with a 5mo and most days I can just about manage to do the washing up OR shower OR make and eat my lunch before baby cries/wants attention/needs a feed or nappy change. They have very short attention spans and can be very needy. You haven’t even met your baby yet so you don’t really know what to expect.

If you are trying to WFH with a baby, either your work will be neglected, or your baby won’t be engaged with as much as it should be. One or the other will suffer. I say these things as a business owner with staff and as a new mum, I can see both sides of the coin.

notsurewherenotsurewhy · 28/04/2023 17:16

Ah, I think post-covid this one gets really emotive answers in a way it wouldn't have done previously. It's horrible to remember that time for a lot of us who did it then; and it's been a bone of contention in many workplaces since returning to the office became viable.

I don't think you can do it, sorry. Not fair on you, your baby, or your employer. I imagine a rare set of circumstances may exist, where your work is incredibly flexible, your baby is incredibly easy, and you're incredibly chilled out and well rested. But you won't know that in advance, and you won't get any warning of when it's about to change (because it will! The only certainty with children is that just as you get used to their rhythm, they grow and change again!).

All best wishes OP with your pregnancy and your new baby, and with working this one out. Flowers

MagicSpring · 28/04/2023 17:18

I said that I would be prepared to work out of hours

Babies don't really have an 'out of hours' setting.

(Or maybe they do, and I should have read the manual better.)

Optimist2020 · 28/04/2023 17:19

Hi @Gem2x87 . I have a 9 month old and have gone back to work this month (April). Little one was sent home last week from nursery as he was poorly. Me and my partner juggled working from home with him for 4 hours - it was so difficult for us and there was both of us at home , couldn’t answer Microsoft calls, attend virtual meetings and your child just wants you. You’ll be really unproductive at work with a little one. My work allows us to wfh with a baby if they have been sent home from nursery/ childminder . The next day grandparents kindly looked after him on an emergency basis - the thought of a full day wfh with him gave us both shudders 🙈 sorry OP it just won’t be possible. You’ll have to get childcare.

Original poster
Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 17:21

The concept from work from home and it's success is that people don't need to work 9-5 at their desk in order to get their job done. Like I said I am fully prepared to do the hours but maybe not within normal working time. as someone who has had relatively little time with children I have absolutely no idea of impact on your time hence the question. I am really starting to see why Mumsnet has such a bad reputation and why I was hesitant to post 🤣

OP posts:
TreesandFish · 28/04/2023 17:22

Sorry but unless you need zero concentration for your job and you never have phone calls or meetings, I cannot imagine this working. How could you focus on finishing any task if you were constantly interrupted? Imagine you have a call at 11am and it's 10:57am and the baby is refusing to go to sleep. What would you do?

SirChenjins · 28/04/2023 17:22

Without knowing the nature of your work obviously, it's difficult to see how you would be able to do this. Babies don't work on the same schedule as us, so you might get 5 minutes to work and then it might decide it's going to holler for 3 hours - you will be lucky to get anything like 2 hours uninterrupted work. Working in the evenings and weekends when you've been up all night with a baby who's refusing to sleep will be very challenging.

I really think you need to look at childcare so that you can work and rest effectively (or as effectively as you can with a baby)

Fluckinghell · 28/04/2023 17:22

AHugeTinyMistake · 28/04/2023 15:22

Lol.

I suggest you buy in childcare for the two days at home.

Whats the 'LOL' All about?

The OP asked a straight forward question

MsWhitworth · 28/04/2023 17:23

How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby

I think it will be manageable for less than one hour.

KittyAlfred · 28/04/2023 17:25

I could barely go to the toilet when mine were that age, but a friend of mine was able to work for a few months with her daughter, who was incredibly placid. I think she’s the exception though.

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 28/04/2023 17:26

Are you in the UK? It's unusual to go back to work so soon, a 3 month old baby is tiny and still very much dependent on you for everything.

I think you'll feel really differently about going back to work in general once your baby is here.

Leftbutcameback · 28/04/2023 17:27

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 17:21

The concept from work from home and it's success is that people don't need to work 9-5 at their desk in order to get their job done. Like I said I am fully prepared to do the hours but maybe not within normal working time. as someone who has had relatively little time with children I have absolutely no idea of impact on your time hence the question. I am really starting to see why Mumsnet has such a bad reputation and why I was hesitant to post 🤣

That’s certainly not the wfh concept in terms of hours. That’s flexible working / flexi time which might come with wfh, but doesn’t always. I think that’s why there is some confusion in your OP, as you’ve conflated the two without expressly saying it.

Does your work have core hours and a flexi time policy or it is more casual than that?

Freshlycutgrasss · 28/04/2023 17:29

What do you do in your job? If it involves customers/stakeholders, teams meetings and collaborating with colleagues, I don't think you will be able to wfh as you will need to be available on their schedule rather than your baby's.

It's not something I would recommend at all and for the majority of roles and organisations it isn't possible.

Best thing is to speak to your manager or colleagues and see what they think as they will know your role & the organisations culture better than anyone know mn does.

mercymercymeme · 28/04/2023 17:30

It all sounds well and good in theory but it won't work. You really have no idea until you have kids. No malice intended 💙

Original poster
Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 17:34

I think it will be really hard to be honest to leave them which is why I'm posting this. At least when they're with my family I can have constant pics. This may make it worse though. I do have good reasons for wanting to go back though

OP posts:
UpperLowerMiddleClass · 28/04/2023 17:34

As others have already said - hell no, don’t do this.

How would you honestly feel if you dropped your baby off at your mums or a childminder for the day and they told you they’d be working a desk-based wfh 9-5 job while also looking after your baby. Would you have any concerns? Do you think your baby would be 100% safe? Do you think your baby’s needs would be fully met?

BarryStyles · 28/04/2023 17:35

I get that you have no experience of children yet but do you not think there’s a reason that 99.9% of parents arrange childcare for when they’re working? Or maybe we’re all lazy/not trying?

As a previous poster said, how would you feel if you arranged a childminder and then found out they were doing another FT job from home on the side?

You haven’t had the answer you want but everyone has answered honestly. Sorry that you don’t like the answers.

Maybe ask a friend or colleague who had to work from home with a baby during lockdown how it went? I had a 6 and 9 year old then and it was a fucking nightmare. I worked really hard at both and my work was understanding but no-one got everything they expected or needed from me. You can’t do two things at the same time.

Babies often sleep in very short bursts and want to be held both while asleep and awake. Some only sleep during the day on the move in a pram/sling. You don’t know what kind you’re going to get til they arrive unfortunately.

come back in a year and tell us how you get on though, maybe you’ll be the one to make it work.