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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
Lara45 · 02/05/2023 11:38

I am a manager and I work full time from home whilst caring for my DC, I am a single mum. My company are very supportive and I do a good job at work as well as be a good mother to my child. There are days when it can be too much so I work late. I can work anytime from 5am to 11pm. I am fortunate that my job is very flexible and allows me to manage my time effectively.

Ponderingwindow · 02/05/2023 12:07

Lol

you will need childcare immediately

MadMadaMim · 02/05/2023 12:39

Congratulations!

I've read your posts/comments but I haven't RTFT.

You're massively underestimating what having a baby will mean on your time (and energy). Working whilst looking after a baby is not feasible IMO (unless it's for yourself and/or the type of job that has no deadlines, reliance on you/your input to others etc). If it was, we'd all be at the office, babies in tow. We're not and there's reasons were not.

You will be focused on the baby and not work. And rightly so.

Looking after a baby is a full time job until they're around 24 (years, not months!)

LolaSmiles · 02/05/2023 15:02

It's not about being a bad mother.

It's about being dishonest with your employer, who pay you to perform a role, not pay your to mind a child
Agree with this

If someone has a flexible role where their employer is happy for them to work entirely flexibly, happy for meetings to be interrupted by children/there's no meetings to be interrupted/meetings can be scheduled during the children's mornings at nursery etc, and the employee is a hard working employee who will use give and take reasonably (eg. Using evenings and weekends to ensure their hours are completed and tasks are to a good standard) then that's ok. Everyone is on the same page, there's clear expectations on all sides.

The OP seems to want to spend time with her baby whilst being paid to work, and doesn't want to go into her evenings and weekends. This sort of thing likely takes the piss. There's no way someone can work their allocated work hours to the required standards AND look after their baby AND have their evenings and weekends to themselves.

Most employers are not going to say "of course you can come back to work, be on full salary, spend large sections of your working day with your baby instead of working, and don't worry about making your hours up elsewhere because we understand you'd rather have free evenings and weekends".

JussathoB · 02/05/2023 18:26

Working while a young baby/toddler naps …. Probably having a nap for maybe 2 hours a day, possibly 3 but here you might be risking the sleep at night…….. , this is a long way short of most people’s working day

Mersini · 04/05/2023 02:22

Hey, I gave working from home a try for a couple of part-time days while taking care of my 9-month-old daughter. Unfortunately, it was a total disaster. I couldn't focus on work and my little one would cry during my calls and online meetings. I constantly felt guilty because I couldn't give her the attention and time she needed. It was driving me insane trying to juggle everything. My boss was pretty chill at first, but after two months of this madness, he ended up letting me go. Honestly, I wouldn't recommend doing this. Even though childcare can be super expensive, it's better for everyone's sanity if you can work and take care of your kiddos separately.

Imabadmummy · 04/05/2023 08:53

A 3 month old is full time work.

Personally I feel like my kids were like 5/6 years old before they became "part time" work. Even then I couldn't have worked from home and cared for them. (I did actually work from home pre covid evenings & weekends when my DH could look after the kids & I focused on work).
No way I could have done 7.5 hours work the same time as looking after a baby or even a toddler (who is mobile & in to everything) everyday.

I think you will burn out really quick.
You either need to only work 3 days you have childcare or pay for the other 2.

Also, if you can afford it, take longer maternity leave or go part time for a while and spend that time with your baby.

MadamPia · 28/08/2023 19:19

Everyone is bringing lockdown into this. The biggest difference between lockdown and now is that you couldn’t go out, you couldn’t visit family etc.

I think wait and see how your baby behaves. Also they change every week when they are that young.

I agree this is ambitions. When I had my daughter I took the full maternity leave but went back to uni and got a first class honours. How? I lived at home and it meant I had my mum around and wasn’t solely responsible. When my mum had to work, my baby slept about 2 hours at a time and I remember writing essays and catching up with everything during this time.

I must say, work is a little different. If you have an assistant you can rely on and your work can be done over small chunks of time, there is hope. But I’d highly recommend having at least a few hours of childcare when you are working so that you can lock yourself in a room and concentrate. Or work evenings, but again you would have to be in a situation where you are transparent with your employer.

If you can keep your work to part time on the days you have childcare that could be ideal.

stepMummY1 · 28/08/2023 20:45

ZOMBIE THREAD

Poppyblush · 29/08/2023 06:11

You can’t wfh and look after a baby.

WandaWonder · 29/08/2023 06:25

No one should be working from home in sole care of a child at the same time, own your own business or work for yourself fine

It is not fair on the employer or baby

bruffin · 29/08/2023 08:42

WandaWonder · 29/08/2023 06:25

No one should be working from home in sole care of a child at the same time, own your own business or work for yourself fine

It is not fair on the employer or baby

Nonsense
Did it for 11 years starting when Ds was 2 and Dd was 6 weeks.
I was doing 20 hours a week and worked at all hours. Ds went to nursery 2 days and dd started when she was 2 .
It worked fine, but i did have a few 4ams. They were happy just as long as deadlines were met. DC are 26 and 28 now and i very rarely had to use child care in school holidays.

SirChenjins · 29/08/2023 12:14

It’s not nonsense at all. If you can work your hours around your children and your deadlines are flexible then fine, but if you work regular, fixed hours then you cannot work effectively with childcare responsibilities.

bruffin · 29/08/2023 13:42

SirChenjins · 29/08/2023 12:14

It’s not nonsense at all. If you can work your hours around your children and your deadlines are flexible then fine, but if you work regular, fixed hours then you cannot work effectively with childcare responsibilities.

I was replying to someone who said you cant do, it is doable. Everyone has different circumstances so nobody can so WandaWonder cannot say nobody should do is nonsense.

I did it because my boss suggested it, he was a great understanding man thankfully. My dc really benefited from me being at home and not spending 2 hours a day commuting .

SirChenjins · 29/08/2023 13:57

I know who you were replying to. My point still stands - if you have regular fixed hours then you can’t wfh with small children.

Doris86 · 29/08/2023 15:45

My advice - Don’t.

bruffin · 29/08/2023 17:17

SirChenjins · 29/08/2023 13:57

I know who you were replying to. My point still stands - if you have regular fixed hours then you can’t wfh with small children.

Not everyone has fixed hours, i did when i was in office but when i wfh they let me work when i was able , just as long as i met deadlines. They cared more about output than bums on seats

bryceQ · 29/08/2023 18:10

I did it too. Around 16 hours per week spread over 7 days when my son slept or I was making social posts on my phone during feeds. I found it very do-able but it really depends what your job is and the nature of your baby.

SirChenjins · 29/08/2023 18:21

bruffin · 29/08/2023 17:17

Not everyone has fixed hours, i did when i was in office but when i wfh they let me work when i was able , just as long as i met deadlines. They cared more about output than bums on seats

Show quote history

I know everyone doesn’t have fixed hours - my post makes that clear. However not every job is about output either - it can’t be done at 4am if the office is open from 9-5 with client facing work between those times for example.

If you have a job that doesn’t require you to be at your desk during core business hours, and you have complete autonomy, and you have others who can deal with others if you are on a call etc etc etc then yes, wfh is possible. If not then wfh is not a childcare option.

SirChenjins · 29/08/2023 18:21

*Deal with childcare

Doris86 · 29/08/2023 19:40

Most of us who were forced to work from home with children during lockdown still have nightmares about it. If you care about your child, job, and your own sanity just don’t do it.

marmaladeandpeanutbutter · 31/08/2023 22:49

Not a hope this can work out.

missfliss · 01/09/2023 07:13

In a fixed hours job that relies on regular interaction and meetings and deliverables to other people - not a hope. 100% not doable.

Amazingly fluid job with no meetings and deliverables that can be fully flexed - maybe ( but would guess incredibly hard).

My honest advice?

Don't.

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