Working from home with baby - Advice

[Gem2x87]

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

My first baby didn't nap anywhere but my arms or a moving vehicle for the first 8 months of his life, and even after that it was for a maximum of 30 minutes at a time. He was a very high needs baby and cried constantly whenever he was put down unless I was actively entertaining him. So with him it would been impossible to work for even five minutes unless there was someone else there to look after him.

It is feasible, I did it 25 years ago. I worked 20 hours a week as an assistant accountant. I worked when DC were asleep . DS went to nursery for 2 days a week and I only did 6 weeks maternity leave. DD was a really calm and happy baby and slept really well. I did a few 4ams for deadlines etc
DD went to nursery herself 2 days a week when she was 2. I carried working from for 8 years!
All my boss cared about was me getting the job done and on deadline and it was up to me when i actually worked

I went back to work at 3 months and I'm in the UK. Most nurseries start at 3 months.

She might feel differently when her baby is born but she also might not. A long maternity leave isn't for everyone.

Does your employer offer any form of flexibility - eg compressed hours so you could work 8-6 four days a week and then have the fifth day off? That way your baby would only be in childcare 1 day a week.

My baby's nursery has an app which includes pictures and videos. Not constant of course but it is nice to see what he's up to and how happy he always looks.

Maybe not literally but it's what WFH has shown and most companies are pretty easy with working now. Actually at my last company someone came back off maternity leave and was doing childcare wfh and they were fine about it. My new company is more flexible than they are I would say as they're pretty new and don't have the bureaucracy that my last one did. They want collaboration hence the 3 days in the office but management is very informal and laid back. I am a team of 1 with no formal scheduled meetings at the moment. I didn't really put in the post but should have that I was only really considering it for the baby until they were 1 y old. It doesn't really sound that possible even for a small baby from what I read but I'm surprised by all of the sarcasm and judgement from people for someone who hasn't even given birth yet thinking about organising child care for 9 months time.

It's very very difficult when you wfh with a child. I've wfh for about 10 years and I'd never even entertain doing it with a child any younger than a teen. Even then it can be difficult when after school clubs or ferrying to friends during holidays come into play.

If you're not customer facing and don't need to be on hand during the day then I guess you could work in the evening. But babies don't tend to have routines that allow you to work. Waking every few hours for a feed or interaction doesn't leave you with lots of time to sleep and work. There's a reason parents take 9 to 12 months off work. It allows them to parent a young child at all hours and not have to work after little to no sleep

You'd get sacked from my job (civil service) for trying to combine work and childcare.

It's not fair on work or the baby or yourself

You cannot work feasibly with a baby there. Looking after a 3 month baby is a full time task. The only spare time you might have is when they nap which isn’t long enough to fit a full working day in, I’d have thought.

And it only gets harder when they get bigger and are crawling, walking etc.

Two days work from home means wxactly that- work not childcare with a bit work squeezed in. There's no way an employer would be fine with that, even a laidback one.

Congrats on the pregnancy and good luck on your return to work

When my DC were at nursery we had constant pics and journal updates all day long. They even told me how many nappies they went through!

Don't write off nursery. They do videos and all sorts.

Once they're in Yr R it's a shock to not know anything about their day! 😊

Sorry should have tagged you OP @Gem2x87 x

Hi OP, I had to do this during Covid trying to juggle with my husband also WFH. I managed to do 1-2 hours during the working day and had to do the rest overnight to catch up before the next day - that's 5 or 6 hours every day in my evenings and nights. It was horrific.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! As a first time mum who has just gone back to work, I can honestly advise that it would be nigh on impossible to do justice to your job and being a parent trying to combine doing both at the same time. My husband had our little boy at home whilst I was working at half term and just the noise of him being in the house was a major distraction. If they are super flexible and would allow you to work Amy our days at night or over the weekend that might work but I think you’d find it exhausting. Trying to run a house, work and look after a little on is hard work.

It depends on a lot of things
The nature of your work
How often you'd need meetings
Temperament of your baby
Whether they respond well to routine

I worked around 3 hours a day around my son from young but I was freelance so if it wasn't happening that day I could do it another day. No pressure. And very few meetings.

As for working evenings and weekends to catch up on work

that is going to be effectively two whole working days to squeeze in

baby may not reliably sleep in the evenings
will still need fed/bathed
do you really want to spend your weekends working?

I think you really need childcare.

My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up Gee whizz @Gem2x87 you don't want much do you?

I’ve worked from home throughout my childrens lives and I have not used childcare. I’ve worked at home with a newborn, with a toddler, with a newborn and a toddler, and with a newborn, toddler and older child.

I stopped working at home when I changed my job after lockdown decimated my industry.

But I worked for myself, I had no employer to manage, and I didn’t take maternity leaves (or only a few weeks each time).

Paid childcare was utterly out of the question with my first as there was no cash to pay for it, and very little childcare is actually available for 2 week old babies. Once you get used to working around the kids it becomes normal.

have to say I do now enjoy working out of the house again and the separation of home and work is easier mentally.

But I don’t regret working at home with the kids as babies, toddlers, young kids. You do what you have to do.

I struggle to send one email when my baby's at home

It doesn't work. We had someone leave because she was told she needed to get childcare for her kids, it wasn't working for the company. She needed to be available during the day, late at night wasn't helpful. Thankfully they've replaced her now and it's made it a lot better for the team.

Head of HR here. We wouldn’t allow it. As someone who’s had a child I understand 100% why not.
You need full time childcare.

I also was planning on doing this, but it's just impossible even with a really easy baby. I envisioned them just lying in a moses basket next to me while I worked. It's nothing like that. They need you almost constantly. And when they nap it's barely enough time to get the house in a bit of order and squeeze a rest in for yourself.

I think they'd be ok with it. I really just wanted to get a feel for how possible it is to work with a baby and I'm getting the impression not at all. Thanks for your comment 😊

Absolutely not! Unless you plan to do all your work at home during the night when your child is asleep - hopefully - then thinking you can work during the day is plain wrong, and possibly neglectful.

I don’t have a lot of exposure to babies either, but even I know you that can’t look after a newborn and work at the same time. At work you need what, 7 hours of uninterrupted time? A baby can’t give you that as they can’t fend for themselves, you’ll need to meet all of the baby’s needs whilst simultaneously your 7 hours of work obligations. Common sense will tell you that something has to give- you either neglect your child or get paid for not doing your job.

I would say working from home and looking after the kids only works once your kids are old enough to be left unattended.