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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
AwkwardPaws27 · 28/04/2023 16:09

I probably could have got some work done at 3 months during nap time, albeit with baby asleep in a sling as he only contact napped. Not sure it would have been very productive though as the sleep deprivation was hard, & there was no guarantee that he'd nap for a set time so meetings wouldn't be possible, but I could have done some very basic admin/data entry type stuff.

He's now 10 months, crawling & cruising, and not a hope in hell. I need to literally be in arms reach at all times unless he's in the playpen (& he won't just play there quietly while I do stuff, its a couple of minutes while I go for a wee/throw together a meal for him).

simplicity2023 · 28/04/2023 16:09

I think a lot of first-time parents go in starry eyed. But when the baby arrives, they get their wakeup call 😂

golden1989 · 28/04/2023 16:10

Sorry, but you can't.

Lemondrizzlerain · 28/04/2023 16:12

My friends colleague did this and the quality of her work went down hill fast.

She was asked to find childcare or find a new part time job. She found childcare and eventually left anyway as she became overwhelmed with paranoia that her work wasn't good enough (as everyone had been discussing her work for months!)

FancyCurtains · 28/04/2023 16:15

LadyDanburysHat · 28/04/2023 15:27

I hate posts like this. It is why many employers don't like working form home, because people take the piss. If you are working from home, you are still working, you arrange childcare as if you were in the office.

Agreed. And it gives working parents a bad name.

If my employee or colleague did this I would be really annoyed.

wordler · 28/04/2023 16:19

It will be possible but it is horribly hard and you'll probably find you end up not enjoying either work and time with the baby.

I did it part-time with my DD at home and never had any childcare until she went to pre-school. the newborn period until they start to walk is probably the easiest time because they sleep a lot. So if you are very organised you'd be able to work in those periods but it takes a lot of will power and concentration and is quite exhausting.

One option (if you've got the kind of job that isn't tied to set hours) is to use the extra time that working from home gives you to get your work done in two stretches while DH is still at home in the morning and there in the evening.

So get up early and work from say 5.30-8.30 (or whenever DH needs to get ready to go to work.

Then work during a naptime mid day - 1.5 hours if you are lucky

Then when DH comes home he's with the baby again and you work from 6.30=9.30pm

You can see it won't be much fun for you and DH for a while.

TeaAndTwoSugars · 28/04/2023 16:21

It's not possible sorry, you will understand when the baby arrives.

Srin · 28/04/2023 16:23

I completed a post grad course when I was on maternity leave. I had a lot of support from my DH and parents with proof reading, childcare and house admin. I also had to work a lot at weekends (when DH was around) and at night when I had longer chunks of time to work. Once babies start moving, they really go for it and love to pull everything out and smear stuff around so you can’t concentrate on much else. I don’t know how parents managed wfh during covid with very young children.

imjusthereforAIBU · 28/04/2023 16:24

There was a recent thread (month or so ago) very similar to this and everyone replied and piled onto the OP about how "absolutely no way can you work from home with a baby.. it's dangerous (you can't supervise properly), you won't get your work done, you'll do a bad job of parenting AND work, your company won't like it"... and then the OP had to ask for the chat to be removed.

I hope OP you don't feel like we're all piling on here. Anyone working a "desk" job in 2020 with kids tried this and it was a disaster for most of us. Really bloody hard work and I did a bad job of everything basically for months and months. I want to be positive for you but I don't think it is possible to work from home well and parent a child even with a very flexible job.

My suggestion however would be if your mum is willing to help you out, you could work from home with your mum there too. Your mum becomes your childs carer - watching them to keep them safe, doing nappy changes, playing with them etc. And you are there working away from baby locked away in another room. You can then easily take 5 - 10 min breaks throughout the day to spend little snips of time with baby and be "around" but not be the sole carer. If you don't want baby to go into childcare all week, I'd suggest trying this to start. It will also help you see how needy your baby is vs your workload/working style and what mixes of childcare might work in the future.

Teddypops · 28/04/2023 16:25

Bibbetybobbity · 28/04/2023 16:08

No chance is this real….

Agreed

wordler · 28/04/2023 16:25

I had no maternity provision (in the US and was working as a contractor not employee) so I took four weeks unpaid leave and then did 20 hours a week while looking after my DD.

I didn't have set hours and had to deliver projects to deadlines but could manage my own time.

If you have that sort of job it is possible, but you'll have to stretch yourself very thin to make sure you are doing a good job at both.

I wouldn't do it again if I had other options.

moleeye · 28/04/2023 16:26

It is nigh on impossible.

I struggle to look after my 4 year old and work on the odd occasion he's poorly and has to stay home.

My 9 year old is pretty self sufficient and even she'll come in and ask things invariably when I'm on a video call.

Sort out childcare, I cannot stress this point enough

WolfFoxHare · 28/04/2023 16:27

motleymop · 28/04/2023 15:41

This reminds me of how I thought I was going to retrain whilst on maternity leave!! I had no clue what was about to hit me!

I was going to write a book 😂😂

Quitelikeit · 28/04/2023 16:29

Gosh you’d think some of the people on this thread were paying your wages!

Truth is you won’t know until you have your baby and see how they are. Some may sleep a lot, some don’t.

I admit your plan is a tad ambitious but I certainly don’t blame you for wondering about the possibility

mynameiscalypso · 28/04/2023 16:30

I remember having to do one document when DS was about 3 months. All I needed to do was basically copy and paste from one thing to another and top and tail it. It was a 30 min job max. Took me about 3 days to do.

Seasonofthewitch83 · 28/04/2023 16:32

Hi OP

I tried to use KIT days to cover taking minutes for meetings when DD was 3 months old and it was a fucking disaster.

I also tried to juggle covering sickness from nursery with also working at home and I was so stressed I cried. It isnt possible - sorry. You really cannot do both.

mynameiscalypso · 28/04/2023 16:35

I also think it's really important that childcare (in the broadest terms) is seen as a job. It's why we should make sure childcare workers get paid more than minimum wage and we should respect the job that anyone who looks after a small child does (because it's a bit shit at times). The view that you can work and look after a baby at the same time does them no favours by reducing the importance of their work.

Letsdance8188 · 28/04/2023 16:36

Myself and other parents I know were on the verge of a breakdown trying to wfh with babies and children during covid lockdowns so I agree with everyone else here and would say it's a bad idea. Also at 3 months old a lot of babies don't sleep much at night so you'll be juggling work and a baby on top of exhaustion.

On the flip side, our employer does allow wfh with a child on the odd occasion when there's no other option - such as the odd day here and there during school holidays when we're struggling to juggle it, if our child is unwell or childcare is unexpectedly closed. So there is some flexibility but never as a permanent arrangement.

BritishDesiGirl · 28/04/2023 16:44

@Quitelikeit

Do babies just sleep then? What about feeding, changing nappies, crying. If they just slept obviously it would be a problem 🙄

MadeofCheeese · 28/04/2023 16:45

My baby has just gone through a 4 week phase of refusing to be put down, at all.
Not in a bouncer, not on the floor, not on the sofa, not in her high chair.
It has been so difficult.
Working would have been impossible.
I would get on a daycare list sooner rather than later if I were you.

SouthLondonMum22 · 28/04/2023 16:45

I work from home the majority of the time and also went back to work full time at 3 months. My baby is 4 months now and goes to nursery full time.

I have an easy, laid back baby who sleeps well. He would still miss out if he stayed at home with me because it wouldn't be good, quality time I spend with him.

Remember, it's about quality not quantity. I still spend plenty of quality time with him, just not when I'm working.

StillWantingADog · 28/04/2023 16:46

Congratulations
once baby is here you’ll realise it won’t be feasible at all!

atomickitty · 28/04/2023 16:48

My employer’s WFH explicitly states that we cannot be responsible for the care of a child during work time, either as a regular thing or in an emergency. I work for a large public sector org that is pretty good for work/life balance and parents’ rights.

During covid the policy was loosened out of necessity. It was easy to tell who was trying to work while looking after kids, they were managing a fraction of what they did before. In the circumstances we all pulled together and got the work covered since it was an impossible situation, but it wouldn’t fly now.

StillWantingADog · 28/04/2023 16:49

Bibbetybobbity · 28/04/2023 16:08

No chance is this real….

I totally think it is. She hasn’t had the baby yet. In future she will know how unrealistic this is.

Happyhappyday · 28/04/2023 16:53

You won’t actually be spending time with your baby though, because you will be working. So you’ll either be ignoring your job or your children. I work at a very relaxed company and one of my colleagues did this, she was forever having to pop off to feed or because baby was crying, being on mute in meetings so she couldn’t contribute etc. She did an ok job but a lot of us with children were pretty resentful that we were paying full whack for childcare (in my case over £3k/month) so we could actually be present at work and having to put up with her reducing everyone’s efficiency and wasting our time.

If you have 8 hours a day of work to get done, you’ll say get maybe 4 broken hours done during nap times, assuming you have a baby who actually sleeps in their crib quietly at nap time, then you will need to make up the other 4 hours after bedtime/when your partner is home. Do you will lose out on any free time for yourself or time with your partner, because you will also likely be ready to pass out by 9 because there is a good chance you kid will have some night feeds. You may have PND, insomnia, a baby with colic.

If you want more time, suggest you get a nanny on your WFH days so you can spend time at lunch and not have to waste time on the nursery run.