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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
CareBearScare123 · 28/04/2023 15:54

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Lindy2 · 28/04/2023 15:55

Until you actually have a baby it's really difficult to understand quite how challenging it is yo get anything else done while looking after them.

It will be very difficult to work unless you have childcare in place. I doubt your employer would really be happy for you to work while looking after your baby. Most employers specifically state you must have childcare in place to WFH.

ToWonderWhyIBother · 28/04/2023 15:55

If you want to know how relaxed your Company will be with you doing childcare whilst working from home for days, why don't you suggest doing the childcare in your office for the 3 days you will be working there.

I would not look favourably on any of my colleagues who would suggest this as I know that I would have to pick up the slack.

I have been a working parent twice with a huge gap in between and have the emergency sick days with important meetings at work, but you have to make a decision.

You get paid to do a job, your work do not pay you to be your own childcare.

Arrange for the nursery/childminder to cover the full 5 days it will be easier on you and your Company in the long run.

Lcb123 · 28/04/2023 15:55

"My company would probably be quite relaxed about it"

You're being quite presumptuous about this, at best surely it's frowned upon as a regular arrangement, and at worst, it's a sackable offence. If you're working, you need childcare - it's not fair on your baby. Or work part time.

MrMarkham · 28/04/2023 15:55

Big nope, you won't get anything done. And if you don't tell your company and they find out, are you sure it isn't gross misconduct? I mean you could ask I suppose and then make up the time at the weekends but you'll basically be working all Saturday and Sunday to make it up.

Squamata · 28/04/2023 15:56

Lols. Not a chance! It's really hard to understand what it's like living with a baby before you have one - do you know anyone with a young baby you can hang out with to learn a bit more, it might help inform your plans?

No judgment but going back at 3 months is earlier than most mums in the UK - for good reason. Do you live somewhere where you have to go back that soon? If not, keep an open mind about when you want to return.

At 3 months I was not capable of returning to work with either of my kids. Sleep deprivation, recovery from birth, readjustment etc - if I'd somehow managed to make it to a desk I would have been no use at doing actual work. Plus I'd have missed my baby terribly. I know women do it, but it's more often through lack of choice rather than preference.

Sleep deprivation with a new baby is not just like having a few late nights, it makes it hard to function beyond the basics of getting through the day. You might luck out and have a good sleeper, but almost certainly not.

Lapland123 · 28/04/2023 15:57

I reckon you can wfh with some breaks to have with your child but from aged about 8 years onwards. Not before this really.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 28/04/2023 15:57

Haha!

You cannot 'work' and look after a baby.

You will do both your work and baby an injustice. It's not possible. Sorry if that isn't the answer you wanted

TheMoops · 28/04/2023 15:58

You can't work at home with a baby or very young child. It's not fair on your child or your employer.

Quveas · 28/04/2023 15:58

LadyDanburysHat · 28/04/2023 15:27

I hate posts like this. It is why many employers don't like working form home, because people take the piss. If you are working from home, you are still working, you arrange childcare as if you were in the office.

Exactly.

OP, if you want to spend more time with your child, then that is called working part-time, not working from home.

Blarn · 28/04/2023 16:00

All the advice you will get will be: "don't".

Don't do it, its awful. Get childcare and enjoy spending time with your baby at the weekends.

TravellingJack · 28/04/2023 16:00

You may already be too late in one sense, OP - many nurseries and childminders are full as people register with them for places very early on, so they may not have spaces available for months if not years. It sounds like you plan to go back after Christmas, so start looking (and booking!) now.

In my area, if you wanted your child to start nursery at approx 1yo, you'd need to have put their potential name down (and paid a non-refundable deposit) when you were about 20wks pregnant or earlier - so possibly before you even have the anomaly scan. I am not joking... I had to do this with DD because I knew how long the waiting lists were, especially for the baby room with low ratios, and we needed specific days. Filling in the form with the sex (don't know yet), date of birth (tbc) and name (one of these if it's a girl, one of those if it's a boy) would have been funny if not for the stress!

As for wfh with a small baby... yeah, that might work 10% of the time if you are extremely lucky. Don't create stress for yourself by trying to do it. Look into working compressed hours (5 days into 4) if you want an extra day at home with your baby.

Squamata · 28/04/2023 16:01

There's a reason why you pay a nanny. Because looking after a baby is an actual job. Thinking you can do childcare and work at the same time is like thinking you can do two jobs at once, only one of those jobs is 24 hours and involves barely sleeping

Luredbyapomegranate · 28/04/2023 16:01

Haha.

Not on your Nelly. You need childcare for every day you work.

3 months is early to go back full time - it is certainly not impossible, but you will need to be organised, and have plenty of support to keep yourself in one piece and childcare should be no. 1 on your list.

cannaecookrisotto · 28/04/2023 16:01

It's not what you want to hear but it's just not feasible at all. It's so difficult. I was forced to do it during lockdown and she was 4. I nearly had a nervous breakdown.

She's 6 now and I WFH majority of the week. I still use paid childcare because it's not fair on her, or my employer to juggle both.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 28/04/2023 16:01

What a cheek. Your employer will be paying you to work. Not to spend time with your baby.

user1496146479 · 28/04/2023 16:02

TheNachtzehrer · 28/04/2023 15:30

Here we fucking go again.

You can't do it. You'll do a shit job as a parent and a shit job as an employee and it'll quite possibly get you fired.

This with bells on!
I can manage a day or so juggling this, but only by working in the evenings or weekends to keep up! Unless you have a really simple easy job, where you are not at full capacity this will not work

Fleur405 · 28/04/2023 16:02

As one of the many people who had to do this during lockdown I can tell you that it’s completely shit and you need to have childcare for your working days.

user1496146479 · 28/04/2023 16:03

DoesItHaveKosovo · 28/04/2023 15:38

Anyone who had to do this in lockdown is rolling their eyes so hard.

Oh yes!! WinkWink

Fupoffyagrasshole · 28/04/2023 16:04

yeah one day a week husband and I tag team the day - as there is no space in my daughters nursery that day at the moment

I get up at 6am and work from 6 - 10am and then swap with husband and he works 10 - 5.30

I work during the nap from 12 - 2

and i then need to jump back on for at least an hour when husband finishes

It's crap tbh - i find it a very stressful day and im keeping an eye on emails and stuff while spending the day with her - so it's not quality time at all

as soon as there's space at nursery she is going there instead.

I take another day in the week off and we have our proper day together then.

It is impossible to do any work with a baby in the house

WedTheBed · 28/04/2023 16:05

Going against the grain here to say it totally depends on the job and the workload/type of work.

I work from home with my now 1 year old and have done since he’s been born. My job is mainly emailing, with some short (2-5) minute calls throughout it the day. My employers are very relaxed, know I have my child home while I work and encourage me to take breaks here and then if and when I need to. I have to say I know I am in a minority and I’m extremely lucky to have the employers I do. - but I am proof that they do exist
so there is no harm in asking as long as you know you can still provide and care for baby, while working and getting it done.

clients often ask if I’m working from home if they can here him babbling away in the background - but no one had ever had an issue and I’ve had a lot of clients say it’s refreshing to hear (?!)

simplicity2023 · 28/04/2023 16:05

It's not possible, believe me.

I have two small children. They napped during the days as babies, but the naps were never long.

They wanted to be entertained for hours at a time, be held, fed, changed, rocked to sleep. You also have to factor in that a lot of babies cry for an extensive amount of the time during the day, for no reason whatsoever.

FoolsOld · 28/04/2023 16:06

FFS. Why do stupid people keep posting stupid posts like this?!

Sugargliderwombat · 28/04/2023 16:07

I have a six month old. You can't work with them at home.

Bibbetybobbity · 28/04/2023 16:08

No chance is this real….