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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
PurBal · 28/04/2023 15:38

This question has been asked over and over. It’s not possible to be both a good parent and a good employee. You need childcare.

mischlerischler · 28/04/2023 15:40

Impossible.

Either take a longer maternity leave or find a childcare.

You can't give your attention to both at the same time, so either your work or baby will suffer.

And to be fair I would be upset if my co worker did that - and that comes from someone who is also pregnant with their first child.

eldorado02 · 28/04/2023 15:40

Check your contract or employee handbook - mine says employees must have childcare in place when WFH. And this is a good thing, as you’d be doing your job and baby a disservice by not being focussed on either.

motleymop · 28/04/2023 15:41

This reminds me of how I thought I was going to retrain whilst on maternity leave!! I had no clue what was about to hit me!

SainsBrie · 28/04/2023 15:42

Don’t do it. Lockdown with a 18 month old almost killed me. WFH with a toddler is hell on earth.

Reugny · 28/04/2023 15:43

motleymop · 28/04/2023 15:41

This reminds me of how I thought I was going to retrain whilst on maternity leave!! I had no clue what was about to hit me!

My DP thought he was going to get through lots of reading while on shared parental leave and do a couple of online courses.....

I simply rolled my eyes.

Though not as much as a few years earlier when I found out what a male acquaintance planned to do when his twins were born...

Anyway neither father did what they planned.

BHRK · 28/04/2023 15:44

Working from home with young children is an absolute nightmare, trust me. The work doesn’t get done or the child is left crying/fussing. Don’t underestimate the impact of sleep deprivation either. Sort childcare, it’s the only way

Gizlotsmum · 28/04/2023 15:44

Dependant on your work type you could donut but you would be sacrificing evenings and weekends to catch up. Baby may sleep but as soon as they start moving you will struggle to focus ( not the same but we have just got a puppy and sometimes even that is impossible) I can work from home now with my kids but the youngest is 11 and even then he still sometimes forgets and interrupts!

purplepencilcase · 28/04/2023 15:46

My advice? Don't even think about it. Sorry but it's not fair in you, the baby or the employer.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 28/04/2023 15:46

People like you are the reason there won't be equality for women for a long time. Why the fuck do you think your employer should pay for you to spend more time with your baby?

Reugny · 28/04/2023 15:47

How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Ok OP I'm going to answer your question seriously.

From 3 months when you go back to work.

Snaaaaacks · 28/04/2023 15:48

I work ft from home, I returned from mat leave when my youngest was 9 months, I have had my parents come to our house and look after them, I was/am still breastfeeding so I was able to pop down and breastfeed if needed but I wasn't taking care of them. It'd be impossible to work and look after a baby yourself. I'm not sure what you imagine having a baby is like but there is no way what you are suggesting would work if you have a ft job where you are required to attend meetings/deliver work on time. You'll end up doing a shit job all round as a parent and an employee.

underneaththeash · 28/04/2023 15:49

You can’t work with a 3 month old at home (that’s why 99% women have a longer maternity leave.)

MagicSpring · 28/04/2023 15:49

We were all this naive once.

You need childcare for your actual working hours.

What you can reduce is the childcare to cover your commute, which can help.

I also used to get another hour or so in once the (nicely knackered from seeing other children) baby went to sleep for once in the afternoon/evenings.

theleafandnotthetree · 28/04/2023 15:49

I did an online CPD type course while on maternity leave with my first and some work in preparation for my PhD Viva which was on when my baby was 11 weeks old. So it is possible to do something in some cases but with the following provisos: you can be very flexible about when the work is done, you have a very undemanding baby who is in a great routine, you yourself feel well and positive and your boss and colleagues are aware of and happy with it. That's a lot of hurdles to get across, few of which you have control over. While the whole 'I didn't even have time to shower' may not always be the case, what you are proposing is on the other end of the spectrum and very unrealistic, especially as an employee rather than a self employed person.

LillyLane5 · 28/04/2023 15:50

Honestly it won't work!

In lockdown I was absolutely loosing my MIND my dc was 3 and rightly so wanted care and attention and my job was absolutely mental then.

Even now she's so much older it's a tricky balance if she's ever home and I am working

Also, if I was in a meeting and someone had to stop what they were doing to tend to a baby I would be irritated

weightymatters73 · 28/04/2023 15:50

We now have a rule in place that with children under 12 people need to show proof they have childcare if they would like to work from home.

Frankly that has forestalled every request....

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 28/04/2023 15:50

A nanny at home would be perfect for this.

summerlovingvibes · 28/04/2023 15:51

I could probably get 2 hours work done per day with my baby aged 3 months onwards, and that's would be during her total nap time, if I didn't go out at all for a walk for naps / and didn't rest myself.

Absolutely no chance, if you manage to get your baby napping not on you then you'll want time to yourself, not working.

And as for when baby is awake.... change, feed, play, change, feed, soothe screaming fit, carry around and try and do washing one handed, feel excited when you get 2 seconds for a wee and ecstatic if you get a shower.

Good luck with the baby but no chance of the work. Either go back 3 days a week or do childcare x

BritishDesiGirl · 28/04/2023 15:51

You won't be working OP. A baby that young needs you 24/7.

Will you really be ready to go back to work after three months? What about your own health and wellbeing?

Jusmakingit · 28/04/2023 15:51

I have a 12 week old , shes become very clingy (which is common around the 3-4 month mark apparently), wakes up from naps over the littlest noise , i am trying to resit some gcse's so trying to revise and learn and its just not happening. I am having to resort to doing it late at night when the house is quiet, husband takes baby up to bed and i stay up later. I could not even imagine trying to actually do a job and have her with me at home. Babies after a couple of months dont sleep as much as you would think, my first slept like a log for a few hours at a time but this one, shes a cat napper. Its just luck of the draw.

I also have her lined up for nursery when im back at work in september. I had to secure that space last october , so nearly a year in advance. were i live good nurseries are far and few between, if you havent got one sorted i suggest looking now. September is the best intake as thats when children go up a year at school and nursery but half way through the year you will struggle.

TokyoSushi · 28/04/2023 15:52

There is honestly no way that you can do it, just think about it practically for a minute. Think that you have a one hour meeting and it's not the baby's nap time, or they won't go down. Where would you put the baby for an hour? How would you keep it quiet? You literally wouldn't be able to. It simply doesn't work. This was one of the main reasons that lockdown was absolutely horrific.

RedTulipsSpring · 28/04/2023 15:53

DoesItHaveKosovo · 28/04/2023 15:38

Anyone who had to do this in lockdown is rolling their eyes so hard.

Yup. I asked to go unpaid as couldn’t be furloughed but not considered a key worker (go figure). It was one of the darkest times of my life.

I also strongly believe it’s not fair on the children to be sidelined all day.

Lolacat1234 · 28/04/2023 15:53

As someone who's done it over Covid with no other choice - as I'm sure many others on this thread have - I'm telling you it's simply not possible to be successful at this! You will end up feeling like a shit mum and shit at your job at the same time. Not only that and I don't usually sit on the employers side but really it's not fair on your employer. They are paying you to work not look after your baby and try to do some work on the side. I love working from home but my child is in nursery 4 days a week wether I'm WFH or not, hopefully you can get some childcare and enjoy the peace and quiet of working from home, I'm always way more productive at home than when I go into the office. Sorry to be such a downer on it but honestly it just doesn't work. My daughter had a week of runny tummy about a month ago and I had to work from home with her as had no other choice and it was absolutely awful, for her and me. Not fair on the child either x

summerlovingvibes · 28/04/2023 15:54

Oh and not to mention the 7 clothes changes between me, the toddler and the baby already today thanks to poo and sick....

You'll be kept rather busy 😂