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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
Florissant · 01/05/2023 10:04

NatashaDancing · 01/05/2023 09:45

Can you really not see the difference between writing your PhD and being in the commercial, working world?

Show quote history

Apparently not.

Maireas · 01/05/2023 10:08

I think you have a point, @dishyrishi and @Stripedbag101 - it's women's jobs that are impacted.
I do think men's work is less affected.

SEMPA1234567 · 01/05/2023 10:17

I’m pregnant with my 5th child and work 18 hours a week from home (with child care). I’d say it really depends on what type of work you do and how flexible your employer is. If they’ll let you make time up in the evening and at weekends then it could work so worth a try. I think you’d mainly be working when they sleep so you’re hours working could be short and all over the place. I don’t think you’d be able to guarantee you’d be available for things at set times on those days, meetings, phone calls etc. Worth a try, if it doesn’t work out then you’d have to arrange childcare/reduce your hours. Good luck!

Blogswife · 01/05/2023 10:28

As a very easy going , family friendly & flexible Manager - I wouldn’t allow this
Its really not possible to give your job 100% focus whilst dealing with a baby - and vice versa
You might not think it now but wait until baby arrives
You really need to find childcare while you are working , you will need the break !

Florissant · 01/05/2023 10:31

Maireas · 01/05/2023 10:08

I think you have a point, @dishyrishi and @Stripedbag101 - it's women's jobs that are impacted.
I do think men's work is less affected.

There's no such thing as "women's jobs" andd "men's work". There are jobs that men and women do and very few are determined by one's sex.

Stripedbag101 · 01/05/2023 10:33

Florissant · 01/05/2023 10:31

There's no such thing as "women's jobs" andd "men's work". There are jobs that men and women do and very few are determined by one's sex.

Show quote history

Kindly - I think you have misread this! The poster meant jobs women happen to have because it’s mostly women who attempt this!

so jobs belonging to women not jobs that are only available to women (or are stereotyped as such).

TheMoops · 01/05/2023 10:38

It is not impossible, people managed during lockdown.

People didn't manage during lockdown though.

People coped because they had to. It's wasn't an ideal situation for anyone.

Maireas · 01/05/2023 10:40

Florissant · 01/05/2023 10:31

There's no such thing as "women's jobs" andd "men's work". There are jobs that men and women do and very few are determined by one's sex.

Show quote history

We aren't saying that.
We're saying that whatever work women do is impacted more because of childcare than whatever work men do.

Stripedbag101 · 01/05/2023 10:44

TheMoops · 01/05/2023 10:38

It is not impossible, people managed during lockdown.

People didn't manage during lockdown though.

People coped because they had to. It's wasn't an ideal situation for anyone.

And employers gave a huge amount of slack! We all expected people to disappear to do school work, appear in meetings holding babies, just disconnect as short notice.

it was a global emergency, no childcare was available so we all muddled through. In my sector people without kids did a lot extra because it simply wasn’t possible for people with kids to work the full hours. I was happy to do this - but wouldn’t cover permanently.

this shouldn’t be business as usual - and anyone who says it should is just no hers!

SprinkleRainbow · 01/05/2023 10:50

I'm not sure from that young an age but I work from home with my toddler everyday. I know others who do too however it massively depends on the job you do! And my employer is supportive of it.

Ideally I'd recommend not doing it as it can be stressful.

Tiredmama53 · 01/05/2023 11:13

I'd agree on childcare straight away. You'd be doing a poor job of your work and parenting and it just wouldn't be fair on the baby at all.

Maireas · 01/05/2023 11:26

SprinkleRainbow · 01/05/2023 10:50

I'm not sure from that young an age but I work from home with my toddler everyday. I know others who do too however it massively depends on the job you do! And my employer is supportive of it.

Ideally I'd recommend not doing it as it can be stressful.

What kind of work do you do?

LolaSmiles · 01/05/2023 12:01

it was a global emergency, no childcare was available so we all muddled through. In my sector people without kids did a lot extra because it simply wasn’t possible for people with kids to work the full hours. I was happy to do this - but wouldn’t cover permanently.
This.
Doing what was needed to muddle through a global crisis in lockdown is very different to business as usual and expecting colleagues and/or clients to accept an impact on service and productivity because someone doesn't want to make appropriate childcare arrangements.

Flexible working being more normalised is a positive to come from the pandemic, but it relies on people not taking the piss.

It's probably fine to use your flexibility to compress some hours, take a short lunch, do the school run and then work on admin whilst a 7-10 year old sits with the telly for an hour, but that's very different to providing all day care for a baby.

Maroon85 · 01/05/2023 12:07

TheMoops · 01/05/2023 10:38

It is not impossible, people managed during lockdown.

People didn't manage during lockdown though.

People coped because they had to. It's wasn't an ideal situation for anyone.

Exactly. Also companies accepted that less work would get done if people were looking after children full time, but there was no choice. To continue underperforming once childcare reopened because we didn't want to go back to paying for full time childcare would not have been acceptable

toobusymummy · 01/05/2023 12:23

I've worked from home with a baby - because I'm self employed - and I would NOT recommend it! It sounds like it should work but it doesn't 99% of the time, you are NOT going to prioritise a deadline if your baby is crying in the other room that's just a fact, and it only gets more difficult as each month goes by - I remember spending hours on a project, going to the loo, coming back to find a busy toddler had climbed up on my chair and basically wiped out hours of work (and yes, in hindsight I should have saved, screen locked, whatever but thats the point, in a normal work environment you don't have to think about protecting from a child!). Think of it this way, would it be practical, on a regular basis, to take your child into work with you? What would you boss say to that, would you get the same amount and quality of work done? Would your colleagues object to you constantly being distracted and any knock on effect this would have on them? WFH works great for the odd day - if you kiddo can't go into nursery/school because they're ill or you get called to pick them up, you can juggle for a day or two but as a normal part of your work week, I just wouldn't

TheseThree · 01/05/2023 16:08

Congratulations!

It really depends on your baby and your job. I’ve known people to pull it off for six months, for 15 months and to be scrambling for childcare last minute because they can’t pull it off at all.
If you can afford to potentially lose the fee, I’d choose a place and hold your spot. If you are able to pull it off, then give up your spot. If you have the money and can afford it, consider a nanny in home. You’ll get your work done and be able to see baby throughout the day.

adarkbarking · 01/05/2023 17:12

I suspect the only people who can successfully "work" from home are those who make and sell tat on Facebook and call it "running a business".

Pclare · 01/05/2023 17:21

I’m going to go against what everyone else has said here and say you can do it. I work 3 days in the office and 1 from home, probably my busiest day and I manage it, my baby is now 15 months so much easier and is able to entertain/feed herself and she naps for at least 2 hours per day. As long as your work are ok with it you can start earlier and finish later and then take more, shorter breaks in between. My work is pretty demanding so it’s not because I have an easy job that I am able to do it, although I will say my daughter is a really good and fairly easy to look after baby and plays on her own quite happily.

Pip244 · 01/05/2023 17:38

I return from Mat leave this month and have childcare for all my working hours but during Mat leave I’ve started to set up my own business, completed a course and lots of training using my LO’s nap times and once they’re in bed. I’ve never been more motivated and going against the grain here think there’s nearly always a way but it depends on your job, baby and employer!

Maireas · 01/05/2023 17:40

How demanding is your work, @Pclare ? Do you have to concentrate for periods, and what if your baby got upset about something and needed attention?

NoviceGardner · 01/05/2023 17:46

I had to do this in the first lockdown when the nurseries shut and I would say it was awful and pretty much impossible to do any work. My husband and I did half days each of solid work and half day trying to work around the baby and we were both so unproductive during that time. Our employers were understanding because of the covid situation of course but I would never ever do it again by choice. It felt like I was doing a bad job of both things, work and parenting!

3plusonekids · 01/05/2023 17:49

Honestly. The best thing to do is ask anyone you know, with a 3 month old/ had a baby if they can WFH for 2 days with them permanently. The answer will be a resounding no.
Whilst totally appreciating that until you have children, you have absolutely no idea what it takes, unfortunately.
I wish good luck.

LifesTooShortForYourNonsense · 01/05/2023 18:02

HAHAHAHAHHA No.

Lozois99 · 01/05/2023 18:10

No, looking after a baby really is a full time
job. Plus you will have been up all night. Mine didnt sleep through until 3. Thats 3 YEARS. Most dont sleep through for a long long time so you will be exhausted. You are massively underestimating how hard having a baby is, even a three month old. What if they are colicky? What if they refuse to be put down? What if they get ill? What if they are premature? Theres no contingency built into this plan

adarkbarking · 01/05/2023 18:11

my baby is now 15 months so much easier and is able to entertain/feed herself

I will say my daughter is a really good and fairly easy to look after baby and plays on her own quite happily

Do you not feel that you should be offering a 15 month old a bit more than that, @Pclare?

Just because something is possible, that doesn't mean it's desirable.