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Original poster

Working from home with baby - Advice

498 replies

Gem2x87 · 28/04/2023 15:19

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

OP posts:
thunderandsunshine01 · 30/04/2023 22:15

I have a similar arrangement with my work. Once a week I WFH with my 2yo &1yo. 2 days FT in office. The other 2 days are half days at nursery, so although technically those are WFH days I will often do the morning in the office just to show a bit more willing.
It’s very difficult but I imagine it is easier with a baby under a year as less mobile. Doable, as long as work are ok with it. Also my advice would be to know the flexibility works both ways, I do regularly work again a little in the evenings/weekend. Don’t give them a reason to question your commitment and working hours covered.

Sandrine1982 · 30/04/2023 22:20

It is a child you are talking about. Not a statue. You can't just put it away while you do your other "job". By the way, I would be interested in knowing what job you actually do, that makes you even consider doing it with a newborn. 🙄

wordler · 30/04/2023 22:20

The more I read some posts the more convinced I am that the temperament and what kind of sleeper your baby is, is the key.

Some people are saying they could barely get a shower when their baby was tiny - that wasn’t my experience or that of the Mum’s group I was part of.

Most of the toddlers in that group were able to happily play independently for 10-15 mins at a time and then longer from 6 months onwards.

weightymatters73 · 30/04/2023 22:32

twinmum2022 · 30/04/2023 21:08

What sort of proof? Like a note from the grandparents?

Show quote history

It has never got to the stage where we actually needed anything.... each request is dealt with on a "yes, sure, this is what we expect" - there is other stuff as well, like space for a small but functional workstation, office chair, phone with noise cancelling headset, fibre broadband....we pay for it all but we need people to be working and in a relatively quiet environment while on calls.

Basically the request comes from the belief that they can work from home, save on childcare and work from the kitchen table.....once they have been disillusioned and realise they need to be home and actually working using proper office equipment in a quiet environment its never taken any further....

It comes from issues where in the past where we have had "bad back" claims from working at home not using proper equipment, and complaints from customers about noise on calls, people just not answering the phone or responding to emails in working hours, and one particularly bad case where someone had no childcare and just didn't work when at home. She tried to justify it as she "had a baby and needed to look after it, it was her right to be home with her baby".... hmm, but not while being paid to work!

Maroon85 · 30/04/2023 22:42

The problem is you won't know how possible it is until your baby is here and of the age they'd be almost starting childcare, and by then it would be too late to sort anything.

Baby 1. Slept 12 hours a night from 10 days old but never napped (as in not at all, ever). She would entertain herself for a total of maybe 30 mins a day, but really I'd have been able to get nothing done during the day. But I could have easily caught up on evenings and weekends without almost killing myself. What I did with her is wfh one day a week, accept I was going to do maximum 1hr work on that day, and just worked 2 hours every other evening to catch up. This was fine for me, but then you say you don't want to be losing too much of your evenings and weekends so might not work for you, especially if you were wfh 2 days so needing to catch up twice as much work.

Baby 2 didn't sleep more than 40 mins at a time until she was 18 months old. She would nap for maybe 2 x 40 mins during the day but getting work done then would have been very hard as I was scraping by on 3 hours sleep a night max. Other than the time napping she needed to be held or interacted with virtually constantly. No way I could have followed the same plan as I did with my first. Mainly because I didn't have any evenings to myself in the first place, and most involved cradling a crying child for hours on end, so I'd never have had the time to catch up that missed work.

fairywhale · 30/04/2023 22:47

It would depend on the baby, the job and whether the hours are flexible or not and may be very tiring but not impossible. Ignore the nay sayers - they manage to spend 10 hours a day cleaning, changing beds and cooking from scratch while looking after babies, so no reason paid employment can't be done equally well.

JennyBee23 · 30/04/2023 22:49

I'm still on maternity leave with a 5 month old. There's days I don't get to pee until my husband comes in because the baby just wants to be on me because his teeth hurt/he's cluster feeding/ we've been stupid enough to think we've cracked it and we need brought back down to earth.

there's no way you can WFH with a 3 month old.

fyn · 30/04/2023 22:53

I’ve done it but working 20 hours a week from when the baby was six months old. The hours were 100% flexible so I worked naptimes, evenings and weekends. It’s a tough slog though because you basically have no free time! I think you’d struggle with a younger baby because they aren’t usually in a reliable nap routine.

Magicmama92 · 30/04/2023 22:53

😂😂😂😂😂

Andanotherone01 · 30/04/2023 22:55

You cannot work from home with a baby. It is really as simple as that

Youdoyoubabe · 30/04/2023 23:06

It can be possible. You will need one of those vibrating / rocking chair things and /or a sound proofed room for when you have to be on meetings and the baby cries. The do sleep alot in the first year so you can probably manage it.

You could also try keeping the baby strapped to you as it will likely cry less anyway. Either that or you will have to be tough from the word go and let the baby cry it out if you have to work.

Probably best to try it for a bit and see how it goes.

Jadey1986 · 30/04/2023 23:08

I have an 8 month old and have done some KIT days with work whilst on maternity. For most of them, someone look after my son but on one occasion I was looking after him and doing a KIT day. Whilst I don’t have to do a full day, I found it extremely hard to do any work and only managed to get stuff done while he napped which wasn’t long. If this was me really working properly it would be impossible.

You also have to think how tired you may be with a little one at that age. I was lucky mine slept through the night from 5 weeks but some babies are up every hour so you could be putting yourself under a lot of pressure trying to work, look after little one with little to no sleep.

I would also look at nurseries and get your name down on some as soon as you can. I had my name on a nursery list from before he was born and he still can’t start when i’m meant to return to work so i’m having to use a months AL to cover until he can start.

I think the idea of something seems easier and more straightforward until you have to do it!

Good luck x

Moveoverdarlin · 30/04/2023 23:10

If the baby is three months old and you’re working from home I think you’ll just about manage to open your laptop, log on, open one email, maybe start a reply, but you’ll not get much further than that. You won’t be able to have a phone conversation or teams call.

When my husband went back to work after two weeks paternity, I set myself a goal of having dinner ready by the time he came home. I was home all day and all I managed to do was get myself dressed, get baby dressed, and chop a pepper. That was it.

Out of interest, why do you want to go back to work so soon? Three months is so quick.

Youdoyoubabe · 30/04/2023 23:11

The other thing you could do if you want to save money on childcare is find a sixth form student who can come after school then you can have affordable help from 3 to say 7 pm so you can catch up.

My daughter and a lot of her friends do this kind of babysitting / mothers help work. They like it because the Mum is there incase there is a big problem and the mum likes it because they get to catch up on the day and have help with an end of day tidy up and bath and bed etc

Hobnob22 · 30/04/2023 23:12

LadyDanburysHat · 28/04/2023 15:27

I hate posts like this. It is why many employers don't like working form home, because people take the piss. If you are working from home, you are still working, you arrange childcare as if you were in the office.

This!

Allfizzandfun · 30/04/2023 23:16

Honestly, from the perspective of a mum (who went back after four months) and business owner, I would not allow this.

Not only would it be impossible to conduct your job (assuming you have some client or B2B role) and make calls etc during the day (with baby present), as an employer I have a duty of care and I would not feel comfortable with you looking after your baby during working hours. You would need to consider extending your maternity leave, paternity leave or another option

Moveoverdarlin · 30/04/2023 23:16

Lots of people are talking about you ‘cheating’ your company, what about your child? It’s them your cheating, out of a Mum. Three months is very early to talk about childcare, you’ll never get this time back. You will feel very differently when they’re here.

SouthLondonMum22 · 30/04/2023 23:39

@Moveoverdarlin Not everyone. I went back to work full time at 3 months and didn't feel differently when he arrived.

She may feel differently but she also may not.

Mumoftwosweetboys · 30/04/2023 23:46

DoesItHaveKosovo · 28/04/2023 15:38

Anyone who had to do this in lockdown is rolling their eyes so hard.

This!!! Absolutely impossible.

Channellingsophistication · 01/05/2023 00:03

With a 3 month old baby it would nigh on impossible to work. You will get only short periods of time to barely get started on your work before interruption. It will be utterly exhausting as you’ll have to catch up later in evening and wknds. As others have said its not fair to your baby or your employer as you cant give either your full concentration. If it was that easy everyone would be doing it….

k1233 · 01/05/2023 00:26

As a manager I would be saying no. Firstly you'll be unable to focus if your baby is there. Secondly I have an obligation to keep you safe and this includes ensuring you have work/life balance. So proposing to catch up on missed work hours outside of standard hours, potentially a lot of missed hours as babies are needy, would mean that you don't get a break and chance to disconnect from work. This isn't healthy and can lead to a number of issues eg burn out. As I said, it's my duty to keep you mentally safe at work and I'd have to say no to what you are suggesting as babies are stressful enough without trying to work at home and then catch up missed hours.

You'll also come across as scatty and unreliable if you constantly prioritise baby (as you should do). Any initial leeway will soon turn to resentment and frustration from your colleagues.

Jadebanditchillipepper · 01/05/2023 00:27

This sort of thread really annoys me. Are you trying to work full time, or are you looking after a baby??? You can't do both properly.

I work in a role where I have to be there when I am working. I find it really disrespectful that people think that they can do both. You can't. Why do you think maternity leave/nannies/nurseries/childminders exist?

Would you be happy if you sent your baby to a childminder and then found out that the childminder was trying to do a full time WFH job at the same time as looking after your baby? So why is it ok for you to do the same?

If you try to do this, you're either compromising on childcare or you're not doing your job properly. Which is it??

literalviolence · 01/05/2023 00:29

It depends on the baby re how much work they are. My babies took an hour to feed, then winding, changing then maybe an hours sleep then start again..By 6 months they were mobile and you could not leave them in the cot or plsypento play. They wanted to explore but weren't safe to do so. If you wanted them to sleep more in the day they'd sleep less at night and it would be hard to function anway. I think you need child care. Is there any way to reduce your hours?

Jadebanditchillipepper · 01/05/2023 00:31

And please don't say that "People did it in lockdown". That was an exceptional circumstance which will hopefully never happen again and is not relevant for today's society

Thirdsummerofourdiscontent · 01/05/2023 00:40

will you need to be available for team meetings or phone calls? Nothing more stressful than being on a meeting trying to calm a screaming baby while actually having to talk to people.