Working from home with baby - Advice

[Gem2x87]

Hi,

I'm currently pregnant with my first child due on 20th September. My plan is to take 3 months off then go back to work full time. I hear that I might need to start looking at childcare very soon. I was wondering if anyone had any advice. My company allows 2 days working from home. I have the 3 days in the office covered with my husband and mum. I would like to work from home with the baby the other 2 days so I can spend more time with him/her. My company would probably be quite relaxed about it as long as I get the work done but I don't want too much of my weekends/evenings being eaten up. How long do you think it would be manageable to work from home with the baby and what age would you think it would be better to use childcare?

Thank you

It is not realistic to think you can work and care for a baby. You could get a nanny to work from your home, but it's expensive, and you might struggle to get someone part-time.

Most companies have a policy that says that when you're working from home, you can not be caring for a child of any age.

Invest in a really good sling!! It’s really really hard but is possible I literally strapped my youngest to me and just kept working (my business so being off wasn’t an option) she went to client meetings and everything and this was long before Covid we just made it work it’s also worth seeing if your partner could do a day at home as well (either on the same day or separately depending on what works for you.). For me it was about planning (it also helped that it was baby 3 and I knew what to expect) I did all work where I needed to concentrate either really early or really late and then phone calls whilst she slept. I think babies can be surprisingly adaptable if they are used to it another key thing was not having a quiet house this enabled her to sleep in any environment which was a massive help and meant I could do phone calls whilst she slept and trying to stick to a routine as much as possible - good luck xxx

What work did you not need to concentrate on?

I genuinely wonder what some of these jobs are where you can look after a baby or toddler at the same time.

It doesn’t work
you’ll end up being stressed with the baby when you need to be completing work and she needs your attention
Something has to give

I'd also add that if you try this and realise you can't work with your baby at home, you're going to have at least a six month wait to get them into a nursery.

Couple of young women I knew were doing this - local government jobs of course - annoying to co-workers I bet but managers probably not tough enough to sort

No, she’s a very happy baby, and advanced compared to a lot of her peers at hitting her milestones so clearly it isn’t causing her any harm not having ‘more’ for one day a week. The OP didn’t ask what was the most desirable, she was asking if people thought it would be possible to work from home and I’m telling her that yes it is, and I am proof of that. There are plenty of people that are unable to afford alternative childcare, this may be the case with OP.

Yes it is demanding and I have tight deadlines but I generally use the time my baby is eating her breakfast and lunch and nap times to do my most demanding work. If she got upset about something she would obviously always be my priority but my house is baby proofed so there isn’t much she can get into or ways she can hurt herself etc so she generally doesn’t get upset she plays with her toys and then I’ll have short spells of playing with her rather than a one hour lunch break

Shame you aren’t able to use those all important meal times for socialising your child, teaching her basic manners. Also lucky that your really important work can be completed in the time most of us take to complete a wordle. I take it you aren’t a NASA scientist.

You cannot work with a baby. You need childcare.

It's not fair on baby. It's not good for you. And you won't get any work done.

Sorry.

We have a policy preventing this . Working at home with children . How can this be fair at all on a baby/ child etc and how can you possible work and everyone be safe . I get that it happened in lockdown but everyone was doing it so different.

No no and double no. I wfh with a baby and a nanny and that was enough of a nightmare!!!! It will be impossible, absolutely impossible as there's your job to do and the job of looking after a baby. You cannot do two of these at the same time.

Also as PP have said totally unfair on the baby anyway so not a good parenting plan whatsoever anyway.

My child has great manners for her age, a lot better than yours it seems. Not that I need to justify myself but it’s one day a week and I know plenty of people that manage it more days and their children are perfectly fine and developing well.
Why do you feel the need to be rude when I’m just offering my experience? Bitterness perhaps that you aren’t able to manage it?
No, I’m not a NASA scientist, although I doubt OP is either. She has stated she can work flexibly as long as her work is completed, this is similar to mine, apart from my deadlined work.
My DD naps for 2-3 hours a day and as she’s only small it takes her a while to eat also, if you need 4 hours to complete a wordle though I suppose you would struggle!
I have this time to do the more time sensitive work and then when she’s awake I do my less demanding work, keeping an eye on her whilst doing it, but I don’t need to watch her like a hawk when she’s in her own home, a safe space.
I just don’t understand why everyone is telling the OP it’s not possible, and acting like she mad for even considering it, for a lot of people, like myself and a lot of my friends, it absolutely is doable, it completely depends on circumstances.

Some people have already discussed the reasons why they have an issue with it, even if it may be possible.

Women already have a harder time at work due to sexism and this doesn't help because many employers see it as taking advantage of the flexible offer to work from home.

Caring roles are already undervalued. Again, this doesn't help with that issue.

The majority of people wouldn't be happy with their nanny or childminder also working at the same time as watching their child.

When it comes down to it, one or the other is always going to be missing out be it work or the child.

Why would anyone be bitter about it? I work from home the majority of the time and my baby is in full time nursery. The time I spend with him is quality time because I'm not trying to watch him and work at the same time.

I think this would be very tricky, I understand you’re not saying that you would really work whilst playing with your child, but perhaps work whilst baby naps? Honestly, out of my 3 babies none of them napped consistently in any form of routine until they were one, then they have all had a two hour nap in the afternoon. I think you would put yourself under a lot of pressure trying to fit in the hours, perhaps early in the morning or evening, assuming that your partner is home at these times. Or at weekends. The tiredness that comes with a new baby is a lot! You will likely be pretty exhausted especially going back to work when the baby is so young and also trying to work with baby there. I understand you may need to go back to work early, but I’d look at what option you have for childcare, even if it’s someone come to the house on your working days, or consider your options for nursery or a childminder. I think if you try and do as you have suggested you will end up burnt out very quickly.

Not “everyone” - but most people. There are obviously exceptions, but for the vast majority it’s not possible to manage work, deadlines, meetings and staff effectively with a small baby. My employer doesn’t allow anyone who has caring responsibilities to work from home long term for those very reasons.

My last post to @Pclare - forgot to quote

This is an example of what I mean. Some employers now refuse it and those who wouldn't take advantage are denied flexibility.

I understand why employers do it but it's a shame that others miss out due to some who take advantage.

Mine allows it as long as care is provided for children under 12. I was more than happy to show proof that my baby is in nursery.

Wow so you really calling her a bad mother , can I ask why do you do with your 15 month old every single day that you feel she wont be doing ? Because I worked with both my younger children from home before and during lockdown and I’m still doing it now with a 15 month old too . It’s not easy but the brunt of it is on me and in a way I think I do a lot more for my toddler that many stay at home mums( not all I’m sure ) who make no effort , and there are pros because I work and have more income I can afford to do more quality stuff . You shouldn’t judge someone simply by your own standards .

I remember feeling really frustrated at not being able to get basic tasks done at home like dishwasher, cooking, showering

Constant. Constant interruptions. It's the main
Thing I struggled with as a new
Mother. I remember cooking my evening meals at 9am as that's when baby had a nap

It's really hard. Then they start crawling, walking, moving around and you cant take your eyes off them for a second

Can you work 4 days a week and put baby in nursery for one day? That one day you could WFH and smash out 10 hours of work

At 3 m the baby will adjust fine.

Completely understand why it doesn’t work for some people, what I don’t understand is peoples sarcastic attitudes and rudeness to OP and to myself, I am simply sharing my experience and how I manage it. If OP’s company are aware of what she is planning to do and are ok with it then clearly sexism isn’t an issue in her workplace and they don’t think she is taking advantage, which is the case with my employer. I work at a family run business and we are a very close team so perhaps that’s the difference, I don’t work for a big corporation with lots of wfh rules, and if my colleagues hear my daughter chatting while on a call, they will say hello to her, not get angry and think I’m not working properly.
IMO my work doesn’t suffer and neither does my child, she’s developing well and is very happy and I actually just received a gift from my boss as a thank you for doing particularly well on a recent project, so clearly no qualms their end.
I do also get to spend a lot of quality time with my daughter at weekends and in the evening when I finish work. Perhaps OP can’t afford nursery or a nanny so that’s why she is weighing this up as an option. I think people just need to be a little kinder, there was no need for the sarcastic response I got from the PP, which is why I said that perhaps they are bitter, I can’t think of another reason why they would feel the need to be so rude to someone they don’t even know.

Thank you @Nothingisblackandwhite I honestly don’t understand why some people are so rude on MN! I am just sharing my experience and detailing how I manage. Like you, working means I can then spend more quality time with my daughter, holidays, days out etc. than if I was at stay at home mum or having to fork out for nursery full time. My daughter is not suffering, she is perfectly well looked after and happy, some people on here are callous 😂

It might not be an issue in her work place but it certainly contributes to other employers outright banning it because they see it as taking advantage, especially if they aren't told about it.

I'm close with my team too but I'm also glad we have wfh rules because I find it to be unprofessional to work with a young child at home and like I said, it doesn't do women any favours in the work place.

Honestly just ignore the unnecessary judgemental comments. No one knows your situation but you, mine is similar to yours so I totally agree with everything you’ve stated about your set up. The pulling apart of someones situation because it is different to theirs or doesn’t fit with their beliefs is so baffling. Keep going Mum!