DH's colleague thwarting flex working request

[mamabeeboo]

Hi all

We are due twins in 8 weeks time, really excited/nervous/stressed, but trying to prepare as much as we can. 😁

DH works in two different shift patterns alternating weekly. One week 6-2pm, next week 9-5pm, then back to 6am.

The plan for the twins is for DH to submit a flexible working request, where he can do 6-2pm shift indefinitely. So we can keep nursery costs down by paying for half day for the twins until 1pm. I can take my lunch break until DH gets back. This works for us financially, for obvious reasons.

The flex working request means his colleague is stuck on the later shift, which is the "worse shift" since you don't have a free afternoon, you are stuck on your own finishing everything etc etc. No real reason other than it's a bit of an inconvenience.

Question - what do we need to be aware of when submitting a flexi working request? Is there anything we can explain on the request to make sure that feedback from colleague is not a reason for a no? Does management even have to share the request to colleagues to get some understanding on how this would be received? Ideally we would like to keep it confidential.

Of course manager will consider the impact on the team, but technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline according to the gov website. But he can make life a bit difficult for DH and kick off quite a bit. He seems to be quite a rowdy person from the few times I have met him.

I would imagine they'd have a water tight business reason for declining the flexible working request. That's all they need, a legitimate business reason. And the difficulty in persuading another employee to alter their working pattern, in that they'd need some sort of compensation for that, most likely a hefty pay rise, would be a legitimate business reason. I wouldn't bank on this request being granted, and I wouldn't bother trying to fight it, you'd be really unlikely to win. Could your DH look for another job which does offer the hours he wants? Is that working pattern common in his line of work?

If you work shifts (I do), 9-5 is the absolute worst! Whole day is taken up, get stuck in traffic both ends of the day, no time to nip to the gym/shops/GP appointments etc. I’m not a fan of lates, but at least I have some of the morning free, on earlies, yes I have to get up at 0430, but I’m home before 3pm and so have time to do things after work.

I think you are ridiculously unreasonable to expect a colleague to do that for you.

Niche skills I'm not getting Liam Neeson vibes for this particular bloke.

The PFB entitlement is strong in this one 🤣🤣🤣

Never read anything quite like it.

you aren’t making this request, your husband is - it’s his job and his employer.

you come across as incredibly selfish and narrow minded. A reason to turn down a request is they cannot reorganise the work among other staff.

your husband can ask - they might say yes of the other staff want to accommodate it - they might say no. But advise your husband to be careful of his tone. You are not good counsel! It’s okay for this other worker to not want to be permanently on this later shift. Who knows - it might suit him brilliantly but it might not.

there is something distasteful about you assuming this man must change his life to save you childcare costs.

Flexible working requests are usually accommodated if they dont impact the business or other employees. This massively affects another employee effectively changing their contract. I can't see it being granted and I think your attitude to your DHs colleague is appalling.

There a good few twins in my family plus parents of twins in my work too. You are in for some shock 😝when they come in real life. Its not only childcare fees that are expensive everything else is as you need two of everything. What most that i know have done is they divide the childcare between creche and a childminder, the childminder does the longer days. However am sorry for the short term it is going to be expensive. Its only short term though after a few years they will be in nursery and get their free hours. Every parent will tell you childcare is expensive. There is not much you can do about it. But i think quitting has more long term consequences. On the flexi request there is no way any company i know will accept that

Surely you're going to be in Mat Leave so that this won't even be an issue for quite a while yet? Or am I misreading something? But either way sounds very unreasonable an expectation from your side.

How about you have the decency to ask this colleague first if he would be amenable to your request? Then he might not be so 'rowdy'.

Ugh.

Yabu

and in my workplace it’s highly unlikely it would be agreed. You are forcing someone onto a shift known for difficulties, in addition it’s highly unlikely to be agreed as the experience gained on both shifts would be required to make t( workforce multitasked

the nasty side of me hopes one day your husband is on the receiving end of such a request and gets dumped on

technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline

Blimey!

If I was the colleague I wouldn't always want to work late, and I'd tell them boss no too.

@mamabeeboo When submitting an flexible working request, you need to outline what impact this has on the business (and often they also ask about colleagues), how any obstacles could be overcome and solutions for any problems.

By the sounds of it you have not thought this through. Back to the drawing board!

A decent manager should take account of impact on colleagues, and why should his colleague be permanently stuck with the shitty timed shift?

I accept it is still just a standard 9-5 which many people work, but that isn't the deal here. The deal is alternating shifts. The decent thing would be to ask them first.

It's people like you who create a shitty narrative around entitled parents

If they have to change the shift pattern or let the other colleague work less hours, they can absolutely refuse it.

They clearly need the 2 shift patterns or they would have them.

@mamabeeboo I should have tagged you so that you saw my idea. There's every possibility that 2 full days at nursery might be cheaper than 5 half days too. Which might help balance the fact your DH could lose 5 hours a week if the compressed hours is a goer.

I feel there is a huge degree of entitlement expecting the other colleague to permanently change their working pattern solely for your convenience with little consideration for the impact on them. I wouldn’t expect this to be approved. I would think the best you’re likely to get is a fixed pattern that gives you fixed half days several times a week. Is your husband likely to find another role with this set working pattern close enough to home to accommodate his travel time too?

I don't understand why this issue arises now? Are you planning to go back to work as soon as the babies are born?

Roffle

But what realistically are the chances of your husband finding another job that allows him to finish at 2 pm?

Good luck with this, and life in general.

Why do you think 'you would like it' is more important than 'colleague wouldn't like it'.

This colleague is not your employee, so it's not up to you to decide when you want them to work for your own personal convenience, & your preferences or childcare costs are certainly not his problem.

If you want that level of control you need to be the employer.

Why do so many people think that having a baby entitles them to special treatment by the rest of the world?

Childfree people, or those with children who make adequate arrangements for their childcare so it doesn't impact on their colleagues, have as much right to want to work their afternoon shift (even if you don't want them too) as anyone else.

It's not about you & it doesn't matter if you have quadruplets, you still have no right to expect someone else's work pattern to change to suit you.

Colleague is clearly an arsehole. How dare they not want to work their life around your husband and family?! Back in the real world, then why should they have to work the late shift forever? I wouldn’t be up for that. It takes up your life more than earlies e.g. limits nights out, no early starts to weekend / time away, always getting home late etc. We also have twins but it doesn’t mean other people need to work around us. I’m trying to approach my working arrangements from the opposite angle e.g. Wednesdays are a super unpopular working day for my team, due to various personal reasons and commitments. So lm going to propose when l return l do it as a long day, then drop hours on one of the more popular days to work e.g. Tuesday or Thursday. If that works for team and manager

Are you not taking mat leave?