DH's colleague thwarting flex working request

[mamabeeboo]

Hi all

We are due twins in 8 weeks time, really excited/nervous/stressed, but trying to prepare as much as we can. 😁

DH works in two different shift patterns alternating weekly. One week 6-2pm, next week 9-5pm, then back to 6am.

The plan for the twins is for DH to submit a flexible working request, where he can do 6-2pm shift indefinitely. So we can keep nursery costs down by paying for half day for the twins until 1pm. I can take my lunch break until DH gets back. This works for us financially, for obvious reasons.

The flex working request means his colleague is stuck on the later shift, which is the "worse shift" since you don't have a free afternoon, you are stuck on your own finishing everything etc etc. No real reason other than it's a bit of an inconvenience.

Question - what do we need to be aware of when submitting a flexi working request? Is there anything we can explain on the request to make sure that feedback from colleague is not a reason for a no? Does management even have to share the request to colleagues to get some understanding on how this would be received? Ideally we would like to keep it confidential.

Of course manager will consider the impact on the team, but technically 'colleague doesn't like it' isn't a reason for a decline according to the gov website. But he can make life a bit difficult for DH and kick off quite a bit. He seems to be quite a rowdy person from the few times I have met him.

I don’t understand your outrage OP. We would all like a perfect work pattern to help with childcare but to expect a colleague to work on a crap pattern indefinitely is entitled and unfair. IM
struggling to understand why you can’t see howunreasonable this is!

Why is childcare a priority? Why are you discriminating?

I was told I had to work Mother's Day once "because I'm not a mother" 🤣

Exactly what I was wondering @Theluggage15

I do my best to accommodate everyone and even more if it’s related to childcare. Why would you discriminate against anyone with no childcare needs @Mumwomansisterdaughter ? Why would you try and accommodate people with childcare needs more than people without the need for childcare? You do know that employees should be treated equally don’t you?

Yeah so that’s really not legal, I suspect you already know that and I hope you’ve stood your ground since!

Check out if half day nursery is actually saving much money. As half day at my kids nursery was still a 1/3 of day rate. So say £100 a day, a half day was about £68.
You might be cheaper with a nanny for 2 kids.

Why don't you get your husband to ask him what he thinks? He might prefer 9 to 5 for all you know. Walking out of work at 2pm is great, getting there at 6 am is less so.

So…having read the entirety of this thread, can I just ask if you were to suggest a 3/2 or 2/3 pattern whether you’d ‘allow’ your DH’s colleague the 2pm finish on Fridays? That would be the kicker for my team and I do suspect you’d be inclined to assume the colleague would be forced to do the 5pm those days too.

For clarity, you can 100% submit this request for FW, unless the employer is completely dense it will be rejected.

It is absolutely ok that you have children (whether 1, 2 or 46), but employment laws will not allow you to have preferential treatment. Hope this helps!

Not discriminating at all but it’s one of the hardest things to solve ( I found over the years ) and one that cause more unreliability if not appropriate so it is always a priority because I know it’s the main reason I risk loosing a team member over it . As I said I handpicked my own team I know their personal priorities well .

So... you're determined that your husband will submit that flexible working request, because there's no harm in asking, right?

And it will almost certainly fail because of an inability to reorganise work among existing staff. And then he won't be able to submit another request for 12 months.

And so the two of you are setting off on a path towards Plan B... which seems to be that he'll resign? Right-i-o, then.

I really hope you'll come back and update us on how this all pans out.

Would this even work? How long is your lunchbreak? If your OH worked 6-2, even if he lived close lets assume he wont be home till 2:15/2:30. If you are collecting at 1pm, again even if you're very close, you'll have to leave for pick up at 12:30/12:45, then wait for OH to take over at 2:15. That's 90mins...plus another 15mins maybe to get back to work. That's a long lunch break!

Request by all means but my suggestion would be for your OP to speak with colleague first. Management would likely favour a request that works for everyone. Why not suggest rather than doing alternating weeks him and colleague do a regular 2/3 split eg He works late M, T, W and early Th and Fri
What sort of job do they do? Does cover have to be exactly as it is now? Could your OH offer 3 days at 6 till 6 and take a small drop in wages. I think 3 full days nursery would be more manageable than 5 half days as no mid day dash. I think there are endless combinations that you may not have even considered.
BTW, what do you mean by colleague is rowdy? How might that influence?

Do you handpick do that people
will be okay with being disadvantaged in favour of parents?

how does this work proactively? Do you give priority to parents for Christmas and summer holidays for example? Do you expect parents to work shorter hours, perform to lower standards?

I have a small team - I expect to cwryone to pull their weight. I understand parent will have sock
chodlren occasionally and I do my best to accommodate that. But I don’t give parents priority over holidays. I don’t say it’s more important Thant parents have Christmas off. I recognise the needs of folk cari g for elderly parents.

if you aren’t discriminating - what are you doing?

and is their an implied threat in your handpicking? Sefer folk who will tolerate it??

You seem to asking how to fuck over another staff member without them realising so they can’t have the right of reply?

Not read every post so apologies if this has been pointed out, but your husband requesting to change his hours won't automatically change the colleagues! They would be considering it on the basis of having 2 people doing earlies and none on lates every other week, and this having to hire someone else if the colleague declined the offer of permanent lates.

I think the op needs to firstly be sure that a nursery would even consider the half day arrangement, it doesn't sound financially attractive for them at all.
Comments so far have obviously been quite negative and I'd just add that as an employer or HR rep I'd be struck by how my employees partner would be dictating to this extent and it's not something you'd want to encourage.
The op's DH has accepted a contract as has the co-worker. It's not the employers fault if the contractual arrangements are now a poor fit.
Depending on the co workers duration of service etc they may easily be able to prove discrimination and go to a tribunal so the employer would have to juggle this also. For the employer to even suggest this change could show discrimination.

Not discriminating you just make accommodating group of people over another a priority... I mean that kinda sounds like discriminating?

But OP handpicked her team - apparently that makes it okay!

Wow OP you dont half come across as mean and up your own ass. I had twins and another under 2 and never thought of shafting my husbands colleagues.

I also allow a team member to have a 2 hour lunch time so she is with her dogs , one to have a fixed 2 days a month off to visit her ill mother and one to work from home with her baby with her and let one have 5 weeks leave in one go . When you are flexible to everyone , nobody feels they are loosing . We close the week of Christmas , it’s actually the only time I feel we discriminate since 2 of my team are Muslim and are obligated to not work ( company policy completely out of my control ) .
Of course I’m human and not 100% unbiased , as a example , I prefer my team to all have dependent , altough it’s not my main priority when recruiting , because over the years I find those with a family are more stable as employees .
Anyway , thankfully I think we never had any issues with each other and we are very good at having each others backs if needed .
Remember not discriminating doesn’t always mean doing the exact same thing for everyone , means giving everyone the same chances even if it means different things to every individual.

I mean technically any manager who does recruitment 'handpicks' their own team, but I guess that totally makes discrimination okay if they've been handpicked 🙄

I prefer my team to all have dependent , altough it’s not my main priority when recruiting , because over the years I find those with a family are more stable as employees .

What the actual fuck?

please explain how my uterus not working makes me a less stable employee?

I can see that it is understandable to make the request. But it would be incredibly unreasonable to show any resentment or bad feeling if it is declined.

Some people should definitely not be allowed to be managers should they!

I have a wonderful mix in my team from young professionals, young parents, grand parents, all sorts. They all bring different qualities and have different pressures outside work

So when recruiting you establish whether people have children??????

what on earth do you do for a living and how have you gotten away with this???

Looking at the gov website, there are only a few reasons for the request rejection (such as if it costs the company money), so will have a think about how best to approach the "impact on other colleagues" part. I already have some ideas for this, such as usually the person that does this later shift leaves early because everything is pretty much done by 4pm, so the extra hour is spent paid whilst you go home. Whereas the early shift, you do stay for the whole time, so it's pros and cons with both shifts.

Slow down tiger! If I'm picking this up right I think you might be best holding fire and keeping quiet about this!!

It mightn't be a good idea to inform your husbands employers that he doesn't work the hours he is paid for - they mightn't be too happy!