Most annoying phrases heard at work

[newbie202020]

I'm on a work-related call and have just heard the dreaded 'let's double-click on that' when someone wants to discuss something in more detail. I'm having to bite my fist.....

Does anyone else want to share?

It's not a cringy phrase but the worst thing we get is "just do the best you can"
Which roughly translates as "I'm not listening when you say that is not possible or practical, and I'm too lazy important to email or call the client to find out more info or negotiate changes....and then I will blame you if its wrong!"

Many years ago when I worked in a shop, the staff were encouraged to “live the customer dream”.

Which we did, provided the customers’ dream was to tidy up clothes in Matalan.

'Does it wash its own face?' meaning does it make money.

I wish there was a Wanky Corporate Phrases App that alerted me of a new phrase each day, so I could make it my goal to include the phrase of the day in my calls. I wonder how ridiculous it would get before people caught on.

K1P1! Genius!!! I will be doing that in my next EMT with ESHC (executive management team with external stake holder contributions).

Oh god, yes. I used to read this on emails all the time and the temptation to reply 'do you mean end of the day?' was strong!

I'm not bothered until I don't know wtf people are saying

This seems completely normal to me. Like it's a normal sentence. It's like saying 'the bit about the x project payment'.

Then again I am northern, but this is just a normal sentence?

You should go to Scotland- a “piece” is what we call a sandwich! If you said it too much in a business meeting people would just get hangry 😀

@FactyFrances hone in is a phrase.

Being pumped! (i'm not native English speaker and it sounds something "dirty" to me 😄)

“hone” is a phrase, like “honing your skills”.

“Home in” is when you focus on a particular detail- “let’s home in on the 2018 data”.

But not “hone in” I don’t think.

This one is “sloppy shoulders” not “sloppy shoulders”. It means someone who doesn’t take responsibility for things, instead of putting their back into carrying the heavy item they let it slip downwards to become someone else’s responsibility.

Ha ha I suspect that you did say “slopey” and got autocorrected just like me @Lampshadeandchristmasbaubles ! Sorry.

We say slippery shoulders

@Poepourri

"does it wash it's own face" means does it break even (ie. cover it's own cost) not does it make money.

-Should we run this event next year?
-Well it washed it's face this year so we could do without making a loss.

End of play/close of play
Touch base

Although since moving to marketing in the corporate world I've started using said annoying phrases. 😬

Work with someone who uses football related phrases:

If someone is sick/on leave they’re “off the pitch”.

Passes “the ball” to people in meetings.

There have been more but those are the two regular ones.

“Back of the net!” @Frances24 ?

Oh yes that one too 🤦‍♀️