Most annoying phrases heard at work

[newbie202020]

I'm on a work-related call and have just heard the dreaded 'let's double-click on that' when someone wants to discuss something in more detail. I'm having to bite my fist.....

Does anyone else want to share?

Funny you should say that- I just got an email about my son’s school fees going up next year and it says

“My fellow Governors and I have recently considered the particular financial headwinds that the School is currently facing…”

had not heard it used before outside aviation..

"What was your takeaway from that?"

Fuck off. A takeaway is an Indian or Chinese on a Saturday night.

"Less talking more eating pleeeease" often said by me about 5 times every day at least. I am a Dinner lady in a Primary School. Every time I say this I feel like a right knob for some reason. I get strange looks from the Children and other Dinner Ladies. But I still say it.

Lean in....

Thanks all - glad I'm not alone! Like some other posters, I've become so used to all of the corporate BS that I hadn't even realised how many of these I hear all day (& I have to say, do use myself sometimes...!)

I've thought of another one - 'what are we trying to solve for?' mentioned at seemingly randomn points during a discussion.

I've just had a meeting about starting a new project and one of the guys asked me if I was confident going from poacher to gamekeeper - I said yes (of course) but I have absolutely no idea what he was talking about!

I have a new one - “minoritised people” - by which they mean “minorities”, a perfectly decent, much shorter term!

Hundreds of them. But latest one is

'North Star'

When talking about the goal / idea.

Oh this is an old one, and fine in my opinion. It’s going to the opposite side in an industry and benefitting from the experience you have of viewing things form the other side’s perspective.

So you might be a defence lawyer who flips to work for people bringing claims, or an insurance broker who becomes someone working in a corporate responsible for buying insurance.

NO! They would really not like my authentic self and I would probably be sacked on the spot 😀

Nugatory work. Had to look it up.

My actual husband has started saying 'reach out' in our actual home.

In the grass
In the long grass
In the deep grass
In the weeds

I love the comment on 'wankey' not being suitable for the workplace. 😁 Imagine if the style of kitchen communication was swapped with corporate/professional services. It would make for a great comedy sketch.

I'm glad I don't work in places that this shit is the norm as I'd find it very hard not to laugh out loud at the pretentious twats so desperate to climb the career ladder that they think it's acceptable.

I'm not a fan of The Apprentice but I occasionally watch a bit just to see these types coming up with their corporate wankspeak to impress Lord Sugar and ending every sentence with his name

Honestly? "Sorry, I won't be in today and probably won't be in the rest of the week", and "but that's not what we do"

Awww no guys I accidentally brought my whole self to work and someone complained about me. Absolutely leave a part of yourself tucked up in bed at home, in my case the friendly part.

They've clearly got their Easter Holidays on their mind.

Just came across a “thought shower” 🙄

"Knit one, pearl one" made up by me and a colleague and snuck in conversation in meetings to see if anyone noticed. They didn't. We often make up wanky phrases and no one flinches.

"Keep me honest" oh just fuck off

Oh in the weeds... drives me potty

Piss up your back
Have your legs
Throw you under the bus

These crop up at my place
Irritating

Oh an American said that on a call recently, I guess it’s a variation on “correct me if I’m wrong”, I hadn’t heard it before and found it hilarious.

Dis you deliberately say pearl not purl?

Pad in tact