Most annoying phrases heard at work

[newbie202020]

I'm on a work-related call and have just heard the dreaded 'let's double-click on that' when someone wants to discuss something in more detail. I'm having to bite my fist.....

Does anyone else want to share?

Whilst squeezing three unrelated extra issues into one ten minute appointment "well I thought I'd just wait and ask you as I know the doctors are busy!".....

’At the coalface’ Apart from the fact that TwatManager doesn’t actually even say it correctly (can’t say what they actually say as it might give me away), it just makes me think that us staff are doing all the hard, dirty work while TwatManager sits high above us keeping their hands clean 😡

Reaching out

I did bite and said my arms were not long enough 😹

Senior Management were not impressed 😳😹😹

I worked in business development and had to call potential new clients daily.

My now ex boss told me to remember to “smile while I dial”

Cringe. I handed in my notice less than a week later and left the same day. The entire company was a shambles

"In it together" and "pull together as a unit", and "tow the line" (this was said frequently during covid when I was admin for a large group of nurseries under the same brand and the owner expected us to give our time for free for her. She never, ever gave any praise or thanks to us admin, just expected us to work extra hours for free, drive around for her to get covid tests for no compensation etc. Hated that fucking thankless job.

You bake into the DNA

I feel blessed my colleagues don't say any of these. Next time the woman I share an office with is eating her quavers at eat shattering volume I will console myself with how much worse it could be.

I think the worst part is when you find yourself saying them. My husband and I agreed on tea and I said 'lovely, we're aligned'. Absolute wanker.

Mine are very fond of "with change comes opportunity" at the moment which is a fun way of saying 'we're making you all redundant'.

That sounds like a really bad idea, I think my authentic self might lose my job 😬

'speak to' drives me mad, where do these random assaults on grammar come from?

“Socialise” as in “this policy needs to be socialised with staff”. No idea where it’s come from and I fucking hate it yet have still found myself saying it like a prize twat.

At my workplace the acceptable way to say ‘I don’t know the answer to that question’ seems to be to say ‘I’m not as across that as I should be’.

Just say you don’t know! Don’t create a random word salad for no reason.

Sensor check instead of sense check.
Not a phrase but the misuse of 'myself'/'yourself' to sound smarter: 'Please email that to myself, then I'll add my updates and send back to yourself'

We need to pivot our posture
Socialise that

One I came across many years ago and can't get out of my head no matter how hard I try.

Are we all 'on rope' with that?
No. We were not climbing Everest. It was bloody financial services.

I do like 'you can't boil the ocean' though.

Not really a phrase but my company sent round an e-learn about "marketing your own personal brand" which I genuinely thought was satire at first. Turned out it was serious!

I don’t even know what most of these mean! Please explain when posting them 🙏. I’m a probation officer so the phrase I hear most is, “I don’t even know why I’m here, I only did…”.

Let’s t-shirt size the task. Literally have no idea what this means.

Cascade
An email being sent as a “gentle reminder”

🤣🤣🤣

Let's sidebar this...
Granular results.... granular information
lets table this...
and making caviller decisions!

My hated phrase is let's unpick this. I love let's Wang it in here ha ha makes me laugh everytime like wanting wellies

Close of play is I think more referring to cricket, so it's more an old boys expression.

I do use it though! (hides under the parapet)

Or another one there is no I in team and it was not liked when I said there is a me

My boss has started saying "for sure" and every time they say it I'm reminded of Cassandra's twatty boss Stephen in OFAH 🫣