AIBU Meeting time changed as male in team has to drop his children at school first

[Champagnebreakfast]

AIBU but just moments ago I got an email from someone I was meeting in an hour.To say he had to move the meeting to later due to having to drop his children off at school.
I find this unprofessional. This impacts upon my day.

When my children were little, and I was working, I ensured they were in school on time. I never missed a morning meeting or was late to one. That was 25 years ago when it was a very male dominated world.

Would you have preferred a lie to cover the real reason up?

YABU.

Reaching a bit there. All the guy did was ask to rearrange a meeting, not for the OP to arrange a parade for his Amazing Dad Powers.

And could you still perform it with your children in tow or would you need to drop them at school first? 🙄

So an unexpected situation came up and your response is to blast your colleague on an online forum simply because you were never in the position of your children needing you? Slow clap for backwards attitudes, no wonder parents are struggling in todays working environment.

Your colleague is probably rushing around trying to please everyone whilst you’re sat typing on Mumsnet.

He will expect an award for doing Wife Work won't he?

Do you hate all men?

Goody to you OP.

If that’s really your attitude - you wouldnt like me working in your team. I’m a highly specialised role, essentially fixing technical things that in our Itil world of people boxes where people can’t see past the limits of their box - it rather makes me a weird kind of specialist - it also means that whatever the problem - 99% of the time i can identify the fault - recommend a solution - even it that means wee small hours - await said solution - maintain customer confidence - and finally ensure it’s implemented well.

Problem is - my kids come first. And if my employer didnt like that - i’d find an employer who wouldn’t care about a 60 minute delay for an early day meeting - because they’d know i’d still be there through the night figuring out their issue, and a meeting to talk about work, is just talking about work - not necessarily actually doing any.

Thankfully in the past decade - i’ve not met an employer like you.

I suspect that OP didn’t liked the way he’s put it.
My DH actually would do the same, in case of emergency he wouldn’t send an email: “Could we please start our meeting today at 9.25 instead of 9.10? I have to take littlepizza to school unexpectedly because PizzaHeart who usually does it is ill with temperature 39/ violently sick/ pulled her back and can’t move. Unfortunately I can’t send littlePizza by herself as she’s too young and won’t be able to cross the road. “. No DH would just do : Can we start the meeting today a bit later at 9.25 as I have to take my child to school? “ He wouldn’t think twice that something wrong in his email. He would be equally ok to receive such an email himself and move the meeting ( if possible) or to receive the answer that the start at 9.25 is not convenient and the meeting should be moved.

I am just about to hand notice at work as the person I am supposed to work with has not been able to do any of her morning and afternoon hours because she needs to drop her kids at school, she needs to pick them up, and can’t catch up with work when the kids are around as she is too busy with them. She also has taken days off because her husband has the flu…

Talking about absolutely abusing her flexi hours full time job. This has really made me wonder how the fuck I manage to raise a child alone while working full time for so many years and covering for CFs all the time.

I couldn't work in a non-family friendly workplace.

I know there are some meetings that absolutely shouldn't be moved and I'd go as far as I could to not impact those, however if my going to the meeting on time meant my child couldn't go to school that day...well I'm sorry but my child always comes first.

My work has been flexible for parents (and in general) for years. It’s a great place to work. It used to be nearly all women shuffling things around for childcare etc but now the men are doing it much more too. Just as likely to see them with a toddler on their lap occasionally as the women. Yes it’s annoying if they get overly praised for it in a way women wouldn’t - but the more it’s normalised, the less that happens and now it just doesn’t seem like a big deal. We all try to accommodate each other and understand that sometimes we’ll just have to catch up later.

Did you think his wife should do it instead? My work has become quite flexible for men and women with children since Covid. I'm not a parent but I think it's a good thing.

I can't think of a single male colleague who had to come in later because of the school run before Covid. Now I see several senior executives excusing themselves from meetings that overrun because they need to collect the children or joining on Teams because they needed to stay home with a sick child. I can only imagine that prior to that, their wives were stuck as the default parent and being judged by their employers because they were asking for time off.

Wow, men really can’t win can they

If a women posted that there was a situation where her husband had to drop the kids into school this morning but refused to as he didn’t want to rearrange a meeting then everyone would be jumping on him (quite rightly).

WTAF?

We had our kids in the late '80s. My DH was an equal parent, and when the kids were ill we took turns as to who stayed home.

He didn't congratulate himself and I didn't congratulate him. It was just how we operated as a couple. The fact that more couples are able to operate that way is a good thing and shows that they'd been real progress in the work place.

Your scorn for a man who plays his part is as sexist as it comes.

Yes this. Although as others are pointing out, it's good that it becomes part of the workplace culture. Would be interested if women are given the same leeway in your office.

I think it’s relevant that he’s male as it rather smacks of male entitlement of “woman rearrange your schedule with no notice to facilitate my life and work”

When, as was usually the case, women had to be late for work due to family issues, would you have thought it smacked of "man rearrange your schedule with no notice to facilitate my life and work” @SnarkyBag ?

I thought not. Again, sexism rears its head because men are apparently always to blame. Even when they do what we've been begging them to do for decades, and take some responsibility for the beginning of the family day.

What? YABU.

I think that's good, and businesses should be flexible around childcare commitments - as long as the same concession is given to female team members and not just to the man heroically looking after his own dc.

OP why are you on here posting about this?!! Sorry, but it's a non issue.

YABU.

I’m sure it was a last minute change (nanny/liftshare/partner ill) and he told you ASAP

Ah now come on - most of mumsnet is a non issue. By this logic the board would cease to exist and we’d all have to go and do something useful.

Meetings get changed all the time. He should not have explained why he needed the time change - that’s the problem too much information.

@Flossiemoss fair point. But honestly feels so trivial . . . off to go and do something useful 😂