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Insane pay rise (but at what other cost)

214 replies

Aliceteacup · 23/01/2023 22:27

understand how hard times are for people at the moment so please know that I’m aware this is very much first world problems but I genuinely can’t talk to my friends / family about this as I can’t bear to discuss the money on the table and so I can’t get proper advice on this at the min.

for clarity I’m going to include the actual two figures on the table here to help paint the picture.

currently consider myself well paid working in my industry for 14 years. I earn £64k a year and this includes 30 days annual leave. I am very well established in the role, well respected and generally never dread work or stress about work. I recognise I work hard and I’m good at my job, other people comment on my ability to handle a very high workload with ease. I’m fairly senior well regarded and happy where I am day to day.

I have an 18 month old baby, been back at work 6 months, my little girl is well into the swing of nursery and I’m loving being back in the routine of work but in the next 2 years I would love to try again for another baby if we’re lucky enough. Maternity leave at my current job is 18 weeks full pay, then 6 weeks half pay then statutory. I took a year off and it was very very tight but doable.

I was headhunted end of last year by a big competitor, and given I have been in my current company so long thought I should go through the motion of the process. I anecdotally knew this company pay very well from a few ex colleagues / well known in the industry that they pay well. I really enjoyed the interview process but it was hard and I had 6 zooms in total, some with global teams and then 2 in person meetings 1 including a presentation.

I got the job offer last week and they are offering me £180k, it is just such a huge salary for me it has blown all my expectations out of the water. I have told my husband who is obviously floored but beyond him I genuinely wouldn’t tell anyone as I feel it is such a grotesquely huge salary compared to other people in my life and at a time like this. The work I do is important work (health related) but still I am fully aware it is way beyond what other people earn. I come from a very normal family mum worked for the council dad was a teacher this is not the type of money I ever dreamed of earning.

so my dilemma is that I know with this salary / title comes a huge step change to my working day. I will admit in this current role I am EXTREMELY comfortable - I barely get stressed, I never have to worry, I know I do a good job and I switch off at 6pm and that’s me for the night. I have it very good. With this new job I fear I am going to feel so under pressure to perform for this salary, I know I am going to need to up the ante considerably.

the company is well known / notorious for being slightly cut throat - this doesn’t bother me too much as I understand that it’s only if I was failing at my job that I would be fired and frankly rightly so. But I am sort of wondering if I am about to walk away from a really nice easy life (still really well paid), and then enter this insanely high paying job but feel the fear of it every day.

hours wise it would be sort of the same but more days in the office which will mean less nursery pick ups and I’m imagining a few more late nights on the laptop when baby is in bed.

maternity policy wise I have to be there 6 months to get it but then once I am through that 6 months their mat leave policy is 9 months full pay! So again if we did want a baby in the next 2 years that’s a huge bonus for our family.

if this were you and you had a young baby at home that your current easy job allowed you to easily pick up / drop off and not worry about work on an evening, would you give it up for this pay rise? The work is exciting and I’m genuinely energised by the thought of it, I know deep down I could do a good job, just already sort of feeling imposter syndrome and wondering if I going to be good enough / what if they fire me within 6 months and we have a mortgage etc.

but then on the flip side I’m thinking I’ve been where I am 14 years, am I at risk of just stagnating here and coasting along comfortably. If I take this and get through 6 months then start trying for a baby I could save such a huge amount of money during my first year there and then subsequent maternity leave that we could put towards mortgage and house and future.

I’ve almost done the maths and thought if I get fired within my probation period (6 months) and save most of the money I’ll have earn’t more in those months than I would have in a year in my current job. So if I did get fired I’d have enough saved to have a bit of time to apply for other things.

would you take the new job and risk it?

(Again really hope this isn’t insensitive during a cost of living crisis I really know it’s obscene money I just could do with some advice from other mums)

OP posts:
PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 23/01/2023 22:30

Well, they don’t pay you £180k for doing nothing so yes, you’re definitely going to up the ante.

sounds exciting though. Congratulations 😊

bumbledeedum · 23/01/2023 22:32

Go for it! Congratulations OP

Uppingham · 23/01/2023 22:33

Take the job. Women often are under paid and you’ve been at your current role so long you’ve probably had pay rises that haven’t kept up with the market rate. I’ve moved jobs a few times and each time pretty much doubled my salary. You’re worth it. They wouldn’t offer it otherwise. Congratulations. If you were a man you wouldn’t hesitate.

LucyWhipple · 23/01/2023 22:33

This sounds amazing OP. Well done! Definitely go for it. Worst case you could always step back again but it’s got to be worth a try.

Just ask yourself - would a man say no?!

wildlifeobserver1 · 23/01/2023 22:37

Absolutely go for it! Even if you do the job for 2-3 years (1 year of Mat leave), and then decide to step side/down to something else, you would have made a bomb!

Namechange123349372 · 23/01/2023 22:40

Definitely take it - amazing opportunity, you’d be mad not to:

Toomuchtoolong · 23/01/2023 22:40

Absolutely do it , you deserve what they offer!! Maybe consider using some of the pay rise to have a few sessions of coaching to help you ward off the imposter syndrome and feel confident in your new role. Congratulations ,you should be so proud of all of your achievements xx

TokyoSushi · 23/01/2023 22:40

Wow, take the job! Even if it's only for a couple of years, congratulations!

Orangebadger · 23/01/2023 22:42

Congratulations!! Go for it!! It sounds like deep down you want to. Do it!!

MeghanThyStallion · 23/01/2023 22:42

Go for it!

I was in the same situation in 2020: had been in the same company for 13 years, worked up the ranks, was very comfortable, got headhunted and was offered double my then-salary. I took the job, covid hit and now I work from home 4 days a week in my pyjamas earning a lot of money in a role I like. There's a lot of responsibility but it's not overwhelming and it's nice to be stretched after a long time of coasting.

Oblomov22 · 23/01/2023 22:42

Wow. Take the job. Well done.

Pumpmonkey · 23/01/2023 22:43

How about you go for it, put all the extra salary in an account you don’t touch for the first 12 months, and then if it all proves too much you have a backup if you want to leave or go back to an easier role? (And if you love it you can really treat yourself with the savings after a year or pay off a nice chunk of your mortgage if you have one)

Rainsdropskeepfalling · 23/01/2023 22:43

Do it.

I believe you need to "reinvent" yourself after 15 years in a role to keep it fresh for you and your employer. So the new job sounds perfect

bumpytrumpy · 23/01/2023 22:44

Their the job!

DONT fall into the trap of working evenings etc. Be the change you want to see. Work hard during the day and then live your life outside. It's only by senior women taking this approach will culture change.

DustyDoorframes · 23/01/2023 22:45

Congratulations!!!! This sounds so
exciting! Two things to quell the internal impostor: you can use some of your extra income to pay for a coach to help you feel
confident, if that appeals. Also remember that your colleagues at the new place are also going to be on huge salaries, you don’t need to be any better than they are. People on 180k are not actually three times better than people on 60k- and if they chose you they think you are worth it! Go you! And thank
you for the taxes you will be paying to fund all those teachers and council workers!

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 23/01/2023 22:46

Wow congratulations! Of course you should take the job, think of the opportunities it can give you! And if it gets too much, you can always step back again after a few years (of saving loads of lovely cash!). You might find you absolutely love it, it sounds like you are more than capable. I can't imagine a man even thinking twice about a chance like this.

Superstar22 · 23/01/2023 22:47

Take the job. You could change all your lives for the better with that type of income. If it’s too much/ stressful/ you could drop a day in the future or ultimately leave. Congratulations

CrispAppleStrudels · 23/01/2023 22:47

I read your new salary as £80k and thought, well that's a nice increase, and then i saw £180k! That's an amazing offer, OP, congratulations!

I'd say go for it. I've recently gone back full time from 3 days a week to be able to save up money for a hopefully second mat leave, and am looking at it as a year or so of hard work + hard saving to be able to give us a more time together after my second mat leave. So think what you would be able to do with another £100k+ that you could save. And as pps have said above, if you put the extra into a savings account, then it will give you options if it really doesn't work out.

MeghanThyStallion · 23/01/2023 22:51

bumpytrumpy · 23/01/2023 22:44

Their the job!

DONT fall into the trap of working evenings etc. Be the change you want to see. Work hard during the day and then live your life outside. It's only by senior women taking this approach will culture change.

This too. I work evenings about five days a year when I'm being audited. Otherwise, everyone knows I work between 8 and 4 and my team work whatever hours suit them. No one is unhappy with this arrangement.

CookieDoughKid · 23/01/2023 22:52

Yes I did it. I had a big jump in my pay, doubled it. Not quite £180k but not far off. I did it for 4 years and mine are now 15 and 13. To be honest, it nearly broke me. These kinds of jobs, you go to bed thinking about work and you wake up thinking about work. It is a lot of pressure, they don't pay the big bucks without expectations and pressure. I had to do some international travel, some days near quarter end it was literally 12hour days in the boardroom. I've decided to resign now and take 6 months off work. I've no job to go to but not worried about taking a pay cut because I've done well in pensions, reducing mortgage off etc..my hubby has an intensive job too and with both of us working all hours and the stress, I felt I wasn't paying enough attention to my kids. Its also a logistical nightmare but fortunately my children are at a more independent age. I think you should take the job and aim for that second maternity pay and break. If you decide to continue you absolutely will need to buy help. Mine were in private nursery x5 days week 7am to 5pm then I had a live in aupair when they were younger when I was working. I worked constantly and really missed them :( . But on the flip side, I think I can now retire at 50 ...and really enjoy them when they are young adults at Uni instead;)

vvork · 23/01/2023 22:53

I'll never in a billion years earn anywhere near that and I'm knackered working all hours... I'm genuinely pleased for you, OP!! You've bloody worked for this and you deserve it. Oh, and YOU CAN DO IT.

Crack on, woman! Go get 'em!!

wtfisgoingonhere21 · 23/01/2023 22:54

@Aliceteacup

Wow op that sounds amazing

Similar thing happened to me not all that long ago in terms of potential much higher earnings for the same or similar role (I've been in my particular field all my working life and have built a reputation)

Well I took the leap and for the first 6 months I had and I admit I do still sometimes get imposter syndrome,HOWEVER I'm starting to realise I am worth it and I also have work time boundaries in place.

Best buy of advice so far from a fairly new y to the higher earnings world is try not to feel like you have to be at beck and call 24/7 because of the salary THEY have offered.

Remember they have offered it on your performance and reputation/ name you have built for yourself

You don't have to prove your worth at all

They would have done plenty of digging around and asking questions and getting feedback before now.

Take the leap and go for it

Handbagsandgladrags81 · 23/01/2023 22:56

Absolutely take the job! Congratulations OP. You are worth it.

ethermint · 23/01/2023 22:57

Could you barter with your current job to see if they would offer more Telling them hiw much you have been offered?

they may not match but could make the current sitaution better paid

EL0ISE · 23/01/2023 22:57

Congratulations ! Take the job and use that money to buy in help for housework and childcare.