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Original poster

Insane pay rise (but at what other cost)

214 replies

Aliceteacup · 23/01/2023 22:27

understand how hard times are for people at the moment so please know that I’m aware this is very much first world problems but I genuinely can’t talk to my friends / family about this as I can’t bear to discuss the money on the table and so I can’t get proper advice on this at the min.

for clarity I’m going to include the actual two figures on the table here to help paint the picture.

currently consider myself well paid working in my industry for 14 years. I earn £64k a year and this includes 30 days annual leave. I am very well established in the role, well respected and generally never dread work or stress about work. I recognise I work hard and I’m good at my job, other people comment on my ability to handle a very high workload with ease. I’m fairly senior well regarded and happy where I am day to day.

I have an 18 month old baby, been back at work 6 months, my little girl is well into the swing of nursery and I’m loving being back in the routine of work but in the next 2 years I would love to try again for another baby if we’re lucky enough. Maternity leave at my current job is 18 weeks full pay, then 6 weeks half pay then statutory. I took a year off and it was very very tight but doable.

I was headhunted end of last year by a big competitor, and given I have been in my current company so long thought I should go through the motion of the process. I anecdotally knew this company pay very well from a few ex colleagues / well known in the industry that they pay well. I really enjoyed the interview process but it was hard and I had 6 zooms in total, some with global teams and then 2 in person meetings 1 including a presentation.

I got the job offer last week and they are offering me £180k, it is just such a huge salary for me it has blown all my expectations out of the water. I have told my husband who is obviously floored but beyond him I genuinely wouldn’t tell anyone as I feel it is such a grotesquely huge salary compared to other people in my life and at a time like this. The work I do is important work (health related) but still I am fully aware it is way beyond what other people earn. I come from a very normal family mum worked for the council dad was a teacher this is not the type of money I ever dreamed of earning.

so my dilemma is that I know with this salary / title comes a huge step change to my working day. I will admit in this current role I am EXTREMELY comfortable - I barely get stressed, I never have to worry, I know I do a good job and I switch off at 6pm and that’s me for the night. I have it very good. With this new job I fear I am going to feel so under pressure to perform for this salary, I know I am going to need to up the ante considerably.

the company is well known / notorious for being slightly cut throat - this doesn’t bother me too much as I understand that it’s only if I was failing at my job that I would be fired and frankly rightly so. But I am sort of wondering if I am about to walk away from a really nice easy life (still really well paid), and then enter this insanely high paying job but feel the fear of it every day.

hours wise it would be sort of the same but more days in the office which will mean less nursery pick ups and I’m imagining a few more late nights on the laptop when baby is in bed.

maternity policy wise I have to be there 6 months to get it but then once I am through that 6 months their mat leave policy is 9 months full pay! So again if we did want a baby in the next 2 years that’s a huge bonus for our family.

if this were you and you had a young baby at home that your current easy job allowed you to easily pick up / drop off and not worry about work on an evening, would you give it up for this pay rise? The work is exciting and I’m genuinely energised by the thought of it, I know deep down I could do a good job, just already sort of feeling imposter syndrome and wondering if I going to be good enough / what if they fire me within 6 months and we have a mortgage etc.

but then on the flip side I’m thinking I’ve been where I am 14 years, am I at risk of just stagnating here and coasting along comfortably. If I take this and get through 6 months then start trying for a baby I could save such a huge amount of money during my first year there and then subsequent maternity leave that we could put towards mortgage and house and future.

I’ve almost done the maths and thought if I get fired within my probation period (6 months) and save most of the money I’ll have earn’t more in those months than I would have in a year in my current job. So if I did get fired I’d have enough saved to have a bit of time to apply for other things.

would you take the new job and risk it?

(Again really hope this isn’t insensitive during a cost of living crisis I really know it’s obscene money I just could do with some advice from other mums)

OP posts:
Nikki305 · 23/01/2023 22:59

I don't think you can say no to this offer!

If it gets too much in the future and you miss your kid(s) too much, do you think they would let you reduce down to part time hours? Even with the pay cut it would still be a huge salary!

Edel12345 · 23/01/2023 23:01

Take the job! If it’s too much you can look at going part time That would still pay more part time than your current role full time… it’s a no brainier ….

congratulations!

Drywhitefruitycidergin · 23/01/2023 23:02

From someone who is still in the comfortable job after 21 years with kids who are now 11 & 8 who chose the safe route due to ex-h cheating & leaving when youngest was 4 months old - if your dh is on board - go for it. Take it, try it, save the difference in salary as plan B.
Interview process prob reflects corporate culture. Good Luck!

SeaToSki · 23/01/2023 23:05

Does your dh have a job where he can do more of the dc care and pick ups/drop offs?

Can you manage your imposter syndrome and work hard but not stress and work insanely

Can you save the extra money (maybe allocate a tiny little more for a cleaner and dry cleaning etc) so that its not a bumpy landing of having to retrench significantly if you want to step back again.

Would you be able to find another job like your current one if you decided to step back having tried it for a year

I think its worth a shot if you can manage these points. Better to have tried and failed than never have tried at all (bad paraphrase!)

Ikeameatballs · 23/01/2023 23:05

Take the job! You would be mad not to!

Notsurenotquiteright · 23/01/2023 23:06

Ask for 20% more than what they are offering.

could you also speak to your current employer about the offer and see how close they can get?

TheBigWangTheory · 23/01/2023 23:06

How could you not take it? You'll be kicking yourself for literally EVER. You wouldn't have got the job if you weren't qualified, and if it turns out its not for you, then so what?
Always better to risk it and lean in.

2023istheyearigetmyacttogether · 23/01/2023 23:06

Take it! What's the worst that can happen?
If you end up doing more hours, then you can buy in help ... cleaner, gardener, window cleaner. If you have a second DC in a couple of years, you could get a nanny when you go back to work with your DC1 continuing at nursery and the nanny doing pick ups, covering sick days and so on. That would be seriously handy when DC1 starts school.

Bekind11 · 23/01/2023 23:07

OP, you must be stunned! That's amazing! Did they ask you what your currently salary was? I often get asked this and then get offered a couple of grand more it hardly seems worth the hassle of moving. Can you tell us what your job is?

AuntieSoap · 23/01/2023 23:07

Take the job! You sound like someone who has got it all sorted. You can do it!

NotABeliever · 23/01/2023 23:07

First of all congratulations OP! Sounds like you did amazing at interview and thoroughly deserve the new job.

But Im going to go against the grain and say, don't take it. It's a great opportunity but the timing is wrong. You have a very young child and want another one. You really don't want this extra pressure right now.

Another opportunity will come up again, when your children are older or when you feel more ready.

Good luck whatever you decide

Kisskiss · 23/01/2023 23:08

Congrats!!! Take the job, it sounds hugely exciting and they wouldn’t have offered it to you if you weren’t equipped for it. When people stay too long in one fir. You sometimes end up underpaid- tbh your current employer might even try to increase your pay when you try to resign

DNBU · 23/01/2023 23:09

Take the job OP. Everything you’re saying it valid but you should take it.

boostedonholiday · 23/01/2023 23:10

Take the job.

  1. Overpay the mortgage, pension and save. This means you'll never fear having to leave a bad situation in a hurry. Huge sense of freedom.
  1. Set boundaries. Don't immediately double your hours and effort because it's more than double the money. It's a trap.
  1. Be really proud of yourself. You earned it. If it doesn't work out you have skills to fall back on.
  1. pay for a cleaner and the occasional taxi home from work.

Good luck and well done.

Binfluencer · 23/01/2023 23:12

Could DH be a SAHP?

America12 · 23/01/2023 23:12

Take it. I'd snatch their hand off.
What is job worth that much of a jump in salary ?

catandcoffee · 23/01/2023 23:17

If you know you can do the job....take it.

Bunce1 · 23/01/2023 23:22

Take it.

With the hike in salary you’ll be able to throw money at the mundane.

cleaner 1/wk
gardener 1/month
more childcare/nanny/au pair
better quality holidays and down time experiences
pension contribution
investments

just think in 5 years what you’ll be worth!

Peckhaminn · 23/01/2023 23:24

Do it OP! That sun of money is substantial, I can't even imagine earning that much. It would take 5 years to save that without touching my wage. Please take it! X

dreamersdown · 23/01/2023 23:25

They obviously think that you can do the job after your comprehensive interview process. I changed sector and while I didn’t have quite so much of a jump, it was comparable - and honestly I work the same amount. Some organisations are just better payers. You go get yours!!

JustGotToKeepOnKeepingOn · 23/01/2023 23:25

Do it. And don't feel like you have to up the ante just because you're being paid your worth. The salary is a shock to you... but not to them! Take it. Enjoy it. Get great maternity benefits. Stay for as long or as little as you like.

wildseas · 23/01/2023 23:28

Take it!!!

remember that organisations offer packages based on your ability on the day of the interview so, work hard and do your best of course, but you are being offered that salary for how you are today.

Why not have a chat with your husband about the idea of him dropping down to 4 days for a year or two even if baby is happy in nursery for 5 days. That would give baby a bit more balance (a short day on his not work day) and you a day when you could max your hours if he was doing everything at home….

Itslookinglikeabeautifulday · 23/01/2023 23:38

Take the job. It sounds a fantastic opportunity and if you find it's not what you want then it would be a phenomenal stepping stone to something else.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 23/01/2023 23:38

What an amazing opportunity for you. Grab it with both hands and make the role your own!

They must see massive potential in you for a salary like that so you should be really proud.

A new, exciting role to sink your teeth into.
A salary that can make a massive difference to your life
A mat package that means you can have a worry free 9 months with a new baby.

What is there not to love...

Congratulations OP, and well done for being successful in your interview - now go and smash it!

BetaMom · 23/01/2023 23:38

Congratulations OP!
I agree with other posters who say try it!

However, I wanted to share a few things I wish I had known earlier:

  1. While the pay increase is very significant, don’t disregard the post tax amount that you will inevitably end up spending to compensate for the demands work will make on your time. You end up paying more in childcare, in cleaning, on taking shortcuts because you have no time (like taxis instead of public transport, opting for private schools or tutoring because you may have less time to do homework with the children yourself, etc). Depending on which field you are in the job may also come with some other expenses on top (e.g., accountants for tax submissions, wardrobe upgrade). It can add up so in the end the difference in income might not all be savings you can set aside. And yes, you may think today that you would never lose touch with reality to the point that you spend on such things but it’s a slippery slope when you are exhausted, have 2 (or three!) children and reach the end of your tether.
  2. You may end up feeling guilt at not being around your children as much as you used to, you may miss moments (some of then you would have missed anyway but it can feel that little bit more painful when you are busy most of the week and just aching to see your children). Some parents get to do pick up and drop off at school every day. If your job is anything like mine then drop offs feel like a special privilege you have to earmark time for once or twice a week and then you get to chit chat with other mothers who seem to know more about what your own child does at school than you do. (That said I also know working parents who hate the practicalities of parenting and are relieved to have good reasons not to do this stuff to often.)
  3. Your children will probably respect and admire you in the long term for your successes but in the short term they can be unhappy with the change and you will find yourself with less patience and less “gas in the tank” to deal with the moments when they act up.
  4. you may change your mind about growing the family (I did!)

Good luck, it is doable and I would not hesitate - but go in with your eyes open!