Insane pay rise (but at what other cost)

[Aliceteacup]

understand how hard times are for people at the moment so please know that I’m aware this is very much first world problems but I genuinely can’t talk to my friends / family about this as I can’t bear to discuss the money on the table and so I can’t get proper advice on this at the min.

for clarity I’m going to include the actual two figures on the table here to help paint the picture.

currently consider myself well paid working in my industry for 14 years. I earn £64k a year and this includes 30 days annual leave. I am very well established in the role, well respected and generally never dread work or stress about work. I recognise I work hard and I’m good at my job, other people comment on my ability to handle a very high workload with ease. I’m fairly senior well regarded and happy where I am day to day.

I have an 18 month old baby, been back at work 6 months, my little girl is well into the swing of nursery and I’m loving being back in the routine of work but in the next 2 years I would love to try again for another baby if we’re lucky enough. Maternity leave at my current job is 18 weeks full pay, then 6 weeks half pay then statutory. I took a year off and it was very very tight but doable.

I was headhunted end of last year by a big competitor, and given I have been in my current company so long thought I should go through the motion of the process. I anecdotally knew this company pay very well from a few ex colleagues / well known in the industry that they pay well. I really enjoyed the interview process but it was hard and I had 6 zooms in total, some with global teams and then 2 in person meetings 1 including a presentation.

I got the job offer last week and they are offering me £180k, it is just such a huge salary for me it has blown all my expectations out of the water. I have told my husband who is obviously floored but beyond him I genuinely wouldn’t tell anyone as I feel it is such a grotesquely huge salary compared to other people in my life and at a time like this. The work I do is important work (health related) but still I am fully aware it is way beyond what other people earn. I come from a very normal family mum worked for the council dad was a teacher this is not the type of money I ever dreamed of earning.

so my dilemma is that I know with this salary / title comes a huge step change to my working day. I will admit in this current role I am EXTREMELY comfortable - I barely get stressed, I never have to worry, I know I do a good job and I switch off at 6pm and that’s me for the night. I have it very good. With this new job I fear I am going to feel so under pressure to perform for this salary, I know I am going to need to up the ante considerably.

the company is well known / notorious for being slightly cut throat - this doesn’t bother me too much as I understand that it’s only if I was failing at my job that I would be fired and frankly rightly so. But I am sort of wondering if I am about to walk away from a really nice easy life (still really well paid), and then enter this insanely high paying job but feel the fear of it every day.

hours wise it would be sort of the same but more days in the office which will mean less nursery pick ups and I’m imagining a few more late nights on the laptop when baby is in bed.

maternity policy wise I have to be there 6 months to get it but then once I am through that 6 months their mat leave policy is 9 months full pay! So again if we did want a baby in the next 2 years that’s a huge bonus for our family.

if this were you and you had a young baby at home that your current easy job allowed you to easily pick up / drop off and not worry about work on an evening, would you give it up for this pay rise? The work is exciting and I’m genuinely energised by the thought of it, I know deep down I could do a good job, just already sort of feeling imposter syndrome and wondering if I going to be good enough / what if they fire me within 6 months and we have a mortgage etc.

but then on the flip side I’m thinking I’ve been where I am 14 years, am I at risk of just stagnating here and coasting along comfortably. If I take this and get through 6 months then start trying for a baby I could save such a huge amount of money during my first year there and then subsequent maternity leave that we could put towards mortgage and house and future.

I’ve almost done the maths and thought if I get fired within my probation period (6 months) and save most of the money I’ll have earn’t more in those months than I would have in a year in my current job. So if I did get fired I’d have enough saved to have a bit of time to apply for other things.

would you take the new job and risk it?

(Again really hope this isn’t insensitive during a cost of living crisis I really know it’s obscene money I just could do with some advice from other mums)

Congratulations, OP. Remember, you were headhunted, so they knew who they were looking for - and you are it. You need to take the job!

Don't doubt yourself; it sounds like you are already working hard and doing well where you are - just do that at the new job too! You've fallen way behind market in the 14 years, and what they are offering is what you are worth, so go for it.

If they have offered you 80k and 9 months full pay maternity you would have been chuffed and taken the job.

Because they offer you 100k more you now question whether you can do it 😂😂😂

Sort yourself out OP! Go earn for the women and enjoy 😊

I'm just coming out of a period of working very very hard whilst my kids are young and honestly I don't think it was worth it. I worked a lot of evenings and weekends and missed out on a lot of family time. If you're very experienced and good at what you do, you can pick a better time to work very hard when your children are a bit older. Your experience and ability isn't going to dissappear into thin air. Before you take it, think what success means for you. Does success mean lots of money? Or does success mean being comfortable and happy and being able to spend time with friends and family. Congratulations on the offer.

And no don’t listen to PP above^ sorry PP!

This is potentially a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Hate it and you can leave, (or get pregnant sooner than planned 😬);

If you don’t do this you will wonder later what if.

You have to try!! Only then will you know what you prefer.

This is a fantastic point.

Take it and congratulate yourself.

I can’t think of anything I’d hate more so you can trust me that this isn’t me trying to live vicariously when I say TAKE IT. The way you write about it makes it clear that it’s what you want so absolutely do it!

FWIW I quit my comfortable easy job for a new scary challenge (nowhere near as much money!) and it has changed my life for the better immensely.

Take the job- it sounds like you're being underpaid in your current role

Go for it. My DH did something fairly similar last summer (not such a big pay rise but the bonus scheme is amazing plus other perks) and while it’s been a big change, and hard on him, 6m in he’s starting to settle and it was such a good move. Congrats!

Take it!

Do your homework on extra costs you'll incur:
You won't be entitled to the free 30 hours childcare anymore.
You'll pay a lot of tax!
Your tax-free savings reduces significantly and you'll pay more tax on any interest you earn on savings
Assume you also get benefits - again any benefits in kind you'll get taxed at a higher rate and your tax free allowance will probably end up near zero.
You'll need to do annual tax returns.
Will you need a new wardrobe?

So get a financial advisor
Check your new benefits package (medical / dental / life insurance / car allowance / bonus / pension / income protection / critical illness / annual health checks - all standard in my industry).

Go for it, you deserve it. I work with a lot of high earners... you soon get used to it and realise it's not that unusual in certain industries. It also doesn't mean you'll work twice as hard!

Congratulations OP!!!! And I'm loving the support on this thread.

There is so much good advice here. I can't improve on it, the point I wanted to make is that your children aren't just your children when they are little. I worked hard for a few years when my children were little. DH was the primary carer. But I took a step back when they were 10 and 7 and we are all enjoying spending more time together. I have no regrets over the earlier years. DH was great; nursery hours are much better than school, and as they grow older they still need us but in a different way. And now, at this age, they are pleased I am there for chats, discussions and to be present and not stressed and snappy. Nothing has to be forever.

I guess what I am saying is if you go for it, you can always pull back if it is too much.

TAKE IT!!

Stop doubting yourself, you went through the lengthy interview process, you proved yourself capable of this role, they wouldn't have offered it to you otherwise.

Stick to decent working times/boundaries and enjoy the thrill of a new role. Start as you mean to go on.

You can do this OP, don't talk yourself out of a life changing possibility through fear.

Trust and believe in yourself, you've got this!

Congratulations

I have nothing useful to add except that I'm fascinated by what type of work can offer such a big difference in salaries for, presumably, not a vastly different job?

Go girl!

Congrats.

I'm going to go against the grain and say I'd rather be in your comfortable lower paid job with young children. My time and energy I'd better spent with them for that relatively short while.

I'd have regrets otherwise.

You aren't me, but that's my opinion.

Yes go for it, but make sure you have concrete times with your baby you don't budge on. You'll never get these years back but also I wouldn't pass up that salary!!

Delighted to see so many positive responses egging you on OP.
I too say ...."go for it".

But, be aware that, for lots of different reasons (tax bands, difference wardrobe code, using taxis and meal options, and childcare) the money you get in your hand won't be as much as you might imagine.

Also, if £180k is their opening offer, do they expect you to ask for £195k? Is there bargaining space, particularly WRT your package? Annual leave, PA, sick pay, pension, bonuses, performance reviews?

100% go for it. Even if you only do it for a few years then step back you'll be able to earn enough to make a massive difference to your family in the long term.

@Aliceteacup
Well done, if it's what you want, go for it.
Wise words from @SunsetBlue - the money on the table is almost three times your current pay, but take home will be nearer double - the Financial Advisor/Accountant will be a good move before you say yes.
At that level of pay, there are often lots of perks and some effort to make it hard for you to leave of your own accord, don't be shy about asking about them after three or four months.
You'll lose your personal tax free allowance and monthly deductions will be eye-watering - you may be tempted to swing by your local hospital to see if they've named a wing after you.
It's a big step up, but nowhere near as hard work as a minimum-wage, single mum with a zero-hours contract. Compare yourself to one of your peers, not all of them, you can't start with the larks and stay with the owls and as others have said, carve out non-negotiable time for the family.
Good luck.

Well done OP. I think if it's worth the stress then go for it. I guess the only thing would be is what woykd an average week look like and would you get time with your family. With that much of a raise you can always outsource mundane housekeeping chores anyway.
Sounds like you've outgrown your current role, so probably time for a change and a challenge anyway. Good on you.

What a load of nonsense - I’m a man, and I’d have exactly the same reservations that the OP is having and would be hesitating.

I'd seriously consider it but go in with a clear idea of where you think your boundaries should be. I did a similar level job and needed a live in nanny to make it work - could you go for that? It makes a huge difference over nursery as if the DC are ill the nanny will still look after them and the right nanny will be prepared to be flexible if you can offer a bit of give and take. WHat really makes the difference though is what your DP does - mine was working abroad all the time so it was really hard. Also the work involved with an extra child is more than double tbh.

Most important of all is to try and make sure you package includes a really good insurance policy to cover your loss of income if you fell sick. I had severe PND after No2 and I don't know what I'd have done if the insurance company hadn't been coughing up for the last 16 years.

I was in a very similar position when mine very tiny and I say go for it. Yes there may be some stressful times initially but if you can get over the initial change in pace/ change to your routine you will be fine. You managed to prove yourself previously and reaped the benefits in your current job, you can do the same again. Congratulations!

Congrats on the offer.

A few thoughts from someone who earned a touch more, albeit before D.C. (I gave up when the first was born, most of my peers didn’t).

For that kind of money, you will at times feel like your employer owns your soul. Nobody pays at that level for a 8-6pm, Mon-Fri role.

You will frequently feel like you have to put your job before your children, that you see your assistant more than you see your husband, that your employer is more demanding than all your children put together.

The women I’ve known to reach this level during their childbearing/ infant years, have paid what they say is a very heavy price. I won’t list the things I know, but it’s a long way from what you describe as your current role.

I and my peers are now approaching retirement (early, at this pay rate). I’m delving into whether it’s all been worth it, with those I know well enough and who stuck it out. So far, mixed responses. Not a single one with D.C. has unreservedly said yes. You never get that time back, and there are profound regrets. BUT, they all say they couldn’t have turned it down either. The dilemma is credible and real and apparent.

Finally, this should be a joint decision with your DH. If you’re on this money at child bearing age, it’s highly likely you will end your working life on a lot more. Your family is changing shape. You need to think ahead to the impact on your marriage of a change in dynamics; of your finances; of your approaches to parenthood and education; maybe even where you live (you won’t want to add a commute onto already long hours, for example). Be prepared for change, both of you.

Good luck.

You want to earn £180k a year and not work any evenings? You’re having a laugh right 😅

also pretty strange comments by the op IMO. For someone being offered that sort of money they are already Calculating how much money they would make when they get sacked within 6 months and if they manage to get past that they are already planning a baby to get the maternity pay? Lol

Op I’d take it, hunker down for the 4 years then reassess if you’d like to continue. If anything having this company on your CV would be a massive benefit by the sounds of it.

In the meantime, outsource EVERYTHING you possibly can, little point in pulling 12 hour days to come back and deal with household drudgery.