To be shit scared I'll loose my job

[SunshineInCorwall]

We have a first come, first served for Christmas and if you work one Christmas Day you get the next off. Most of our team have children under 8.

This year its my turn to work. Howver, that every other Christmas I've been due to work recently, there has been some emergency and I've had to call in a day or so nefore Christmas. Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!

Just overheard two colleagues seriously talking about whether they "take the hit now" and offer to swap with me now or which one will be on call to cover me over Christmas, so they can manage expectations for their kids, they seemed really worried as noth have had to step in on a previous Christmas. Our team leader also overheard and just said to them that she's "aware" and will move heaven and to protect their break. (she's already working running the whole dept over Christmas so won't see her children at all, so not sure what that means)

I'm shit scared that something will happen and I will loose my job. What can I do? My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.

Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?

This!

you can’t blame your colleagues. It’s happened every year so far.

But he's a great dad

I'm going to scream. I know you lot want to join me. I'll be over in the He's A Great Dad echo space. Where "he's a great dad" echoes off the walls for all eternity along with the screaming.

You’re the kind of person that means some people think of us working parents as flakes. I have worked with people like you, couldn’t be clearer that work is bottom of the list of priorities.

you shouldn’t lose your job as you haven’t done anything wrong (yet) but really, stop taking the piss and turn up for the job you’re paid to do.. And your husband sounds like a useless, pathetic man child.

Someone with depression can be a good parent whilst having some glaring issues due to DEPRESSION. I assume all the hater on this thread have perfect mental health and just don’t get it.

You are the worst kind of colleague to have tbh. I've worked in healthcare, there's always a member of staff like you.
Calls in sick every Saturday. Calls in sick every Christmas. every NYE.
Tbh I think you're bullshitting and had 0 intention of working Christmas this year either but now know you've been rumbled by your colleagues.
If they sacked you, I wouldn't blame them.

Second round of screaming for grown adults who use the word "haters" without irony.

Yes, I have a history of depression and anxiety (isn't it a requirement on here?). I still keep my kids alive when I have to.

But it’s not about your performance. It is about your piss taking unacceptable attendance, which everyone presumably already knows about as they’re covering for you.

Wrong actually.

Is this healthcare? Your husband is a baby, working Xmas day isn't that bad , you get double pay (I do) a nice dinner and it's normally quiet. Muck in its the right thing to do.

If you can't commit to working Christmas unsociable hours join the bank/ agency so you can pick your own shifts.

Look we’ve all worked with people who are lovely people who as a person we like a lot but as colleagues are lazy, shit and unreliable to work with. Every workplace has one and in your place it seems it’s you. Surely you understand how other people feel? You never offer to help them out or swap, but expect them to bail you out and cover for you. It’s not a great trait in a workmate.

Ok either you have a controlling DH who is manipulating you to not work Christmas Day or you are the sort of colleague whose Granny has already died 3 times since February.

I have sympathy if it's the former - but it still isn't your colleague problem to solve. Get your self over to the relationships board, do the freedom programme or whatever it takes to build a better life for you and your DC.

If it's the latter, I've worked with your type. I wouldn't let patients go without care, but I would be gunning for you. And yes, I would be going down a formal disciplinary route.

@ReneBumsWombats i guess we have to agree to disagree. I have bipolar and when ill I barely keep myself alive ( I know I will kill myself one day) let alone anyone else.

While I'm sorry to hear about anyone's poor health and genuinely wish you a full recovery:

a) this isn't about you

b) it doesn't make OP's husband the legendary "great dad"

c) you aren't going to guilt trip me over it and it's tasteless to try.

You can’t ‘recover’ from bipolar it is a lifelong condition.

Sorry, I missed the part in the thread where OPs husband has bipolar?

Or are you just projecting your own feelings onto a thread that has zero relevance to your situation?

My apologies for clumsy wording. What I meant was, I hope you get the support you need and can manage your condition as well as is possible.

It still isn't anything for me to feel guilty about and I think it's poor taste to try.

You called in sick (again) because your husband was ill? Unless he’d had a major life-threatening event, you’re so unreasonable. I can’t believe you’ve heard their conversation and your conclusion is that it’s an opportunity to get another Christmas off work.

Everyone is piling onto a poster who says her DH is unwell and saying he isn’t unwell, it is possible that she can’t leave her children with alone with him.

I have had several employees like you op. I bet you have issues/illnesses that prevent you from working bank holidays and know the sickness policy inside out so you know how much leeway you have until you get pushed onto the absence plan.
I too think you were going to call in again and that is why you are thinking about asking co workers swap instead.
Heres an idea, work your shift. If your husband is so useless he can’t work maybe think about how skiving off another xmas will be a cemented pattern and you probably will get a disciplinary of some sort. Your co workers need an xmas they can enjoy.

She needs to find a solution then, if that’s the case, not that she’s said he can’t be left with them but that he doesn’t cope with “big events”. Repeatedly not showing up for work is not the answer to this problem. How does she manage school holidays etc? Why is it only Christmas that’s a problem?

I know you've stepped away from this thread but op on the off chance that you're still reading, here's what I think you can do to help yourself:

1 - get your husband some counselling for his depression.

1. If I were you, I'd look for a different job because you have lost the trust of your team. That's going to be impossible to recover tbh.

3 - don't talk to your team about the situation, prove to them that you're a team player because atm you're not a team player.

4 - if your home situation is preventing you from fulfilling your contractual duties, then look for a remote job.

5 - your team have been observing you & know that you're not pulling your weight so that's what your boss means. They also know that it's no good talking to you because you'll pull out of working Christmas day anyway so they're putting plans in place to cover the dept.

Personally I'd like to know what steps he is taking to try to manage his condition so he can watch his children while his wife, the sole earner, is at work. I'd also like to know how they handle it on non school days that aren't Christmas.

So your kids or husband has 'Conveniently' been ill over Christmas.....
It sounds like an excuse to me.
I feel for your colleagues who are having their christmases with their children ruined due to you weasling out of your share.

Move jobs if you need Christmas so badly.
Assuming a care home, or stables, or hospitality something that needs staff present 365 days a year.

If your husband is just a martyr to the sniffles, leave him to it. Short of hospitalisation, if the kids are poorly leave him to it.

If his mental health means that he is a danger to your children if left alone with them, then your family needs urgent support around safeguarding.

If your husband can't parent and you don't have family support, get a job with regular chldcare hours.

Cannot believe you are genuinely considering a request to swap shifts.