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Original poster

To be shit scared I'll loose my job

331 replies

SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 16:07

We have a first come, first served for Christmas and if you work one Christmas Day you get the next off. Most of our team have children under 8.

This year its my turn to work. Howver, that every other Christmas I've been due to work recently, there has been some emergency and I've had to call in a day or so nefore Christmas. Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!

Just overheard two colleagues seriously talking about whether they "take the hit now" and offer to swap with me now or which one will be on call to cover me over Christmas, so they can manage expectations for their kids, they seemed really worried as noth have had to step in on a previous Christmas. Our team leader also overheard and just said to them that she's "aware" and will move heaven and to protect their break. (she's already working running the whole dept over Christmas so won't see her children at all, so not sure what that means)

I'm shit scared that something will happen and I will loose my job. What can I do? My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.

Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?

OP posts:
LadyWithLapdog · 09/12/2022 16:21

Come on, you know this is taking the piss. Is it your turn to be sick this year?

Rebootnecessary · 09/12/2022 16:21

I'm not sure I understand. Would you be asking them to swap to ensure they're working rather than might be?

I think a better way would be to reassure your colleagues and your line manager that you have put your own contingency plans in place to make sure you will be at work and to protect their time off instead.

Unicorn717 · 09/12/2022 16:22

You have to have time off because your husband is Ill? Do you have stay off every other time he's ill in the year too or just over Christmas so you can all be together?

I get emergencies happen and you can't help that but I'd be fuming if I got called up last minute to work a Christmas I wasn't planned to.

inigomontoyahwillcox · 09/12/2022 16:23

Why did you not work when your kids were sick? Is your husband so incompetent that he can't take care of his own kids for a day?

SuperCamp · 09/12/2022 16:23

If you are shit scared you will lose your job ( a realistic fear, tbh) the answer is to impress upon your DH that no matter what happens you will be working and he will have to cope.

After calling other colleagues to cover in recent years how on earth does asking them to miss Christmas AGAIN help them trust you, or re-build the trust and confidence of your manager?

Go.To.Work

CryCeratops · 09/12/2022 16:25

Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?

How will this help? Your colleagues are concerned that you’re unreliable and won’t work over Christmas. You asking them to swap just in case something happens will reinforce that impression.

I’d be trying to think of other backup options for help if there’s some sort of minor emergency at home, because you making sure you’re working your shifts at Christmas is the best way forward if you’re worried about keeping your job.

Azandme · 09/12/2022 16:25

If you don't work this one you deserve to be sacked. Your colleagues have young children too, and you've already allowed your husband's failure to adult to ruin their Christmases previously!

If your husband is so incompetent he cannot look after his own children, why would you have kids with him. I'd like to bet it's learned helplessness coupled with an enabling wife. He "can't" cope because he's never expected to.

If he's so incompetent perhaps you should give up work and be his full time Mummy. 🙄

Butitsnotfunnyisititsserious · 09/12/2022 16:26

Stop being so selfish. Your husband is an adult. If you do call in sick again, tbh I hope you do lose your job and your co workers get a better colleague.

1001Daffodils · 09/12/2022 16:26

Realistically because of your husband's inability to be an adult, even if you were taken seriously ill this Christmas no one would believe you.

You've enabled a reputation for being unreliable at a suspicious time of year. Turn up, do your job and try to banish your reputation (that'll take a while!).

Unicorn717 · 09/12/2022 16:26

Also please don't ask someone to swap a shift with you, it will look like you've already planned to call in and say you can't do it. Just go to work ffs.

TerrazzoChips · 09/12/2022 16:27

Honestly if you were my colleague I would be hoping you did lose your job. And if I managed you I’d be trying to manage you out. It’s so bad for whole teams/departments/staff morale when the workloads/crappy tasks are so unevenly distributed.

I don’t suppose you offered to work any extra weekends/nights/bank holidays/half terms after being so flaky the last few years did you? If you’d gone out of you want to make sure both colleagues got first choice half term leave AND you did the whole Easter BH etc that might have mitigated things. Did you do this?

trailerandtractor · 09/12/2022 16:27

My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.
Maybe your husband needs to be not so useless if it’s likely to cost you your job.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/12/2022 16:27

I call bullshit.

You were planning on calling in sick all along but your colleague’s conversation has worried you.

You thought they didn’t mind. Now you know they do.

You want to ‘swap’ because you’ve already made your Christmas plans and they don’t involve going into work.

I’ve worked with plenty of people like this.

If you don’t want to work Christmas find a job that doesn’t require you to.

Overthebow · 09/12/2022 16:29

You have to work this one no matter what. Do not ask to swap, just go to work when you’re meant to. So unfair on your colleagues.

rookiemere · 09/12/2022 16:29

How many times have you cancelled working on Christmas Day and what were the actual reasons?

girlmom21 · 09/12/2022 16:30

emeraldcity2000 · 09/12/2022 16:18

I'm confused - why do you want to swap? The chances are no one will be sick surely?

Because some people are horrifically selfish and will move heaven and earth to protect themselves

RoseBucket · 09/12/2022 16:30

Jesus Christ why do some men get away with that shit whilst everyone else has to run around, I don’t get it ?!

TiddleyWink · 09/12/2022 16:30

Yes you will and should lose your job if an emergency ‘happens’ to come up at Christmas to prevent you taking your turn working AGAIN.

Either your husband is a waste of space and you should divorce him to avoid setting a hideous example of a relationship to your kids, or you’re exaggerating his uselessness as an excuse to skive from work. Which is it?

skilpadde · 09/12/2022 16:31

Oh, OP, imagine telling on yourself like this.

You sound like an awful colleague.

Stop it with the mock-coy "Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!" excuse-making.

Sort the source of the problem, i.e. your husband, instead of expecting your colleagues to pick up the slack yet again.

CocoLux · 09/12/2022 16:31

Your poor colleagues! You really can't flake out again this year OP. At the very least it'll make you extremely unpopular.

BeReet · 09/12/2022 16:31

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/12/2022 16:27

I call bullshit.

You were planning on calling in sick all along but your colleague’s conversation has worried you.

You thought they didn’t mind. Now you know they do.

You want to ‘swap’ because you’ve already made your Christmas plans and they don’t involve going into work.

I’ve worked with plenty of people like this.

If you don’t want to work Christmas find a job that doesn’t require you to.

My thoughts exactly!

DingDangMintyBells · 09/12/2022 16:31

So because you have been ill in the past you are considering asking someone to cover you this year? Surely is is easier to get someone to care for dc on Christmas Day as most people (husband, parents etc) are off and all together.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 09/12/2022 16:32

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/12/2022 16:27

I call bullshit.

You were planning on calling in sick all along but your colleague’s conversation has worried you.

You thought they didn’t mind. Now you know they do.

You want to ‘swap’ because you’ve already made your Christmas plans and they don’t involve going into work.

I’ve worked with plenty of people like this.

If you don’t want to work Christmas find a job that doesn’t require you to.

I'm thinking this as well

StickyCricket · 09/12/2022 16:33

If it wasn’t for the husband in this story I’d have sworn you were my SIL, she’s already building up to having this Christmas off sick, with a bad back this time.

Your colleagues are on tenterhooks already mentally preparing for their Christmas to be spoiled because of you, and your line manager is pulling out all the stops, not seeing her own children to ensure your colleagues break is protected this time.

You are that colleague. If I were you I’d start looking for a job that didn’t require you to work Christmas. I think it would be a relief all round.

squashgummies · 09/12/2022 16:34

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/12/2022 16:27

I call bullshit.

You were planning on calling in sick all along but your colleague’s conversation has worried you.

You thought they didn’t mind. Now you know they do.

You want to ‘swap’ because you’ve already made your Christmas plans and they don’t involve going into work.

I’ve worked with plenty of people like this.

If you don’t want to work Christmas find a job that doesn’t require you to.

Agree with this.