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Original poster

To be shit scared I'll loose my job

331 replies

SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 16:07

We have a first come, first served for Christmas and if you work one Christmas Day you get the next off. Most of our team have children under 8.

This year its my turn to work. Howver, that every other Christmas I've been due to work recently, there has been some emergency and I've had to call in a day or so nefore Christmas. Kids sick, DH sick, you know real life!

Just overheard two colleagues seriously talking about whether they "take the hit now" and offer to swap with me now or which one will be on call to cover me over Christmas, so they can manage expectations for their kids, they seemed really worried as noth have had to step in on a previous Christmas. Our team leader also overheard and just said to them that she's "aware" and will move heaven and to protect their break. (she's already working running the whole dept over Christmas so won't see her children at all, so not sure what that means)

I'm shit scared that something will happen and I will loose my job. What can I do? My husband is wonderful but useless so can't leave him to anything.

Would you quietly approach colleagues and ask them to swap?

OP posts:
Coffeepot72 · 09/12/2022 18:43

OP, I have a colleague like you. We don’t work Christmas thankfully, but she’s as flakey as hell, and recently suggested that on the days she due to work, we have an extra person rostered on, just in case she can’t make it ………

MrsBahHumbug · 09/12/2022 18:45

I’m wondering what the OP does the rest of the year for time off if her children are sick if her husband is useless? Or does this ‘sickness’ just appear at Christmas?

Gingersnappy · 09/12/2022 18:46

Your husband needs to be a father. Depression or not, he does not work, and he laid down with you and got you pregnant--he needs to step up to the plate. There's no reason anyone other than the father himself should be watching your kids while you work, especially on a holiday which he should want to enjoy with his children. And you need to be a better employee and stop enabling your husband to use his mental illness as a crip to get out of being a father and an adult in general. There's nothing you need to discuss with your boss, just show up to work on your scheduled turn.

BatshitBanshee · 09/12/2022 18:47

You absolutely don't ask colleagues to swap now, I cannot believe an adult is even asking that. You take responsibility and you work your shifts. You're that person at work and your colleagues have sussed it. And if your line manager says that then I'm going to guess you bow out of more than the Xmas shift.

How about you move heaven and earth to work this one and then find another role that means you don't have to work Christmas - more so that no one else will be let down by you bowing out.

BirdyWoof · 09/12/2022 18:49

This sort of shit really pisses me off. You sound incredibly self absorbed.

Especially owing to the fact your initial reaction was to get them to swap now rather than actually just showing up. And then admitting you never offered a Christmas swap when it was your turn to have it off. So utterly selfish.

I don’t believe your mention re. depression because it would have been included in your opening post. You wouldn’t have left out something so important, unless, of course, you’ve added it in to garner sympathy.

IMO, you're using your husband/family as an excuse to get Christmas off every year.

You need to work it. Also, as other PPs have said, your Co workers definitely do not like you. People tend to have flexibility where they’ll tolerate things like this, but then it just becomes a joke, you lose their respect and they just dislike you. Sounds like it’s finally happened.

No point crying about it and acting the victim, you brought it on yourself. People like you will always have that mentality and I guarantee when you speak to your manager you’ll be trying to get Christmas off with a sob story.

You need to grow up.

Saurus72 · 09/12/2022 18:49

I have colleagues like you OP - there’s always reasons why they can’t do x, y or z. They are completely unreliable and people roll they’re eyes if they have to work with them. Everyone has real life to deal with, only a minority let it impact on so many others. I would really hate to be your colleague I’m afraid.

BarryK3nt · 09/12/2022 18:49

Look I’m not being funny but just go to work and do your job on Christmas Day, it sounds like you’re already trying to think up excuses.

Lemonlady22 · 09/12/2022 18:51

I worked with someone like this, did my head in, wanted to work 3 shifts (mon Tues weds)on the last week of every school term, and then three shifts at end of every school holiday (fri sat sun) so nearly had a month off if she took two weeks annual leave, no thought for any one else, always pulled a sickie if it didn’t go her way. Always booked her annual leave as soon as she could, always had every half term, all of august with her ‘clever’ idea, Easter holidays were always hers, selfish moo, ‘ I’ve got children’ she would bleat…as I said did my head in!

VariantHela · 09/12/2022 18:53

You sound like a liability at work and I'd be annoyed to. Pull up your Big girl socks and work the shifts you're supposed to, it isn't fair to your colleagues.

Littlewhitecat · 09/12/2022 18:54

You are THAT colleague. We all wonder if the useless colleague knows that we think they are useless and you've kind of helped here by confirming what we all think - the useless colleague thinks we aren't on to them and that their lives are so much more difficult than ours , and you'd love to come to work but your life is sooooo much harder than ours. You are a nightmare OP and if you worked for me I'd be managing you out. I bet you are mediocre at your job the rest of the time. Step up or fuck off.

Jaybird43 · 09/12/2022 18:58

I had a colleague like you, @SunshineInCorwall and she was barely ever at work. When she was, she was over reacting about feeling unwell and would go off sick again. She was meant to work a Christmas shift but I had to be on standby as a back up so couldn’t make concrete plans with my family in case I had to work and, surprise surprise, she flaked AGAIN on Christmas Day. She was fired not long after.

StickyCricket · 09/12/2022 18:59

Littlewhitecat · 09/12/2022 18:54

You are THAT colleague. We all wonder if the useless colleague knows that we think they are useless and you've kind of helped here by confirming what we all think - the useless colleague thinks we aren't on to them and that their lives are so much more difficult than ours , and you'd love to come to work but your life is sooooo much harder than ours. You are a nightmare OP and if you worked for me I'd be managing you out. I bet you are mediocre at your job the rest of the time. Step up or fuck off.

Not only that - they also think they are very well liked. Grin

Littlebluedinosaur · 09/12/2022 19:00

Just work the shift.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/12/2022 19:02

magma32 · 09/12/2022 18:22

Oh right so he has depression, is he on medication and/or seeking therapy seeing as it’s apparently impacting him from doing basic tasks. Or maybe he’s useless without the mental health issues.

I know plenty of women with mental health issues due the most horrific past traumas but they’re still having to get on with it and manage to keep their kids fed and well on a daily basis, not just for one day but somehow it’s only men that can’t seem to function when you need them to.
It’s interesting. I have a feeling you’re making excuses for him as if he had a debilitating mental health issue that is stopping him from looking after the kids you would have mentioned that and you certainly would not have called him useless.

It is true that most women just get on with it. I get it’s hard. I’ve had deep depression but it looks as though this situation has gone on for years.

Lemonlady22 · 09/12/2022 19:02

SunshineInCorwall · 09/12/2022 17:40

Thank you everyone, I can see how this is damaging my reputation, especially as I have never previously offered or agreed to swap shifts at Christmas to others.

I'm going to ask my mum to stay over Christmas to help out if needed.

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

And just to be clear I would NEVER use COVID as an excuse.

She’s gonna use covid as an excuse!

girlmom21 · 09/12/2022 19:05

I will also talk to my boss next week to see what I can do.

Your job, hun.
Turn up for your scheduled shifts on time. Work them efficiently.

CarefreeMe · 09/12/2022 19:05

Using someone’s mental health as an excuse to get out of working on Christmas is one of the worst things I’ve ever heard.

This is a regular thing - so why not get a different job?
I know many places that don’t open on Christmas.

As someone who suffered horrendous PND and was a single parent with zero help. I think it’s absolute BS that your DH can’t watch his own kids when they’re ill.

You are just saying that as you know that work can’t ask for proof or imply to your face that you are lying.

DarkDarkNight · 09/12/2022 19:07

Your colleagues shouldn’t have to cover for you because your husband is useless, that’s really not fair on them. When they have covered for you on the past have you offered to do their Christmas the year after? I can see why they’re annoyed.

CarefreeMe · 09/12/2022 19:07

it’s only men that can’t seem to function when you need them to.

It’s interesting. I have a feeling you’re making excuses for him as if he had a debilitating mental health issue that is stopping him from looking after the kids you would have mentioned that and you certainly would not have called him useless.

I don’t think it’s just him that’s the problem.

I think OP just says it’s his MH so she can have Christmas off and work can’t say no.

choochooandspook · 09/12/2022 19:11

FinalPushh · 09/12/2022 16:47

Jeez this has to be a joke right? Hmm

I agree this has got to be a wind up

Pandorapitstop · 09/12/2022 19:13

Make work your favourite.

ConnieTucker · 09/12/2022 19:13

My husband is wonderful but useless
🤔

Nymeria6 · 09/12/2022 19:14

I'm sorry but I'd hate to work with you. You want to arrange cover now incase something comes up. Its actually laughable that you think your colleagues don't deserve a day off. Can you imagine how much strain you have placed on your colleagues and their families when they've had to cover you because your DP is sick etc.

I don't think it would be worth going back if you did it again this year.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 09/12/2022 19:15

I have depression.

I go days without brushing my hair and teeth. Today I’ve not got out of bed. Literally MN and TT all day.

I’m exhausted and I ache.

Tomorrow I start work at 9am and finish at 10pm Sunday.

It’ll be hard. Really hard. But I make the best of it and have already planned fun activities to do at work so everyone’s included and we have a lovely weekend. (I work with adults with LD).

I’m a big girl with a family and a mortgage to pay. People at work need me. I have to go.

Your DH has to heave himself out of his slump and care for his children. That is a thing he needs to do.

LIZS · 09/12/2022 19:15

Prove them wrong by showing up to your shift and offering to cover others as needs be. Dh will cope, depressed or not.

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