I lied

[Smile03]

Before I get any hate I want to say I know I am in the wrong.

We had a virtual away day booked in for the whole organisation and I had a meeting which overlapped by 15 minutes.

My manager was unaware about the first meeting and I lied and told her it was about HR/ date protection.

She has then investigated this and has been told no I was not in a HR meeting.

I then repeated I was.

My manager has said she will be getting HR advice now.

I am planning on going in and telling the truth tomorrow but want to know can I get fired for this?

I work for this Civil Service

Oh I see, you were the mentee. OK, then yes don't say it was an HR meeting, just be honest and say you were a bit embarrassed and made up some guff on the spot to cover it up. And to the posters saying that the manager was over-managing by speaking to HR about it, if someone in my team told me there was an HR issue involving another team member, especially one related to data privacy, I'd also speak to HR to find out why I hand't been told about it, if it was someone I was line managing, which the OP's lie made it sound like it was. And you really need to work on your confidence, there was no reason for the lie in the first place.

Oh op
You silly sausage

If I was your manager that last bit would piss me right off.
It sounds a bit manipulative and “poor me”

It was wrong, you know that and admitting so should go in your favour. Stress over work or family worries can cause us to do things that’s out of character. I wish you well tomorrow but please learn from this.

You not only lied but you also embellished the lie by making up a reason for the HR meeting.
You have such a fear of criticism that lying seems to be a better option.
This same fear of criticism stopped you contacting the Mentor and asking them to change the time of the meeting as you had a whole organisation meeting.
Is the Mentor in a different Organisation then?

Ermmmm your manager can probs see your calendar you know

It kind of is a HR issue, and could be protected by data protection - at a stretch.

I'd turn it back round on her about checking up on you.

Lying seems a real jump. You signed up to a work based mentorship scheme. You told your boss hr thing which I think would cover it. She queried it and you didn’t explain. I’d just be honest and say you had signed up and apologise for any confusion bits it’s a work scheme. It wasn’t like you were somewhere you shouldn’t. Have a good think about why you didn’t just say mentor meeting.

I think dragging someone else into your lie is the serious bit. Did you name this colleague?

I can’t see how that would help. It’s the manager’s job to check on employees.

If you have worked there since 2019 they can’t just fire you. They need to do a full investigation and disciplinary process. I think dismissing you for this would be disproportionate, if I was you I’d explain that you felt nervous about the real reason and thought it would be classed as a HR meeting (at my company HR run the mentoring scheme, not sure about civil service) It’s difficult that you lied about the data protection part but I would just profusely apologise.

Hi OP, sorry this is making you so anxious. A bit more context would help - roughly which bit of the civil service are you in, and is there a wider context to your worries (e.g any ongoing issues with your manager)?

FWIW I’m a senior manager in the civil service, and would be gutted if anyone in my team was feeling this way about their work and relationship with their manager. Some quick thoughts:

• unless there’s a massive extra back story you definitely won’t get fired for this
• seeking out a mentor is a brilliant thing to do - shows initiative, wanting to improve and progress, taking charge of your own development - no need to feel embarrassed at all
• it’s ok to say that you didn’t want to rearrange the mentoring meeting, and felt it was confidential, so in the moment, just said HR meeting. A decent manager would accept this as a lesson now learnt, whilst encouraging you to talk openly about your development plans in future
• also ok to ask your mentor to change meeting times if it’s a time you can’t make (eg for an all team session) - those sessions are supposed to work for both of you
• you seem super anxious! You will have access to an employee assistance programme which can sort out CBT/counselling if you think it would help - completely confidential and you don’t have to tell your manager

if all of that sounds completely alien to you (or their are wider issues you haven’t mentioned) then it sounds like you have a duff manager. Have a think about whether there is anyone else you can go to for advice/support generally (your mentor might be one). Best of luck!

Jesus Christ.

If you just lied to cover the nature of your meeting honesty is the best policy and it will probably get resolved quickly.
If you have thrown suspicion on someone else relating to a data protection issue that's much more serious.
If the later all you can do is apologise but you expect to be disciplined. The second scenario is much more serious.

I’ve read all of your posts but not the full thread. I work in civil service.

You will not get fired for this. Overlapping meetings is a total non-issue, it happens. You shouldn’t have lied but it’s not the end of the world. I understand why you were embarrassed to say you were being mentored, in your position I would have also been vague/ made up a different meeting/ not specified the exact nature of the meeting, not that my manager ever would’ve asked. Your manager was ridiculous to check up on you, I wouldn’t dream of checking up on my reportees like this, I’ve got too many other things to do. I’m sorry this is making you feel so anxious.

No please don't say you were lying! Just email her explaining, "Sorry for the mix up regarding the nature of the meeting, which conflicted with the virtual away day. It was actually a meeting with my mentor. Apologies for the confusion." Do not say you were lying!

Also, as a senior manager in civil service too, Zitouna’s advice is good.

I don't work for CS but I have managed teams in the past. I'd be really worried, as your manager, that you could lie your way so easily and extravagantly, out of a minor situation. I'd wonder what you were capable of in more serious situations. Are you prone to telling whoppers? However, that said, I can't see that this is worthy of dismissal. Be very contrite tommorrow. I hope it goes better than you are expecting.

This^

I work within HMCTS and i’m a HEO/Band C.

My main issue is i’ve lied 2 times.

I’m in a team of 3 others but also cover another area where there are 2 people but they have a different manager.

My manager invited the second manager into the teams call - Not sure why but that’s made me feel more rubbish how everyone will know I lied.

I’ve given up on the menteeship and have asked to be removed from the programme.

She said she would categorically never allow someone to be late to the away day as a lot of effort was put into it.

I’m so afraid of the way our relationship will be strained once the truth comes out - Like how will I sit in the office

P.s I should add although i’m a HEO i don’t manage anyone.

I wouldn’t give up on the mentor scheme - sounds like you absolutely need it!

I’ve given up on the menteeship and have asked to be removed from the programme.

Why have you given it up?

Can you not do it but just make sure it doesn’t clash with your current job.

I don’t understand why you have given up mentorship scheme.
Surely if being late to team away day is not an option just rearrange your mentor time. Yes it’s first one but day job compulsory meeting covers it.

Could they think there’s something really concerning happening as your reaction seems all out of proportion.
You were doing a positive thing by joining mentor scheme.