Does anyone manage someone with autism? Looking for advice.

[MadameFantabulosa]

I manage someone who says they are “probably” autistic, but no formal diagnosis. They are quite quirky, bright and good at their job, but absolutely do not “get” social cues. For example they will drone on for hours about a niche subject that is only of interest to them, and don’t get that people are bored. They don’t have “two way conversations” - it’s a monologue, so the other person can’t get a word in edgewise and they never ask questions to get a two way flow. At social functions (we go to a lot of social functions, some quite formal), they don’t interact with other people, and don’t seem to understand when the event is over and they have to leave - eg pouring more drinks when everyone else has gone.

This behaviour will almost certainly hold them back in their career. But how to approach it? Via OH or HR? I don’t feel equipped for the conversation.

@JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue I can go to OH or HR for advice without naming the individual.

Adjustments need to be reasonable. I can’t adjust an entire job (not in this case anyway) unless we make them solely responsible for reports and spreadsheets, and again this wouldn’t be a fast route to promotion. And I sense they would be miserable without some of the social/networking side of work. If we said they didn’t need to do it, they would (rightly) feel sidelined.

@JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue they can make reasonable adjustments absolutely but you can not change the fact that for many roles being able to work as part of a team and communicate is a major part of a role - particularly as you move up the ranks. You simply can not do the role whatever adjustments are made if you are unable to manage this. Thats a fact. The OP is trying to find a way to help so that this doesn't inhibit his progress. He has potential but without some adjustments to his behaviour he wont succeed. I have had to adjust my behaviour considerably at work. It is very very hard - exhausting sometimes - but it is achievable.

You seem very ignorant as to GDPR - "I won't name them" is not good enough

And also ignorant as to what adjustments there could be. What is reasonable is your perception, not a courts. No one is asking you to change the job - there's other adjustments you probably haven't considered.

I hope this ends up in court now.

Ps it is literally my job to advise organizations on making adjustments.

[quote MadameFantabulosa]@JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue I can go to OH or HR for advice without naming the individual.

Adjustments need to be reasonable. I can’t adjust an entire job (not in this case anyway) unless we make them solely responsible for reports and spreadsheets, and again this wouldn’t be a fast route to promotion. And I sense they would be miserable without some of the social/networking side of work. If we said they didn’t need to do it, they would (rightly) feel sidelined.[/quote]
If the person can be identified from what you say then GDPR applies.

You can’t disclose a disability without their consent it’s considered special category data.

@starlingdarling

Not sure why you're receiving all this hate. I worked in a job that hinged on networking. I wasn't suited to it so left but the incidents you describe sound like the sort of person who'd be shuffled out sideways without a second thought. I find it nice that you give enough of a shit to ask how to help the employee.

Me too. Many socially awkward people have no idea what they’re doing to put others off and would appreciate pointers from an appropriate person (ie not a random know-all but perhaps an employer with their interests at heart -like OP).

She doesn't have to say he has a disability because officially he hasn't so she is not disclosing anything. Likewise if he did have one HR would know - so again no issue.

@JenniferAlisonPhilipaSue so what reasonable adjustments would you suggest, given your background and expertise?

I have 70+ people working under me so HR would not be able to guess who it was.

Every individual is different is my first piece of advise, not every autistic person has the same barriers and I'd speak to the actual disabled person, not you, before making recommendations. Education goes a long way so arrange that first for yourself and your colleagues.

Whether they can guess or not who it is = you're breaking the law. For the love of god, get educated first or you'll find yourself in a heap of trouble.

asiam.ie/advice-guidance/employment/employer-guide-for-employing-autistic-adults/

This is an Irish organisation run largely by members of the autistic community leading autism awareness in various aspects and they have some good practical advice for autistic employers and autistic adults.

I hate this thread but Mumsnet keeps notifying me of new replies. (Yes, I will switch that off).

I repeat my suggestions given many pages ago. Support the employee to seek a formal diagnosis first (if they want it) as without that this is all pure speculation anyway. They might not even be autistic.

What happens if the person doesn't get a formal diagnosis? How does the OP handle the employee then?

It's a minefield OP and you sound like you are trying.

You don't need to have a formal diagnosis to meet the legal definition of disabled and receive adjustments. Anyone failing to provide adjustments without 'proof' could well end up in court. Assume they are and follow a best practice approach. That way you are covering your ass.

How do you get “officially” disabled for work purposes?

(Answer: you don’t)

Like any employee I would set targets during regular supervisions. So I would ask them to ask one question during each conversation so that he can receive feedback and be open to others ideas. Give him examples of the sort of questions he can ask and support him with the first steps. Once he had got to grips with this target move on to the next target which could be time management to assist with ending conversations. The most important thing is that he is a great employee and has lots of potential. Like other employees you want to support him to reach his potential

I'm officially disabled for work with something obvious so no one has ever asked for proof. But my point is where do the organisation draw the line between 'not following social "norms" and needing coaching' and 'requires formal reasonable adjustments'? Especially if the employee isn't asking for the reasonable adjustments.

Personally i would treat them like every other employee and give them feedback on their behaviour and what they potentially need to change to be successful within their role and the next one. I would also document it all and probably ask HR to get involved. What they need is good constructive feedback. You are coming from a good place and most people would take this well. You don't have to mention their disability to HR - that has no official diagnosis although you can certainly say they they have mentioned to it to you - just that there are things that need working on and how do they best support. Coaching is also a good call as is training on impact and influencing for them. With the help of HR you should be able to give them the help they need. The GDPR thing is a red herring. You are perfectly entitled to speak to HR for help on this - that is what they are there for.

@Hercisback

What happens if the person doesn't get a formal diagnosis? How does the OP handle the employee then?

It's a minefield OP and you sound like you are trying.

As they would any other employee they manage but the employee wouldn't qualify for additional protections under the Equality Act. I'm talking about a situation when someone has been formally assessed and told that no they are definitely not autistic.

No-one in life is entitled to a promotion. If they aren't capable then they aren't capable. But everyone should be supported to be the best that they can be as otherwise it's a waste of time, effort and resources. If they are autistic then they are legally entitled to reasonable adjustments.

Should have said that occ health will deal with whether they are covered by the Equality Act or not. I have a formal NHS autism diagnosis. All my letters to management from occ health say "may be a disability for the purposes of the Equality Act" I suspect to legally cover themselves by being as non-committal as possible. In fairness they've been shit though so that probably isn't best practice.

I agree everyone should be supported to be the best they could be. Therefore the advice offered to coach the employee (particularly in social situations) is good.

It seems a bit chicken and egg at the moment.

Kind of off topic, but I'm so curious what job this is where middle managers are expected to host parties in their own homes. I thought that kind of thing had been left behind in the 90s?

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave middle managers don’t. But as you become more senior it is deemed part of the job. Lockdown gave wonderful respite!

This person is already pretty senior then, if the next promotion would make them have to throw parties? I don't know if that makes it easier or harder for you... you'd think this would have been an issue throughout their career, but it seems nobody has ever raised it. Difficult.