Stuck between my husband and my employee

[StuckInTheMiddle1111]

DH and I own a small business. We have 4 employees. We are an essential business and have remained open throughout the lockdown with all staff working their normal hours.

We have an issue that’s been grumbling on for months and I’d like everyone’s opinions on this.

DH has developed a perfume sensitivity over the last few years and it seems to be getting worse. It affects our home life quite severely with him not allowing myself or my daughter to wear any scented deodorants, hair products or soaps. (Not great for a girl going through puberty). And refusing to socialise with friends who wear strong scents. And it’s now spilling into our work life.

One of the ladies who works for us apparently wears something that’s scented that irritates DH’s perfume sensitivity.

I’ve had a word with the employee who says she no longer wears any scented products or uses scented washing powder. But DH says he can still smell it.

So he’s installed a fan near her desk, keeps shutting his office door when she’s around and he wears a mask when near her and actively avoids her.

She has now lodged a formal grievance of bullying and intimidation because he makes her feel uncomfortable when he does these things.

I’m stuck in the middle. I can smell a very faint smell on her so she must be using something scented. (Although she insists she doesn’t). However, I also feel DH is just being very intolerant (he’s also very intolerant of noise and other things he considers annoying) and we’re all horrifically overworked, tired and stressed due to the covid situation so I feel his tolerance has reduced.

Likewise the employee is going through a difficult time, having recently split with her husband and leaving the marital home so I think both are being a bit unreasonable and both also have a point as well.

I just wondered what is the best way forward.

if he had a nut allergy, would you be complaining about him being unreasonable, because he didn't want you to cook with peanuts in the kitchen?
I would if he was trying to forbid me to cook with peanuts when I am at home, which is what OP's DH is doing: he wants to dictate not only what perfume the employee can or cannot wear in the office, but also what products she uses at home for her own hygiene and laundry - not just for herself but also her family members.

OP, I hope these answers are a wake up call: you need to step up as a boss and support your employee! Your DH is in no place to ask anything considering the fact that he hasn't taken any steps to resolve this himself, ie going to the GP but also research alternative treatments etc.

As well as having an employee with a perfectly valid grievance I think you may want to re-visit your policy on reasonable adjustments as it appears that with no formal diagnosis, medical assessment, risk assessment, consideration of cost/benefit to the business or impact on other employees towards whom you also have an equal duty of care you have implemented a whole raft of extreme measures on your entire workforce and allowed employees to be bullied if on the biased assessment of one employee they are not following these. With no policy or assessment framework to inform his behaviour.

This.

Incredibly unprofessional.

As well as having an employee with a perfectly valid grievance I think you may want to re-visit your policy on reasonable adjustments as it appears that with no formal diagnosis, medical assessment, risk assessment, consideration of cost/benefit to the business or impact on other employees towards whom you also have an equal duty of care you have implemented a whole raft of extreme measures on your entire workforce and allowed employees to be bullied if on the biased assessment of one employee they are not following these. With no policy or assessment framework to inform his behaviour.

This. You are on incredibly shaky ground here, legally. If this goes to tribunal, she will almost certainly win.

It's a really shit situation all round. I have the same thing as your DH. Chemical smells are like hot pokers straight into my sinuses. I can only tolerate one or two. Any strong natural smells are fine, like cooking or muck spreading fields. Washing powders are generally okay providing they're not too strong but air fresheners are downright painful. Many perfumes and most aftershaves too. Poor DH is limited to pretty much just Lynx Africa and JPG Le Male aftershave as those are two I've found don't hurt me (unless it's sprayed right in the room I'm in)

I get that your DH can't stand smells. It's a genuine, painful physical effect and not just something that annoys him but unless your employee was being stubborn and spritzing perfume on every day when it's been requested perfume free at work (which some workplaces can and do insist on) then there's not much that can be done.

He needs to work out something better than the masks and fans but as long as he's not making a big dramatic scene every time (very possible) him taking precautions and having specific policies at work like keeping doors closed is reasonable. If she's filing a grievance, perhaps he's being a bit too obvious about it?