So working mums (part time or otherwise), how do you cope with the guilt?

[charmkin]

?

bit left field i know but i feel guilty having put my career on hold to be a SAHM. i think mothers just feel guilty whatever they choose to do with regard to work don't you?

Few women on this site seem to have any need for assertiveness treatments...(thankfully!!!!!!!!!)

Oh, I don't know, Genidef. Could be fun.

What's the harm in getting just the one? I wonder if my husband would notice?!

He'd probably think it was that time of the month.

How about we all take some and then start threads about formula feeding, working mothers, private education and...what else?

Scottish independence would get a few going around here.

NKF - hmm, has there ever been a thread about correlations between different issues that get people very excited on MN? For example I am pro:

• natural childbirth
• extended breastfeeding
• SAHM when children are little
• private schools
• home cooking

etc etc etc

What is the correlation between different viewpoints I wonder?

"well, maybe women who work ARE sacrificing their children's care but that that is a lesser sacrifice than sacrificing their children's economic security? "

And I suppose you see nothing inflammatory about that sentence?

Could you define "when children are little"?

I've got it. MMR. Bet that one rates on the Richter scale.

Don't forget "plump nannies" on your list of controversial topics.

eleusis - absolutely not. Life is all about choices (sacrifices).

If I don't eat a slice of chocolate cake at tea time, I am sacrificing my pleasure now for my long term goal of being healthy.

If I don't go out at night, I am sacrificing my social life to my family life (and savings).

Etc etc etc

Oh, I definitely couldn't cope with a plump nanny (or even cleaner). Yuck.

Pro MMR here.

Or the unspoken one. If it hadn't been for her I would never have heard about this site. (And would probably get more work done overall.)

The trouble is, Anna, that you sit squarely on one side of the fence and you can't see that there is something on the other side of the fence.

I can see that being a SAHM is important to you. It is your choice. You are happy, Good for you.

You, on the other hand can not see that my children are benefitting from me and their dad working. Financial rewards aside, it is beneficial fo man y reason.

Oh Xenia, I feel your list coming on.... any chance you could conjure up a link to it for us?

eleusis - "when children are little".

I don't think children should be left for extended periods in group care until they can talk well enough to be understood properly, make their needs and feelings clear in proper sentences. So somewhere between two and three for most children.

Of course it's a bit more complicated than just picking a topic. You start with the controversial topic and then you add (liberally) words like "abuse", "trauma" and "damage". Then you've got a winner on your hands.

What about a 9 month old baby who stays with a nanny for 12 hours a day?

Pamina - couldn't cope with a plump nanny because anyone I would employ to take care of my children ought, first and foremost, to be able to take good care of herself ie know about living a healthy lifestyle.

Don't want a fat cleaner because I want him/her to be fit for what is a very physical job.

And generally speaking I hold great store by people taking good care of themselves as a reliable indicator of them taking good care of others.

What makes you an expert on other people's children, Anna? Fine, if that's how you want to run your life, but don't get all superior with people who do things differently.

My personal favourite is when someone says: "I'm not criticising your choices. It's just that IMHO (always said by people who clearly aren't humble) if I did something like that I would feel like the devil incarnate."

Oh, just seen your last post, you are clearly a nutter.

NFK - or 'ignorant' 'prejudiced'. Would that set things alight?