I'm a TA and the teacher embarrassed on my first day in the classroom

[youdontknowmyname]

Warning: it's a long story.

I'm a new TA at a secondary school (I have worked there before as a supply teacher). It was the first day of term for all year 7-13s, because it was the first day back the teacher provided some ice breaker activities for the kids to get to know their peers within their form class, the activity required a pen.

All TAs are required to carry stationery in case a kids need one. I saw a couple of kids in the corner who looked a little anxious so I assumed they did not have a pen, so I kindly offered pens to anyone who needed one. The teacher turned and looked at me, she looked at me as if I had defecated on her mother's head and she said "it's the first day back, they should have stationery on them at all times. If I were you I would put that back!". It was so embarrassing, the classroom went quiet and kids stared at me. Kids are like sharks, they can smell weakness, the water was filled with my blood.

I kept quiet for the remainder of the class, when the kids went off for their break I asked the teacher if I could speak to her privately. I was calm, collective and most of all professional. I told her I did not appreciate the way she spoke to me because it was embarrassing, and that I think it's ok to be lenient on the first day because it's important that the children have a pleasant first day experience. She denied all allegations and she had another go at me because it's school policy to carry stationery at all times.

I was coming down with a cold and I had a migraine, I suffered from severe depression in the past so I am a little more sensitive than others. I went into the staff locker room during break and I broke down in tears. My TA colleagues saw me cry and told me to head home as I was feeling sick and I didn't have the energy to cope emotionally. I spoke to my boss but I did not tell her about the pen incident, she sent me home and wished me a swift recovery.

I work through an agency, I got a call from my recruitment agent later on that day because my boss called her and told her about the "altercation" at work. She went absolutely mental and said that it was extremely unprofessional of me to speak to the teacher directly and that I should have kept my mouth shut and gone directly to her or my boss or both.

Am I in the wrong? what would you have done?

(The other TAs told me that this particular teacher is hard to work with because she's a rude control freak)

Op isn't a victim. She made a wrong call. Learn from it and move on, that's how you get better at stuff.

Little did the op know that she was bringing down the entire school structure with her uppity offer of pens.

Seriously? At the risk of sounding like Katniss Everdeen it must be a very weak system if it can be brought down by a few berries a few pens

At school I much preferred the "nice" teachers and it's no coincidence that more of my year did well in certain subjects than others.

You're not wrong and probably true everywhere

Well, 90% of the time, the kids who don't have a pen don't actually want a pen and will use their lack of a pen as an excuse to disrupt the class, will then pretend the one they have been given doesn't work and accidentally snapped in half or leaked ink all over the book of the person sitting next to them, or flew out of their hand of its own accord and hit another child on the head. And they will definitely try to get out of the class without giving back what is left of the pen. 10% of the time, it is very useful to have a spare pen to give a child who has a genuinely good reason not to have a working pen with them (eg another child stole their pen).

My victim blsming comment was made in respinse to the posts abive which talked about mental health, stigmas and taboos. The teacher was rude. No need to speak to OP like that. END OF.

Sorry for typos. Partially sighted and on crappy phone.

And who the fuck are you to tell me i should be feeling something? Jeez

You can think of me as your conscience, since you clearly don't have one.
I'd have that shit deleted if I were you, makes you look fucking awful.

Rather glad I don't work in a school....

Retired Chief Executive friend told me he disliked the education department the most as it was full of ex-teachers who had been used to having their own way in the classroom. Most difficult bunch of staff he had to deal with........

I think dear hairy you have got your knickers in a twist over nothing. Either you are wilfully misunderstanding me our you're hard of thinking. I'm stepping away as this is not why I came on this thread. Funny how a thread about a rude, inflexible person has been filled up with rude and inflexible people. OP, take care of yourself.

as it was full of ex-teachers who had been used to having their own way in the classroom. Most difficult bunch of staff he had to deal with........

So OP you mean then? Which I reckon is part of the problem, she was a teacher and can't adjust to being "just" a TA, hence telling the teacher that her way is better and being surprised when that wasn't appreciated.

this thread is fucking bonkers.

No I mean what do they do if they don't have one?

previous school? where discipline was not upheld? give them one I paid for, resigned to never seeing it again.

Current school? Where discipline is upheld? issue a pen and a 30 minute detention - this will be done at morning registration though, as tutors check. but it doesn't happen very often.

I set very little store by results tables where schools are ranked by 1% or 2% or 3% differences, but my current school's results are consistently more than 20% higher than those of my previous school, identical catchment area, identical intake, in fact many families are split between the two schools.

This rules and routines, and establishing them early really is a big deal.

I do feel that the teacher in this case was very seriously undermined, and put in a horrible position. It is likely that there is a whole school policy on bringing pens. Whether it is upheld or not, I don't know, but this teacher was attempting to uphold it, possibly with little school support.

You massively undermined the teacher. She was rude but that doesn't change what you did.

It will also be seen by the agency as you going home because you were upset.

Omg a 30 minute detention for not having a pen

I wish schools worked like the real world Does!

What a fucking storm in a teacup!
Fucking hell I have worked in some seriously shit schools with kids in gangs and in SEN Schools where I have been physically assaulted and had to wear body armour. A fucking pen was never high on the list of priorities,

All this bollocks about don't smile till Christmas etc is ineffective crap!
However op you also need to chill out, learn to read the room a bit better and grow a thicker skin.

One would hope kids would have the common sense to borrow a pen off a friend.

But no.

Many an occasion I've got a class in, settled them down with a starter activity and getting date/title written down.

Just as I get to starting actually teaching....

"Miss Hamptons, I've not go a pen"

It's now 5-10 minutes in and johnny has seemitleft it until after it's required to seek out a pen. I'm now sorting a pen out for johnny (see my earlier post about my stash of disgusting floor retrieved pens) and taking johnny's phone as 'down payment' for the loan of the pen. I'm also noting his name down for a poor organisation mark to be added onto his school credit account later.

It's more than 30 seconds.

I just wish they'd bring sodding pens. There's ALWAYS a phone. Charged. ALWAYS.

How do kids go from pen and smiggle obsessed stationery addicts to rejecting all writing implements in such a short time?!!!

Teacher here. As much as I agree about the time-wasting that occurs due to pupils' failure to bring equipment, the teacher shouldn't have made that comment in front of the class. But your reaction was unbelievably disproportionate, and suggests that you might not be up to dealing with the job.

This thread has blown all out of proportion. OP has used quite dramatic language to describe what happened and it's only her perception that we're hearing about.

She describes the teacher as a tyrannical bully but all she said, according to OP, was 'it's the first day back, they should have stationery on them at all times. If I were you I would put that back'

OP also thinks of the children - the new, nervous year 7s - as predatory sharks 'Kids are like sharks, they can smell weakness, the water was filled with my blood'

OP then goes on to say that the teacher 'denied all allegations' as if this was a courtroom drama.

It was just a small, one off incident and from that posters are up in arms over the way the teacher spoke to OP. No-one knows how the teacher spoke to her as there's very little to go on.

I wonder if OP's experiences as a supply teacher have made her a little afraid of the staff and children in school. It's a difficult environment to work in and you do need to be fairly robust to deal with all the different personalities and not take things so personally.

well exactly, you only have to read OP's own words to see that it's a distorted and highly inaccurate rendition of what probably didn't even register with anyone but her.

Are you always so dismissive?

Squirrels how old are you? Just wondering how long ago you left school to have such strong opinions about education today?

Haha about the school using their budget to buy pens.
Unlike the government schools don't have a magic money tree.

piece I left school 6 years ago.