I'm a TA and the teacher embarrassed on my first day in the classroom

[youdontknowmyname]

Warning: it's a long story.

I'm a new TA at a secondary school (I have worked there before as a supply teacher). It was the first day of term for all year 7-13s, because it was the first day back the teacher provided some ice breaker activities for the kids to get to know their peers within their form class, the activity required a pen.

All TAs are required to carry stationery in case a kids need one. I saw a couple of kids in the corner who looked a little anxious so I assumed they did not have a pen, so I kindly offered pens to anyone who needed one. The teacher turned and looked at me, she looked at me as if I had defecated on her mother's head and she said "it's the first day back, they should have stationery on them at all times. If I were you I would put that back!". It was so embarrassing, the classroom went quiet and kids stared at me. Kids are like sharks, they can smell weakness, the water was filled with my blood.

I kept quiet for the remainder of the class, when the kids went off for their break I asked the teacher if I could speak to her privately. I was calm, collective and most of all professional. I told her I did not appreciate the way she spoke to me because it was embarrassing, and that I think it's ok to be lenient on the first day because it's important that the children have a pleasant first day experience. She denied all allegations and she had another go at me because it's school policy to carry stationery at all times.

I was coming down with a cold and I had a migraine, I suffered from severe depression in the past so I am a little more sensitive than others. I went into the staff locker room during break and I broke down in tears. My TA colleagues saw me cry and told me to head home as I was feeling sick and I didn't have the energy to cope emotionally. I spoke to my boss but I did not tell her about the pen incident, she sent me home and wished me a swift recovery.

I work through an agency, I got a call from my recruitment agent later on that day because my boss called her and told her about the "altercation" at work. She went absolutely mental and said that it was extremely unprofessional of me to speak to the teacher directly and that I should have kept my mouth shut and gone directly to her or my boss or both.

Am I in the wrong? what would you have done?

(The other TAs told me that this particular teacher is hard to work with because she's a rude control freak)

OP - you sound like exactly the kid of TA I'd like to have looking after my kids

Really? One that goes home at lunchtime on the first day? I'd want someone a little less dramatic and a little more reliable, personally.

Lads, it's not about the bloody pens. Actually READ the OP, she was 7 types of wrong.
Lots of unnecessary nasty attacks on teachers though, god help the poor fuckers teaching your kids with your appalling attitudes.

"no wonder teachers and support staff are leaving the profession in droves if these are the people they have to put up with at work."

Those droves of teachers are in for quite a shock when they enter another profession. Asshole bosses are everywhere but most people manage without having a little cry in front of colleagues on the first day

Jesus Christ I'm so so glad I didn't choose to become a teacher of work in a school judging by the majority of replies on here. It's no wonder so many kids hate school and do badly if they're being taught by self important adults who are so focused on rules they don't actually give a shiny shit about the impact of those rules.

I'm really shocked that people think this is an ok way to work with a junior colleague. I'm genuinely taken aback.

Surely this is a teething situation and the two people need to learn to work as a team.

In my role if I spoke to a junior colleague like that I would expect my boss to have a word with me because their is just no need.

The teacher could have just had an adult conversation with op there was absolutely no need to have a go.

Cal that can be said on this thread for both 'sides' there has been a lot of venom about teachers too.
The OP is clearly vulnerable at the moment - I wonder if she is really saying what happened - blood in the water, defacated on head .... what the teacher actually said was not actually bad - 'they should have stationery on them on the first day' and they absolutely should. The pupils had not asked for a pen and from what the OP said they did not ask for one.

Whilst I have every sympathy for how she is feeling I can't help but think her feelings are disproportionate to what happened.

When she spoke afterward to the teacher she told the teacher what she should be doing - the teacher's response was that it was school policy to have a pen. Again the OP overreacted by crying, bad mouthing the teacher and going home.

I speak to my TAs in front of the class and they me. I once had to tell one to stop giving the kids sweets as rewards - she was fine about it. Neither of us get upset. We work together - the OP did not know if the pupils had pens or not! They just looked anxious. Pupils can look anxious for many reasons - OP should have asked if the were ok first!
I am not wanting to be horrible to the OP but do think the event has been over dramatised as she feels vulnerable.

piece I bet it's not what she said but how she said it.

I'm really shocked that people think this is an ok way to work with a junior colleague. I'm genuinely taken aback

I really shocked that you think for one minute that the OP's portrayal of the situation is accurate. You can tell instantly how over dramatised and played up it is, and how desperate she is to make herself look perfect and the other party terrible.

I would bet my house that it isn't remotely what happened.

You were only trying to help. She was mean and created something about nothing
. She could have said to the students. OP has kindly lent you pens but from now on I expect you to bring your own.

Hope it gets better OP, hang in there.

Squirrels my point is that the OP sounds vulnerable so may have interpreted it wrong - none of us know and can go back and forth with the 'teacher is a bitch' and 'the OP needs help' as much as we like but nobody actually knows ...

What I think most can agree on is the OPs reaction was extreme.

She sounds delightful and reminds me of many of my secondary teachers who 'barked' at students all day. There are far better ways to motivate and assert authority than just shouting at people.

Op, you probably did overreact but only you know how you felt and what you can deal with. Worth going back and giving it another go but this doesn't sound like the right environment. If it doesn't improve and you feel the same then move on. You only get one life, you need to enjoy it.

You were only trying to help. She was mean and created something about nothing

its not something out of nothing, though. Its a TA undermining the whole school policy and setting a very bad precedent right from the off, and forcing the teacher into a position where she either had to allow the day to be sabotaged, or contradict another member of staff.

To the person that added 'there'd be no time for teaching ifvstaff put good/bad marks on'.....um, yup. That's why they're written down on my to do list, and I spend my tim at break/lunch/after school doing them. It's the only way they get done.

To those criticising the teacher here, do you expect them to provide pens or should the students bring these? Because there's no money in the school budget.

I used to buy boxes of black pens from my own money just to save hassle in the classroom but inevitably these get taken over time.

Most of us are very happy to provide emergency pens.

In particular now I've stopped buying pens for the kids, I've taken to rounding up any pens that get left in my room.

I make a concerted effort to give out the most rancid, disgusting chewed ones to those who forget their own pen and hand it to them at fingertip length, whilst informing the borrower I don't know where it's been but it's all I have to lend.

That usually prompts them to bring their own for next lesson

People are dying etc. I work in education and have worked in secondary schools. It was done with the best of intentions I think and not to undermine the teacher.

allow the day to be sabotaged😂😂😂😂

It was a pen. Would you seriously rather a student sit on their arse for an hour and do nothing? Allowing their education to be sabotaged?

Why people ever say they wish they were back at school is beyond me.

Wow. Self important bunch, teachers.
What a ridiculous comment and sweeping generalisation. I'm sure there are some self important teachers as there are some self important people in every other job but that doesn't mean it's the case for all teachers.

It was a pen. Would you seriously rather a student sit on their arse for an hour and do nothing? Allowing their education to be sabotaged?

you don't really get the impact, do you. Its hard to explain to someone who doesn't have any understanding or experience at all, and to be frank, I am required somewhere else in a minute, anyway, but the school I was in last year, I would estimate that on average, each student lost a quarter of their education every day to this sort of time wasting, and irresponsibility. That is every student, even the ones who had pens, having their lessons held up whilst others were sorted out with pens, rulers, paper, etc, or what ever bits of day to day organisational responsibility someone couldn't be bothered with.

That's on average. Students lucky enough to be in a class where everybody had their pen might not have missed so much, and students in classes where more people wasted time like this, significantly more.

Strangely, I've worked in schools in impoverished and war devastated areas of East Africa, where literally from one month to anther, not one single child in a class of 60 would even once forget to bring their book, or pen, or homework, or ruler, etc.

That's because those children knew that getting qualifications or not could make the difference between eating or not within a few years.

They took their education very seriously. They cared what their results were, and so did their parents, if they had any.

The teacher was unprofessional to undermine another adult in front of the children.
You were courteous enough to the teacher to speak. to her in private.
The teacher was in the wrong in that respect.

OP you were in the wrong for handing out the pens.
. She's the teacher and if she's decided she wants to be fairly strict with the class to start with,, you have to go along with it.
In a way, handing out the pens was undermining her way of doing things.

You were both in the wrong.

The teacher was unprofessional to undermine another adult in front of the children

she didn't.

It was a pen. Would you seriously rather a student sit on their arse for an hour and do nothing

Sorry phone glitches out

What I was going to say was a friend of dds in year 1 had her pencil roll off the desk just as they were about to start writing. The girl went to retrieve the pencil and was screamed at to leave it alone. With no pencil she sat there very distressed that she couldn't get on with her work and then got told off at the end of the lesson because she hadn't done anything.

I think some people like in all walks of life like to throw their weight around

Little did the op know that she was bringing down the entire school structure with her uppity offer of pens.

you don't really get the impact, do you

No, because there isn't one half as massive as you're making it out to be. It takes 30 seconds to give what 4 or 5 kids a pen. It's hardly impacting on a whole classes learning. But a child writing nothing down for an hour does impact their learning.

Pathetic shit like this is what i detest about schools. Yes all kids should have pens but kids are forgetful, they lose things and lent stuff to their friends. Why a teacher wouldn't have a few spare pens in their class is beyond me.

And do you really think not giving a spare pen and making the child sit their and do nothing (and then probably get shouted at for that too) is going to make them take their education seriously? Course it's not. It's going to make them hate that teacher, hate that lesson and stop trying.

At school I much preferred the "nice" teachers and it's no coincidence that more of my year did well in certain subjects than others.

And do you really think not giving a spare pen and making the child sit their and do nothing (and then probably get shouted at for that too) is going to make them take their education seriously? Course it's not. It's going to make them hate that teacher, hate that lesson and stop trying.

^ THIS

Pathetic shit like this is what i detest about schools. Yes all kids should have pens but kids are forgetful, they lose things and lent stuff to their friends. Why a teacher wouldn't have a few spare pens in their class is beyond me.

^ AND THIS