I'm a TA and the teacher embarrassed on my first day in the classroom

[youdontknowmyname]

Warning: it's a long story.

I'm a new TA at a secondary school (I have worked there before as a supply teacher). It was the first day of term for all year 7-13s, because it was the first day back the teacher provided some ice breaker activities for the kids to get to know their peers within their form class, the activity required a pen.

All TAs are required to carry stationery in case a kids need one. I saw a couple of kids in the corner who looked a little anxious so I assumed they did not have a pen, so I kindly offered pens to anyone who needed one. The teacher turned and looked at me, she looked at me as if I had defecated on her mother's head and she said "it's the first day back, they should have stationery on them at all times. If I were you I would put that back!". It was so embarrassing, the classroom went quiet and kids stared at me. Kids are like sharks, they can smell weakness, the water was filled with my blood.

I kept quiet for the remainder of the class, when the kids went off for their break I asked the teacher if I could speak to her privately. I was calm, collective and most of all professional. I told her I did not appreciate the way she spoke to me because it was embarrassing, and that I think it's ok to be lenient on the first day because it's important that the children have a pleasant first day experience. She denied all allegations and she had another go at me because it's school policy to carry stationery at all times.

I was coming down with a cold and I had a migraine, I suffered from severe depression in the past so I am a little more sensitive than others. I went into the staff locker room during break and I broke down in tears. My TA colleagues saw me cry and told me to head home as I was feeling sick and I didn't have the energy to cope emotionally. I spoke to my boss but I did not tell her about the pen incident, she sent me home and wished me a swift recovery.

I work through an agency, I got a call from my recruitment agent later on that day because my boss called her and told her about the "altercation" at work. She went absolutely mental and said that it was extremely unprofessional of me to speak to the teacher directly and that I should have kept my mouth shut and gone directly to her or my boss or both.

Am I in the wrong? what would you have done?

(The other TAs told me that this particular teacher is hard to work with because she's a rude control freak)

disparaging anyone in front of anyone is crass, in front of kids presumably models that it is acceptable behaviour, following that up with workplace bullying is just wrong - I don't get why so many feel this is acceptable.

Your job is too support the teacher and help them in whichever way they want - Whines are you suggesting that the TA should have anticipated that the teacher wanted an opportunity to punish the students (as opposed to them getting pens and cracking on)? And that as she failed to anticipate this, she was somehow asking for it?

Wow.

Self important bunch, teachers.

Hi OP here

I am so sorry you are feeling this low this early in term.
I have been out the business for a while now but here are my thoughts for what they're worth...

1. Temping Teacher Agencies used to fight over each other to recruit staff. It was also possible as long as you got your taxes right to be on the books of several agencies.

I cannot think of one agent who ever gave me an earful on any issue. Not one. I would have walked. I was also in the agent's role for a time. Sweet talking schools and arse licking to get contracts and being asked by my boss to lie to supply about jobs/contracts/quality of school was not my thing. We never talked to our supply in the way you described though. They were our bread and butter.

Now - it may well be that with the onset of HLTA and LCS that you take what you can get. It may well be that your agent is under stress for not having met their number of teacher days pimping you out or feels you might lose them a contract. However, you shouldn't work for anyone who will make health issues worse when there are other agents and schools out there.

1. Which brings me to the school. Who is your ''boss'' there? Are you referring to the senior teacher or admin staff member in charge of cover or are you referring to the SENCO/Head of Learning Support?

I would be questioning why your altercation was reported back as negative feedback if you are a known quantity to the school and they have asked you back for a term.

Watch your back. A school will always try to avoid termly contracting with an agent as it costs so much more. Have you a contract with the school and they paid the agent a finder's fee or are you filling in timesheets for the agent and you can be replaced?

also how challenging is the school that they have been unable to recruit a TA ahead of term starting? How challenging/impoverished is it that pupils have no equipment day one? (week 2 yes but day one?) You have worked there before, did you not encounter this colleague previously? Are you supporting a class or a named pupil? How many times do you encounter this staff member and can you swap with another TA?

1. I have been a full-time teacher. I have been a Supply teacher. I have been a Learning Assistant on supply. I have been a LCS. I have had TAs in my classrooms.

In all cases I carried spare equipment. In all cases those with no equipment had it logged as a comment in their homework diary. If a TA gave out pens I would ask them to log the comment - if a pupil miraculously suddenly found a pen (!) then the TA didn't need to loan out theirs. I was always grateful in the settle them down/get on with it phase if a TA wanted to problem solve and help. I am a control freak but not that insecure I would have felt undermined.

irrespective: calling you out in front of 30 kids as if you were a kid is unprofessional. You speaking with her afterwards was fair. You did not enter into a slanging match in class ffs. That she has then complained to the SENCO/ person i/c of cover(?) is another reason to watch your back, swap classes or get the hell out of there. You won't be happy.

I have had five such altercations in fifteen years.
One teacher bawling me out in front of colleagues for interrupting a meeting she was chairing (I was relaying a message)
One teacher giving me short shrift for doing a task she had intended doing herself (in front of kids who were appalled at her attitude)
One teacher shouting at me for something his colleague had done which he thought I should have prevented.
One teacher talking to me like crap in general (napoleon complex)
One teacher being overfamiliar/undermining what someone else had asked me to do.

As a young teacher, I burst into tears. As an older teacher, I put them straight in private.

I hesitate to ask how young you are but it sounds like your confidence/self esteem has already taken a knocking.
The only thing I can see that you might regret is going home sick so soon into term: as a supply unless you are day to day choosing your own assignments it doesn't look good (I do understand but it's why medi day and nurofen exist...or you would have been better ringing in sick).

TAs were appreciated and precious to staff in secondary, we did not have that many available. Occasionally I might have had issues with one or two but as they were a Godsend I would overlook and greet with open arms. I would not have behaved like your colleague and when I was a TA myself I would not have expected to be treated in that way either.

All the best for the rest of term. Get some sleep. Think about whether you really want that contract and agent or can afford to go elsewhere.

The teacher was a cow, you sound kind and lovely. You had every right to challenge her to her face. Hopefully you won't have to work with her again and you can find someone more appreciative.

If pupils are supposed to have stationery on them at all times. Why do the TAs need to have any at all.

The teacher shouldn't have spoken to you like a child in front of the kids- very wrong. It all sounds like it got out of hand very quickly tbh. I think maybe you are a bit sensitive op for reasons you mentioned. On another note I'm so sad some of you could be teaching my kids in the future. Some of you sound just lovely, but others are self important miseries. How we'll stop bulling in school when it's clearly learnt from the top I don't know!

It wouldn't have occurred to them that your were undermining her with the pen thin- I've taught a lot of students who would have thought 'excellent. We can get away with it because ta will give us a pen.

Most TAs I work with would have drawn attention to it in that situation, so that I could've applied sanctions if necessary.

If pupils are supposed to have stationery on them at all times. Why do the TAs need to have any at all

Due to the fact that the TA may need to write or draw something, fill in a form, complete a social story, scribble a quick note in a planner etc etc. If they are travelling from class to class it makes sense for them to have their own equipment rather than interrupting the lesson to find one. I've never worked with a TA who did not have their own pencil case for such reasons.

Wow

I work in a rank driven organisation as civilian staff and a frequently 'speak directly' to much more senior people than myself.

I'm really quite taken aback that an assistant would be chastised fur speaking directly to a teacher.

I also think the teacher should have had a quick work in private and established some ground rules for you working g with her.

Humiliating someone is pretty poor show TBH.

I'm wondering if the OP hadn't offered pens, would she still be in the wrong?

"You didn't offer pens?? What kind of useless TA are you?"

"Any decent TA knows that! Not fit for purpose!"

OP, I hope you have a relaxing Sunday.

The way the teacher reacted was over the top.

That said, we don't know exactly what was said in the classroom and how it came across.

If the child had complained of no pen, teacher was going through the process (for us it's a poor organisation mark on their record) and normally I lend a pen in exchange for something of the child's (phone/keys, so they give me my pen back!) then the TA undermining that is cutting the authority the teacher has down, as well as going against the school rules.

We record all the poor work/attitude/organisation marks on the computer so parents can log onto the portal and see what their child gets those, and their good work etc marks for.

But undercutting this process in a new class, by a new member of staff might have come across really badly of the timing and the way it was done humiliated the teacher.

Child: "Miss I need a pen"
Miss:"rules say youneed to come to school prepared for learning. I'm afraid this this you'll have a poor organisation mark. Please remember..."
TA cuts in "oh it's ok child A, I'll lend you one"

It just makes the teacher look impotent.

That said, the teacher's reaction was excessive.

I hadn't it as a new teacher from an older member of staff once. She was vile to me in the corridor at break. Sadly for her I was a novice teacher, but not a novice adult and I took her to the staff room and gave her a piece of my mind!

TA's never provide pens in my school.

It's teachers job as it's part of our role to have the children get organised and take responsibility for this.

She was rude and is clearly a difficult character who needs handling with caution! You were hypersensitive. It should have been perfectly acceptable for you to talk to the teacher after the lesson to clarify expectations, but given that you say the teacher "denied all allegations" when you spoke to her and you burst into tears shortly afterwards, I'm afraid I'm a bit sceptical that you came across as as calm and professional as you like to think. As a new person who does not yet know what sorts of characters she is going to be dealing with, you would have been far more professional to stick with trying to clarify expectations, rather than accusing the teacher of treating you badly, embarrassing you and being mean to the kids in their class on their first day. Basically, your reaction on your first day was utterly OTT - it's far more sensible as a new person to get the measure ofmthe people they work with before they wade in with deniable "allegations."

We record all the poor work/attitude/organisation marks on the computer so parents can log onto the portal and see what their child gets those, and their good work etc marks for

At ds's school the teacher would have no time to teach if you recorded every incident that happened every day.

I am shocked at a lot of the responses. I get that the TA shouldn't have interfered but a lot of you think that it is fine to treat her like a child and belittle her. A lot of you sound like dictators without any compassion for another. All I read is how you have to be the boss, no matter the situation. I get that you need to be in charge but this was an extreme reaction to what happened and frankly, she could have been corrected in a nicer way. The reaction should be in proportion to the action. This clearly was a power trip.

I feel bad reading this thread. I don't want to know any of you hard people.

Oh my god. Are these children in school or or have they joined the army?
Maybe you are a bit sensitive OP but imagine how some poor kids cope with a teacher like that.
All the teacher needed to say was that from now on everyone needs to have their own pen.

As a long time TA I follow the teacher's lead in all things. As soon as it was obviously some students didn't have a pen I would have gone up to the teacher and said what shall we do about students with no pens. That gives her the heads up that some are without. As it was the teacher said something that the class could hear and op took it as an embarrassment. I would have immediately said in front of the class, sorry, what shall we do about the students without pens? And waited for her response. No need to feel silly in front of the class. I understand op wasn't feeling well so maybe coloured her thinking.

As for asking for a quiet word afterwards hmm.... if anything I would have said something along the lines of sorry, I didn't mean to step on your toes, it's something I've always done. And smiled. I know my place

Oh crikey that makes me sound like I'm a right sap. I'm not honestly.

Whether the teacher was in the wrong or right is irrelevant.

How you handled yourself ionce the class was over is what everyone will look at and that's all that now matters.

Let's say the teacher spoke to you rudely. You then cried in front of other staff members and moaned to them because she hurt your feelings. Absolutely unprofessional in any job. Of course you're not a robot, of course you have feelings - but you handle yourself professionally at work instead of making a scene on day one.

You say the teacher has a bit of a reputation - imagine what yours is now!

No wonder the agency is livid with you - the school must be asking them WTF kind of candidates are you giving us here?!

"...looked at me as though I had defecated on her mother's head..."
Well that's a look. The whole situation seems to have been overdramatised. Blood in water indeed, what nonsense.

Is this AIBU or something?! You've had some absolute wankers on you post OP no wonder teachers and support staff are leaving the profession in droves if these are the people they have to put up with at work.
Absolutely disgusting attitudes from some people, if you get such a kick out of belittling and humiliating your subordinate colleagues you should take a good look at yourself because you're nothing but a fucking bully and you shouldn't be in a position of authority especially over children.

I agree, the OP does seem prone to over dramatising- I wonder what the teacher's perspective of the situation is?

Wow cal sweeping generalisation. You don't respect teachers because a few are bossy

It's a lot more than a few though isn't it and I did at least say most of them don't realize they're doing it, as in I'm not accusing them of intentionally doing it every time

This is a horrible venom filled thread full of remarks that the OP isn't up to the job or is in the wrong environment etc. Huge over-reaction, it's a fucking school not the army

Wow what horrible replies on here.

I've been a teacher and a TA. Only ever have I had a senior teacher throw her weight around like this and it was a very unpleasant experience. She was regarded as a bully by other staff.

You dont need to stamp your 'authority' on a new class, unless that's how you roll but I think that's more for your benefit then anyone else's tbh.

Teachers and TA should be all working for the same goal and a TA should be able to work independently with in that setting - not being given orders or scared to act like a grown adult who is there to help the kids. My best TA were the ones who assisted my class with out asking for permission to basically breath!

Experience has taught me though op,not to tackle cross words directly - lesson learned!

The teacher was an arse hole.