I'm a TA and the teacher embarrassed on my first day in the classroom

[youdontknowmyname]

Warning: it's a long story.

I'm a new TA at a secondary school (I have worked there before as a supply teacher). It was the first day of term for all year 7-13s, because it was the first day back the teacher provided some ice breaker activities for the kids to get to know their peers within their form class, the activity required a pen.

All TAs are required to carry stationery in case a kids need one. I saw a couple of kids in the corner who looked a little anxious so I assumed they did not have a pen, so I kindly offered pens to anyone who needed one. The teacher turned and looked at me, she looked at me as if I had defecated on her mother's head and she said "it's the first day back, they should have stationery on them at all times. If I were you I would put that back!". It was so embarrassing, the classroom went quiet and kids stared at me. Kids are like sharks, they can smell weakness, the water was filled with my blood.

I kept quiet for the remainder of the class, when the kids went off for their break I asked the teacher if I could speak to her privately. I was calm, collective and most of all professional. I told her I did not appreciate the way she spoke to me because it was embarrassing, and that I think it's ok to be lenient on the first day because it's important that the children have a pleasant first day experience. She denied all allegations and she had another go at me because it's school policy to carry stationery at all times.

I was coming down with a cold and I had a migraine, I suffered from severe depression in the past so I am a little more sensitive than others. I went into the staff locker room during break and I broke down in tears. My TA colleagues saw me cry and told me to head home as I was feeling sick and I didn't have the energy to cope emotionally. I spoke to my boss but I did not tell her about the pen incident, she sent me home and wished me a swift recovery.

I work through an agency, I got a call from my recruitment agent later on that day because my boss called her and told her about the "altercation" at work. She went absolutely mental and said that it was extremely unprofessional of me to speak to the teacher directly and that I should have kept my mouth shut and gone directly to her or my boss or both.

Am I in the wrong? what would you have done?

(The other TAs told me that this particular teacher is hard to work with because she's a rude control freak)

ITS NOT ABOUT THE BLOODY PEN.

ffs.

Wow! Lots of extrapolating going on here! How do you know the students would have to sit and do nothing for an hour ffs! The teacher would probably have asked for hands up from those who didn't have a pen and then remind them to bring one the next day. THEN she or the TA could hand them out. None of this sitting there not getting an education shit. Jeez. The TA jumped in feet first that's all and was pulled up on it. Whether in a harsh way or not it's difficult to call. The op obviously took it as a telling off, as I said I would accept that I had jumped in and would have breezily apologised and moved on.

I am a TA. It is always hard to know when teachers are happy for you to take the initiative and when not to. For this reason, especially at the start of a year with a teacher I haven't worked with before, I ALWAYS refer thing like this to them. Once I get to know how they like to run their classroom, it's easier for me to know whether I can for example, allow a child to go to the bathroom. In your situation I would apologise for overstepping my authority and move on.

Being a TA is wonderful, but also extremely difficult because every teacher has a different idea about what we can and can't do regarding children's behaviour etc. I currently have five teachers in my year group - each one has very different classroom expectations and I have to be able to support THEIR decisions and methods. As do you.

You really did undermine the teacher. You didn't give her the chance to let pupils what she would like them to do if they didn't have the correct stationary. Instead you noticed a few nervous students and announced to the class to get a pen from you if needed.
The nervous students could have been nervous because it was the first day.

As a ta you have to follow the lead of the teacher. If you haven't had the chance to chat about expectations before the class, you wait until asked before jumping the gun. Then at some point you have that chat.

As for pencil case. Yes I carry one, but that's for me so when I am asked to do something I am not having to hunt around for supplies. It's also about setting an example to the pupils. As adults we come in prepared for the day. If a pupil has forgot their pen or it's broke, the teacher will either offer to lend the person a pen as ask me if I have a spare. But I don't look around a room and make assumptions.

I also work with the rude control freak. I was dreading going into that class because of all the gossip. I begged management to keep me in there after our first year together. She actually isn't. She doesn't like being undermined, interrupted, having support staff who ignore her few rules, and generally want to do their own thing. She is open to new ideas and takes everything on board.

As for comments about the school and it's need of agency on the first day. As a ta we can hand innotice during the last week. Recruitment over the holidays for schools can be a nightmare. So we come back with staff short and have to either use agency or be short staffed. Running ad, holding interviews, and taking into consideration a months notice from existing employee a term has almost passed.

The teacher would probably have asked for hands up from those who didn't have a pen and then remind them to bring one the next day. THEN she or the TA could hand them out. None of this sitting there not getting an education shit. Jeez. The TA jumped in feet first that's all and was pulled up on

So she's been shouted at for doing something the teacher would have asked her to anyway then? She wasn't trying to undermine anyone she was trying to help, which is essentially her job.

Squirrels, being deliberately obtuse is very draining

Gosh I think you handled that incredibly badly and have really hurt your chances of being kept on after your contract finishes.
She was a little rule but maybe felt that she needed to lay down the law to you as well as the kids since you had done a solo run in handling out pens. Complaining to boss when you were wrong was just bonkers .

I'm not being deliberately obtuse at all. I'm just don't feel the need to assert my authority continuously so I am clearly finding it hard to understand why others do.

No, because there isn't one half as massive as you're making it out to be. It takes 30 seconds to give what 4 or 5 kids a pen.

firstly, no it doesn't, not at all, and secondly who is going to pay for the pens? As a teacher I've ended up spending £50 per half term on stationary for the class, in the past, and that was at a time when I couldn't always afford enough to eat.

Your suggestion is ignorant. 30 seconds indeed. Maybe in the schools where you work, but more likely to be several minutes minimum, then the same when they are asked to start using their rulers, and the same when it is time to use a pencil....

are you seriously suggesting I take time out of teaching for every single one of those students every time, and pay for it myself? yes you are, because the lesson would have to stop, and because there is no other source of funding.

I'm just don't feel the need to assert my authority continuously so I am clearly finding it hard to understand why others do

Do you find it hard to understand that the teacher very likely didn't, at all?

I can only assume nobody has actually read the OP properly.

Why a teacher wouldn't have a few spare pens in their class is beyond me.

so, 4-5 pens a lesson, how many do you think are likely to come back?

Last year, Staples near us closed, and were selling pens off cheaply. I bought a packet of 50. This lasted less then 2 weeks. On ONE occasion a pen was returned in a usable condition, the same day. Another pen was returned the day after once. So altogether, 52 "lend outs" mostly I never saw them again. Many were deliberately snapped in half, and on one occasion a year 9 boy put the pen down his pants and appeared to rub it between his buttocks before handing it back.

I don't think you've read my comments. I don't work in a school. I'm glad I dont.

Why wouldn't you get the pens back? Do you not remember who you give them to and ask them before they leave?

I don't expect you to pay for the pens but it it really beyond schools budget to have a few pens??

I also don't understand how it takes so long to hand out pens. Genuinely.

Also mary I have read the op I have no idea what you mean.

You don't?
I'm struggling to understand most of the comments here. They seem to have taken OP at complete face value without actually seeing what her descriptions mean. Are people really so gullible?

Do you not remember who you give them to and ask them before they leave? no, not always, there is allsorts of things going on. Or do you suggest I break off what I am doing and record it on the register. Even if I do remember, how to you suggest I get the back if they don't hand them over?

it it really beyond schools budget to have a few pens?? you are not talking about " few pens" - you are talking about hundreds per department, or thousands across the school over the year, and yes, it is totally beyond the budget to supply children with pens if they forget them ( unless the teacher pays)

I also don't understand how it takes so long to hand out pens. Genuinely. take it from me, an AWFUL lot longer than you'd think - keep in mind that the motivation for asking to borrow a pen is normally to waste time, so it is very likely to be done one by one at inconvenient moments, even if you ask at the start who doesn't have one. Then there is the insisance that the one you have handed out doesn't work, and the demonstrations that it does, and the complaints that the neighbour has borrowed a better one.....

all circumvented if it is made clear at the start of the first lesson that failure to possess a working pen for yourself is a misdemeanor with non-negotiable consequences.

In my current school it is an immediate detention. Students do not forget pens, nor do they waste time like this in lessons, nor do teachers end up paying more than they can afford for class stationary.

if a TA undermined the school procedures at the very start of the year like that, I would be seriously upset.

Never mind how it inspires those who are genuinely just forgetful and disorganized to take more responsibility for themselves as well.

What reason do I have to not believe op? Considering I have met many self important teachers in my time who I can imagine doing exactly this. I don't think op is being hysterical. Some people aren't nice I would bet this teacher is one of them.

Ok copper so you don't have the time or the money to give students pens. What's the alternative?

The alternative is fairly bloody obvious - make it clear to the children it is their responsibility to have working pens with them at all times.

What reason do I have to not believe op

her own words?

No I mean what do they do if they don't have one?

Well thats fucking rude.

And really really fucking bad form to make a rape analogy

You should be ashamed of yourself for that one.

I'm always lending pens. Over the years' if only I'd had a hire fee.

Interesting students always have their phones

Oh dear, maybe you nusunderstand me. I was making a victim blaming analogy, not a rape one. I dont treat rape lightly

And who the fuck are you to tell me i should be feeling something? Jeez.