I'm a TA and the teacher embarrassed on my first day in the classroom

[youdontknowmyname]

Warning: it's a long story.

I'm a new TA at a secondary school (I have worked there before as a supply teacher). It was the first day of term for all year 7-13s, because it was the first day back the teacher provided some ice breaker activities for the kids to get to know their peers within their form class, the activity required a pen.

All TAs are required to carry stationery in case a kids need one. I saw a couple of kids in the corner who looked a little anxious so I assumed they did not have a pen, so I kindly offered pens to anyone who needed one. The teacher turned and looked at me, she looked at me as if I had defecated on her mother's head and she said "it's the first day back, they should have stationery on them at all times. If I were you I would put that back!". It was so embarrassing, the classroom went quiet and kids stared at me. Kids are like sharks, they can smell weakness, the water was filled with my blood.

I kept quiet for the remainder of the class, when the kids went off for their break I asked the teacher if I could speak to her privately. I was calm, collective and most of all professional. I told her I did not appreciate the way she spoke to me because it was embarrassing, and that I think it's ok to be lenient on the first day because it's important that the children have a pleasant first day experience. She denied all allegations and she had another go at me because it's school policy to carry stationery at all times.

I was coming down with a cold and I had a migraine, I suffered from severe depression in the past so I am a little more sensitive than others. I went into the staff locker room during break and I broke down in tears. My TA colleagues saw me cry and told me to head home as I was feeling sick and I didn't have the energy to cope emotionally. I spoke to my boss but I did not tell her about the pen incident, she sent me home and wished me a swift recovery.

I work through an agency, I got a call from my recruitment agent later on that day because my boss called her and told her about the "altercation" at work. She went absolutely mental and said that it was extremely unprofessional of me to speak to the teacher directly and that I should have kept my mouth shut and gone directly to her or my boss or both.

Am I in the wrong? what would you have done?

(The other TAs told me that this particular teacher is hard to work with because she's a rude control freak)

It's undermining as by just handing students a pen, teacher is not given the opportunity to enforce rules and students may assume they can get away with no pen again....

I don't understand why the OP is seen to be undermining the teacher here

You don't? Perhaps you should read the OP then.

Disclaimer: I'm a teacher.

You do not belittle members of staff in front of children. Period.

TAs are not to be disciplined and kept in line like the children. They are professionals in their own capacity and should be respected as such.

OP I think you overreacted in the staffroom and by going home but I can see why this incident upset you when you were only doing it out of kindness. The correct thing for the teacher to do was to ask you not to hand out pens so she could make a note of who had come ill-prepared to class.

Teachers are a strange breed. Some of them get such a kick out of belittling kids, they forget themselves and do the same to adults.

I've come across this several times and think it's so ingrained a habit that they don't always realize they're doing it (I'm not defending them). Not necessarily belittling all the time but just generally being bossy and talking to everyone like they're one of their students. One of the year managers I know is an ex screw and you can see it from a mile off

It's probably true of several professions where someone's got a level of authority and is one of the reasons I don't respect them

Wow cal sweeping generalisation. You don't respect teachers because a few are bossy ...

You sound a bit weedy to be honest. I wouldn't invite you back.

I think you sound like a lovely person & exactly the sort of TA who would be welcome in our school. The teacher undermined you in front of the children but you dealt with it professionally. Now put this behind you & go back to school with your head held high! ☺

She did not deal with it professionally at all!

The teacher could have dealt with it better, too, but the situation should not have arisen in the first place. The OP's intervention was inappropriate.

Learn from it and move on.

I think you sound like a lovely person & exactly the sort of TA who would be welcome in our school. The teacher undermined you in front of the children but you dealt with it professionally

She cried, complained to several people, and then left. If you think that is professional and what you are looking for in a TA, I truly hope you are not in charge of recruiting them!

I know you said that you also had a migraine but going home on the first day because of what the teacher said about the pens makes you look a bit soft imo.

Lairy I read the OP. The teacher didn't tell the kids and the TA that she was using this moment to check if everyone had a pen until AFTER the TA offered extra pens. If she had made this clear and the TA went against the teacher's stated intentions, that would have been undermining to the teacher.

I am assuming that the OP wasn't aware ahead of time that the teacher was worked up about who had a pen and who didn't.

I think at the beginning of term it is a very basic assumption on the part of children and parents, that they are going to need pens, and on the part of TAs that they are not to take it upon themselves to hand them out. I don't think it is something the teacher needs to, or should have to spell out to anyone.

There was a lot of research out recently about what type of TA "support" actually hinders education, and this is a pretty good demonstration of exactly that.

The teacher didn't tell the kids and the TA that she was using this moment to check if everyone had a pen until AFTER the TA offered extra pens

She didnt get a chance to, OP jumped in. And then afterwards told the teacher that she thought it was more important to be nice and lenient! She is so out of line.....

No bollocks.

You are exactly right.

I've done military briefings, training and university tutoring. You fucking back up whatever the other says or does because you are the teaching team. That's it, no bullshit or soft soap ing.

The teacher has done what a lot of teachers do if they are stupid, which is use their parent child teacher voice to their TA.
Now if that is what you've agreed Eg 'you are my stooge today, demonstrate that you act on my instruction so that they do'.. Well OK..
If they block you being helpful to the cohort on day one, which I agree is absolutely reasoned and sensible, then yes, speak to them.
The agent is pissed because they want to be seen as necessary. They aren't. They want to be either magnanimous problem solver, or crawly client subservient teller offer. That's a psychological game that is completely wasteful.

I don't like the term teaching assistant, it's learning assistant in.my view. You are facilitating learning by showing that adults who are paid to do a job can deal with contingency and preparation. Your teacher, on the other hand is showing that if learning fails she wants an open door to blame the children, the clients, for her preparation failures.

You are an excellent TA. Please continue,

You are an excellent TA. Please continue

Is that a joke?

It must be. Excellent TA? Didn't even make it through the day without tears and tantrums and going home early? You want her to continue on in that vein?
Terrible advice but since the school gave bad feedback and the agency are unimpressed then it probably is a moot point anyway.

The op called the teacher's 'i am the teacher' game, and made up some shit about 'yeah honestly it was like a test, yeah'

Bollocks.

Pretty sure that isn;t at all what happened, but whatever.

What's your job hairy,?

I love the snivelling bullies assistants on here all crowding round to say how hard they would have been.. If..

This thread is definitely indicating that too many people still equate teaching with bullying. Those type really really need to go, (and perhaps get jobs as waiters in a Mitchell and Webb sketch)

I don't care what you did wrong it's fucking not on for her to be talking to you like that in front of the children. It wouldn't have occurred to them that your were undermining her with the pen thing but it would have been clear as day that she was undermining you and treating you as if you're a child like them, to be told off and disciplined when you misstep.
She should have had words with you after the lesson.
Honestly any teacher who thinks it's acceptable to talk down to their TA in front of the class has the markings of a bully who likes to throw their weight around at the expense of their subordinates.
Nasty behaviour.

Starts off with only one or two who forget stuff. As the weeks go on more seem to forget and worse they forget to hand borrowed items back. Supplies run low so often they get sent to other classes to borrow, and of course others come to their class seeking elusive pens. 15 minutes can be taken from the start of the lesson sorting lol this. And of course the 'borrowed' equipment that is forgotten lost or ruined is money lost by the school. Ignore the small stuff is not a good idea. Stop the small stuff effectively and the kids realise quickly that yours is a class not to mess about in and to be prepared for. Let the little things slide and they start to test the boundaries more and more to see where you draw the line and if you can draw the line. My friend says no one ever turns up to their class unprepared- often hearing them borrow from mates in the corridors, they don't do it for the more lenient teachers and spend half those lessons wandering in and out (& diarupting) the lessons of others looking for pens. The teachers of those students are not well thought of by the others!

I'm not sure the teacher's reaction was helpful but you shouldn't have done that on a first day.

I have some utterly amazing TA's who pullme up when I go too fast or need to repeat/rephrase for certain pupils and they knows those kids so well.

I listen to them, I think incredibly highly of them as pupil managers and facilitators in the classroom.

BUT we've been working together a long time. First day, undermined a teacher with a new class (we don't know how difficult said class is either) and trying to set your stall out as a teacher. Well, I can see how it went down like a lead balloon.

That said, the reaction was OTT but you never know OP...maybe the teacher had a headache too.

I don't think either of you were in the wrong. I do think you should always talk to someone directly if you have issues with them (which you did). Hope day 2 goes better for you